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  • Thomas Helwys
    Forum Member
    Forum Member
    • Aug 2014
    • 126

    #1

    How S.C.A.T. Proved I'm Clean

    Recently I went to a Bible Believing Doctor (Or so I thought) until he told me I would need to have what is called an enema to do some additional testing to find the cause why my most recent child turned out to be a girl instead of a MAN. I was horrified at the though of this doctor putting his large tool in my opening where vile things come forth during my morning waste purges. I explained to him that being a KJV Bible Believing Baptist at America's, no God's favorite church precluded any need for this so-called enema. After all Jesus tells us in Mark 7:15 "There is nothing from without a man, that entering into him can defile him: but the things which come out of him, those are they that defile the man." And have you seen the things they use to clean out "down there?" Truly terrifying but I feel I must show you so you know what to avoid:



    I then explained to him S.C.A.T. or Spiritual Cleansing Anal Tracts made me clean even down there by the power of the Holy Spirit! The doctor was impressed with how Jesus keeps pure Christians as clean as a whistle on the inside and the outside! AMEN!!
    Revelation 19:15-16 "And out of his mouth goeth a sharp sword, that with it he should smite the nations: and he shall rule them with a rod of iron: and he treadeth the winepress of the fierceness and wrath of Almighty God.And he hath on his vesture and on his thigh a name written, King Of Kings, And Lord Of Lords."
  • Faith_Machine
    Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
    True Christian™
    • Mar 2011
    • 10050

    #2
    Re: How S.C.A.T. Proved I'm Clean

    Wait, what? Why are you putting things in your hindquarters? I don't even think about my hindquarters if I can possibly avoid it. This is most troubling.
    WARNING:
    In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
    REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

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    • Thomas Helwys
      Forum Member
      Forum Member
      • Aug 2014
      • 126

      #3
      Re: How S.C.A.T. Proved I'm Clean

      Originally posted by Faith_Machine View Post
      Wait, what? Why are you putting things in your hindquarters? I don't even think about my hindquarters if I can possibly avoid it. This is most troubling.
      You misunderstand: through S.C.A.T. nothing had to go in my nether regions since the power of Christ keeps me completely the clean. The "doctor" wanted to put something in there and I refused.
      Revelation 19:15-16 "And out of his mouth goeth a sharp sword, that with it he should smite the nations: and he shall rule them with a rod of iron: and he treadeth the winepress of the fierceness and wrath of Almighty God.And he hath on his vesture and on his thigh a name written, King Of Kings, And Lord Of Lords."

      Comment

      • Faith_Machine
        Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
        True Christian™
        • Mar 2011
        • 10050

        #4
        Re: How S.C.A.T. Proved I'm Clean

        What I'm not understanding is the self-sodomy part. It's good that you posted scripture emphasizing the need to avoid it, but that just begs the question: Why are you doing something when you know God wants you to stop? If you need help stopping, we will help you!
        WARNING:
        In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
        REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

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        • Phalanx
          Unsaved trash
          • Mar 2008
          • 31

          #5
          Re: How S.C.A.T. Proved I'm Clean

          What is it you don't understand about him "NOT" performing self sodomy on him self?

          Tom clearly stated that through S.C.A.T, God keeps him clean, inside and out.

          It was the doctor that wanted to perform the so called sodomy.

          Comment

          • Virginia Day Templeton
            Christ's Battle Axe
             
            • Dec 2006
            • 2827

            #6
            Re: How S.C.A.T. Proved I'm Clean

            I hope the equipment is being blessed by a pastor in between uses. Seems like an easy way to transmit demons.
            sigpic

            Comment

            • Faith_Machine
              Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
              True Christian™
              • Mar 2011
              • 10050

              #7
              Re: How S.C.A.T. Proved I'm Clean

              Originally posted by Phalanx View Post
              What is it you don't understand about him "NOT" performing self sodomy on him self?

              Tom clearly stated that through S.C.A.T, God keeps him clean, inside and out.

              It was the doctor that wanted to perform the so called sodomy.
              You think I don't know what "phalanx" means? That's Latin for p***s!

              You sicko.
              WARNING:
              In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
              REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

              Comment

              • Phalanx
                Unsaved trash
                • Mar 2008
                • 31

                #8
                Re: How S.C.A.T. Proved I'm Clean

                Originally posted by Faith_Machine View Post
                You think I don't know what "phalanx" means? That's Latin for p***s!

                You sicko.
                Wrong, FM. Phalanx is the nick name for the M61 Vulcan cannon mounted on the F-4 and F-14 fighter jest. It shoots 6,000 20 mm rounds a minute.

                Get your mind out of the gutter, you freak!!

                Comment

                • Zechariah Smyth
                  Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
                  True Christian™
                  • Feb 2011
                  • 15251

                  #9
                  Re: How S.C.A.T. Proved I'm Clean

                  Originally posted by Phalanx View Post
                  Wrong, FM. Phalanx is the nick name for the M61 Vulcan cannon mounted on the F-4 and F-14 fighter jest. It shoots 6,000 20 mm rounds a minute.

                  Get your mind out of the gutter, you freak!!
                  Treat people with respect or you'll be asked to leave.

                  sigpic

                  Comment

                  • Basilissa
                    South of the Border outreach program
                    True Christian™
                     
                    • Mar 2013
                    • 12993

                    #10
                    Re: How S.C.A.T. Proved I'm Clean

                    Originally posted by Phalanx View Post
                    Wrong, FM. Phalanx is the nick name for the M61 Vulcan cannon mounted on the F-4 and F-14 fighter jest. It shoots 6,000 20 mm rounds a minute.
                    Actually, Brother FM is right. A phalanx is lots and lots of p....ses (here, 256):

                    God created fossils to test our faith.

                    * * *

                    My favorite LBC sermons:
                    True Christians are Perfect!
                    True Christian™ Love.
                    Salvation™ made Easy!
                    You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
                    Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
                    Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
                    Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
                    Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
                    The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
                    Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
                    God HATES Rational Thinking!
                    True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

                    Comment

                    • Phalanx
                      Unsaved trash
                      • Mar 2008
                      • 31

                      #11
                      Re: How S.C.A.T. Proved I'm Clean

                      Originally posted by Zechariah Smyth View Post
                      Treat people with respect or you'll be asked to leave.


                      I showed FM the same level of respect that he showed me.

                      Comment

                      • Marko Loimaan-Aho
                        Forum Member
                        Forum Member
                        • May 2014
                        • 709

                        #12
                        Re: How S.C.A.T. Proved I'm Clean

                        Originally posted by Phalanx View Post
                        I showed FM the same level of respect that he showed me.
                        Yes.
                        But you have not EARNED any respect, you fool.

                        Jude 1:4

                        Sire Faith Machine is distinguished

                        Hebrews 13:7
                        PRAISE THE LORD ALMIGHTY!
                        Revelation 21:8

                        Animal Rights - A Christian Perspective
                        Satan’s new technology – Black is even darker than before

                        Comment

                        • Phalanx
                          Unsaved trash
                          • Mar 2008
                          • 31

                          #13
                          Re: How S.C.A.T. Proved I'm Clean

                          ^^^^No more a fool than you.

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