True Christian Limericks

[Witch Hammer]

Disclaimer: the format used in the following poems is not meant to glorify or promote tolerance of the Irish in any way.

There once was a God mocking goth
Who had made The Sweet Savior quite wroth
Judgement day came
Now she's writhing in flame
While Jesus above jeers and scoffs

There once was a coon from Nantucket
Who told our Redeemer to Suck It
A good man overheard
And with nary a word
Cut out it's tongue and then chucked it

There once was a homer from France
With a zipper in back of his pants
The laws of The Lord
He steadfastly ignored
Now on satan's griddle he'll dance

[Jim Farmer]

Re: True Christian Limericks

There once was a priest from Rome
Who took boys to St Peters Dome.
When the parents found out
The law they did flout
And the priest never made it home.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: True Christian Limericks

A bird and a bat, having met,
Saw that the stage had been set:
Said the bat, “I’m a bird.”
Said the bird, “I have heard.”
And this remains true even yet.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: True Christian Limericks

Isn't poetry something for gays?

[Witch Hammer]

Re: True Christian Limericks

There once was a scotsman named Séamus
Who played the bag-pipes with his anus
Whilst buried b@lls-deep
In the gut of a sheep
Thus encurring God's writ of mandamus

[Jim Farmer]

Re: True Christian Limericks

Isn't poetry something for gays?

There once was a cranky old man
Who poetry wanted to ban.
"I'm sure that it's gay
Well, it was in my day"
Yet of Psalms, he is a great fan.

[Didymus Much]

Re: True Christian Limericks

Isn't poetry something for gays?

There once was a miserable coot,
Said, "He who likes poems is a fruit!
Sagacious rhymes
Are serious crimes!
And stop putting stuff up your 'chute!"

From someone of calmer repute,
"Take that bend right out of your snoot.
The poems in the Bile
Meet not your denial
And irony's not your strong suit".

[Witch Hammer]

Re: True Christian Limericks

The old man is correct in a way
Most verse is incredibly gay
But with prayer and resolve
The problem is solved
And we compose without lisp or sashay

So be kind to the dotard old fellow, (no offence, Brother COM)
Rheumy eyed with teeth that are yellow (a glorious shade of yellow, I must say)
He's more righteous than many
And of your crap, won't take any
So please stop pumping lucifer's bellows

[Didymus Much]

Re: True Christian Limericks

This ode is to Pope Frankie's mom.
At gangbangs she was quite the bomb,
She only felt right
When completely airtight
With Bathfire, Flint (elder), and COM.

[Didymus Much]

Re: True Christian Limericks

Pope Frankie's mom was a whore,
Selling favours be it in or out-door,
She'd say with a grin,
As she wiped off her chin,
"Next customer, please, I want more".

[Didymus Much]

Re: True Christian Limericks

Frankie's mom was a two-bit mantrap,
With a few rotten teeth in her yap,
If some john would not pay,
She'd smile (ewww!) and say,
"'S'ok, hon, you've now got the clap".

[ExGay Alex]

Re: True Christian Limericks

Ezekiel 16:49
does not give you reason to whine.
stop bopping your knob
and go find a job
and stop asking for what is mine.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: True Christian Limericks

Genesis Exodus Nehemiah,
Esther Proverbs Obadiah,
Kings Ezra Haggai -
Amos Ruth Malachi.
Micah Nahum Zephaniah!

Mark, Luke, 1 Corinthians,
Galatians Acts Philippians.
Hebrews James Peter 1,
Revelation Mark John…
Philemon Titus Ephesians!


(I'm sure those who are aware of "Project Habakkuk will understand.)

[Poordumbdirt]

Re: True Christian Limericks

invest-I-gations complete
will render Pud, oh-fficial meat


infractions, ungorn
welcome, outworn
hold pattern here, short and sweet

[Alvin Moss]

Re: True Christian Limericks

invest-I-gations complete
will render Pud, oh-fficial meat


infractions, ungorn
welcome, outworn
hold pattern here, short and sweet

A heathen hath come here among us,
Pretending a love for sweet Jesus.
He thinks he's a poet,
Though you wouldn't know it,
And he's going to Hell, whether it rhymes or not.