Perks of being a woman...

[confedchick]

OK, ladies - I see the Men have a hot new thread that pops up on my summary screen (I am a woman so I shan't venture to the MEN'S only forum) but they have a good topic.
Let's state why we enjoy being a woman.
I'll start.
Doors are held open for me
I'm not expected to fix things around the house
It's my job to be seen and not heard (look pretty and I don't have to engage in conversation on topics I most likely don't understand anyway)
I can enjoy the way the kitchen smells during and after baking

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Perks of being a woman...

I'm pretty sure that my wife is relieved to have me around to do all of the thinking and make all of the decisions.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Perks of being a woman...

Having a Christ-like man to worship.

[Adam Nelson]

Re: Perks of being a woman...

Women have the honor of being the incubator for however many children their husband chooses to have in his family.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Perks of being a woman...

Asking for permission to speak in church

Baking the perfect pie

Making sure the house is spick and span

Ironing

Finding ways to prevent dish pan hands

Hosting the Ladies of Landover afternoon tea parties

Match Making

Being on call for Pastor Zeke's every GOLDY whim

I love being a woman

[Glendora Christianson]

Re: Perks of being a woman...

Being able to cry away a speeding ticket.

Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies, and More!

We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

Shoes, Shoes, Shoes!

No matter how bad we are, Jesus will still wash our feet.

[Zipplock]

Re: Perks of being a woman...

You Woman Make me want to Vomit two thumbs down

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Perks of being a woman...

You Woman Make me want to Vomit two thumbs down

Great, another catfight.

Would you care to explain your disapproval, or are you just going to bounce from thread to thread spewing venom?

[Zipplock]

Re: Perks of being a woman...

Woman are not effing incubators you sexist piece of dog shit... just because we were built to have babies doesen't mean we have to make them. you people don't even deserve to have children the way you go on saying how you beat your wives and children because thats what you think god wants you to do. if any man put his hands on me or my kids i would be in prison for killing his stupid ass and i would not regret it.

[JennyD]

Re: Perks of being a woman...

Woman are not effing incubators you sexist piece of dog shit...

That's revoltingly vulgar. How dare you come into a Christian church forum and spew such filth? This is not a Sam Kinison Tribute Chat!

just because we were built to have babies doesen't mean we have to make them.

And just because ovens were built for baking, doesn't mean they have to bake things. Just because cars were built for driving, doesn't mean they have to be driven. You could make both an oven and a car into a planter, for example.

Gee, that'd be a clever use of a designed item, wouldn't it?

if any man put his hands on me or my kids i would be in prison for killing his stupid ass and i would not regret it.

Are all atheists as violent, hate-filled, and remorseless as you?

[Nobar King]

Re: Perks of being a woman...

• Usher wants to dance with you.
• Don't have to shave a beard.
• Dainty feet.
• Soft hands.

[Mistress Cookie]

Re: Perks of being a woman...

What I love best about being a woman is that I am cared for. That I do not have to do things alone, and have guidance.

Not only is God in Heaven watching out for we, the weak and defenseless, but the good Men of the Congregation are, as well.

I can contribute as my abilities allow, yet do not have to bear the yoke alone, or be pushed beyond my capability.

We are cherished, valued above rubies. We are not exposed to the brutality of life, as our menfolk are, but kept in a precious, safe nest of love....almost like a velvet-lined jewel box.

This is the home.

[Adam Nelson]

Re: Perks of being a woman...

Woman are not effing incubators you sexist piece of dog shit... just because we were built to have babies doesen't mean we have to make them.

My foul friend, God did not design your body by accident. You were created by divine design and set to life with a purpose. A woman should be honored that God created her as a gift unto man and to be an incubator for her husband's children.

Every day, let this praise to God part your lips, all before you tend to your profession of homemaking:

Psalm 139:14: I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.

If your soul knoweth well, you will have a happy life. But if you keep up all your cussing and feminist attitude, you will assuredly have a sad, cold loneliness that will only abate once you're cast into hell's kitchen.

You see, Satan is always busy baking all sorts of sinful confections in his ovens of hell and is always running short on eggs. It's no coincidence that a sinful woman who refuses to have kids is full of a sinful egg and holds a priority spot on Satan's shopping list.

Don't become an ingredient for Satan's kingdom by denying God's natural order. Take pride in being an incubator and joyfully bake good food in your own kitchen's oven, as it all edifies natural order, the nuclear family and the purpose for your life. God bless!

[Rawwrr]

Re: Perks of being a woman...

I just have to say, you people make me incredibly sick.
The only person posting on this thread with any sense at all is Zipplock. And I have to thank her for standing up in some way. This thread's got a good title and purpose, but the women posting in here are listing all of the wrong perks. We are not here to serve man. Society has oppressed us since the beginning of our existence, and men like to think they are our superior. No..I take that back. Only YOU christian-baptist extremists, and the select other groups of men who are living in the past, think that women are nothing more than your child-baring machine that will keep the house clean when you are out at work, tainting society with your ass-backward views. A lot of men live in the today, and respect the fact that a woman is equal, and can handle the hard blows that life hands us, just as well as any human being with a penis. I am sad to hear that many of you men on this forum actively beat your wives and children, because they 'disobey your godly command'. Although I am not religious myself, and am HAPPY to say that I do not believe in god, I do respect the views of many people who choose to fall into any religion. However, this fact that you believe inflicting harm on your own family is the correct way to go, deeply disturbs me. I am all for the 'making the world a better place' and 'peace and love on earth', but the methods in which you go about that, make you all come off as horrible people. I do not have any children, but like Zipplock stated, if any man laid so much as a finger on me or my child in any violent way, I would not hesitate to take a frying pan to his face.
The point is, no woman should ever succumb to being any man's bitch. A stay-at-home mother who loves to bake and make her husband happy? Sure. But not if you think that is all you are capable of.
Some perks to being a woman?
Showing that we don't need a penis to actively contribute to society in the same ways a man can. (Therefor, hopefully slapping some sense into some of you male christian pigs, and waking you up to smell the coffee.)

[Nurse Clampett]

Re: Perks of being a woman...

You really have penis envy, don't you?