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  • Ezekiel Bathfire
    Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
    Christ's Rottweiler
     
    • Jan 2008
    • 22921

    #1

    A New Car!

    So Landover Church has bought me a new car. This one has so much technology that it’s taking some getting used to but I’m working on it.

    One of the features is a large thing like an iPad in the center of the dashboard with a touch-screen. If I want to alter the a/c, all I have to do is press the button in the top row that has a picture of a house on it. I am then shown 4 windows marked “Engine”, “Lights”, “Interior,” “Mode”. I press “Interior” and then a menu appears that lists “Steering”, “Seats”, “Windows”, “Sunroof”, spme others I can’t remember, and, if you press the down-arrow, at the bottom, “Airconditioning.”

    I press “Airconditioning” and then I see the boxes for “On”, “Off”, Recirculation” and “Fresh”. I choose which one I want and then two sliders for “Temperature” and “Fan Speed” appear. I make the adjustment and press “OK”.

    If it’s not quite right, all you have to do is rinse and repeat. I often play with this, just for the joy of how cleverly designed it all is. As my old fingers jab at buttons and choices, this staring at the screen passes a long journey when not much is happening on the highway. It’s so simple and I laugh at the old car that had nothing but a few crude knobs to do the same thing.

    I mention this as I found that this huge color screen does something else: It shows videos! Now at the moment, I think there’s something wrong with it. The videos don’t show up when the car’s in Park or Drive. They only show when it’s in Reverse. I’d like to get this fixed.

    The other thing is that the videos are usually the same – a piece of road videoed about 2 foot above the ground. Sometimes there’ll be other cars, buildings, or houses but sometimes it’s just a wall. I assume that if I contact the car maker, I’ll probably be able to buy other, more interesting ones such as a car repair video that is on this one. (I like car repair stuff.)
    Click image for larger version

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    Having said that, at Walmart the other day, I did notice a new one: An old woman walked into the screen from the left, the camera went right up to her and she hit the ground and disappeared under the camera. Is this a demo video? Do any of you have it? I missed the start and the end, so I don’t know if there was an address to write to for more.




    sigpic


    “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

    Author of such illuminating essays as,
    Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
  • Johny Joe Hold
    Mayor of Freehold
     
    • Feb 2010
    • 12993

    #2
    I saw in the budget Landover had purchased you a new car, Pastor Bathfire. The hope is you will enjoy it and speed from saving one sinner to the next. The new technology may be challenging. Videos like the one of a woman diving for safety while you back the car up are not relevant to your work as a pastor.
    Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.

    Comment

    • Madame Frottage
      Forum Member, Midget Porn Enthusiast
      • Jan 2025
      • 269

      #3
      I hope it has a powerful vroom-vroom and that you won't pull a Princess Di.
      I evvy Lot's wife, I wish I tasted good on poisson d'frites!

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