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Re: What are you offended by right now?
Someone here thinks that I ride the shortbus. I've never actually ridden one in my life.
Someone here thinks that I ride the shortbus. I've never actually ridden one in my life.
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Re: What are you offended by right now?
Why so glum, scum? Remember, Jesus can cure you of being a retard. Heck, He can even get you a new ride. How's that sound, champ?Originally posted by XkazzoX View Post
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Re: What are you offended by right now?
I'm not a retard.Comment
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Re: What are you offended by right now?
Of course, sweetie. You are just, um, different. What would be a nice way to say it...? Oh, I know. IQ challenged.Originally posted by XkazzoX View PostGod created fossils to test our faith.
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My favorite LBC sermons:
True Christians are Perfect!
True Christian™ Love.
Salvation™ made Easy!
You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
God HATES Rational Thinking!
True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.Comment
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Re: What are you offended by right now?
My IQ is 120. I don't think that's "IQ challenged."Comment
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Re: What are you offended by right now?
Oh, of course, sweetie. I believe you are intelligent about as much as I believe that you "discovered" a plant-animal made of plastic.Originally posted by XkazzoX View Post
Does your caretaker know that you are using his/her computer?God created fossils to test our faith.
* * *
My favorite LBC sermons:
True Christians are Perfect!
True Christian™ Love.
Salvation™ made Easy!
You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
God HATES Rational Thinking!
True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.Comment
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Re: What are you offended by right now?
Don't take a tone with me, Corky!Originally posted by XkazzoX View Post
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Re: What are you offended by right now?
I'm using an iphone.Comment
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Re: What are you offended by right now?
Its your lucky day, sport!Originally posted by XkazzoX View PostComment
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Re: What are you offended by right now?
I'm offended by my new username.Comment
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Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!Comment
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Re: What are you offended by right now?
The 80's
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Re: What are you offended by right now?
Stop your hand-flapping and get right with Christ already!Originally posted by XspazzoX View Post
We can do this the easy way (James 1:5)... or the hard way (Proverbs 26:3). Your choice, buddy!
And just to keep this thread on track, I am offended on Jesus' behalf by your recalcitrance.Comment
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Re: What are you offended by right now?
Howdy I am watching the television set jeopardy program and they gotta black woman on it and they gotta quare fella thats touched in the head and I can't tell if the quare fella is a guy or a gal but he really makes me mad whatever he is. Have a nice day.
Increase BooneComment
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Re: What are you offended by right now?
Your unsaved opinions don't add up to a bucket of warm spit in Christ's loving eyes. Go pester the Methodists.Originally posted by XspazzboX View Post
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!Comment
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