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  • Witch Hammer
    True Christian™
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2006
    • 1717

    #976
    Re: What are you offended by right now?

    Originally posted by Ex-Primordial Dwarf View Post
    Daisy Duck is a slut, too.

    So is your mother!

    Comment

    • MitzaLizalor
      Completely CRAZY for the Lord
      True Christian™
      • Sep 2010
      • 14145

      #977
      Re: What are you offended by right now?


      In this "story" we find the usual crew in some Eden farce. The supposed creator and sustainer of life is represent as a malevolent serpent [pictured top left]. Its spokesperson has been wired with "special" antennæ to receive messages from the sky and whatever the serpent says is relayed through him and whatever he says becomes Law. This involves toxic plants and killing people. I was particularly revolted by that. People should take responsibility for their own actions it was insinuated towards the end, and care for themselves; that's what we call freedom.

      Well, Captain Kirk might call it freedom but God does not. He has told us so. Therefore I know not to think of any such "story" as representing freedom either.

      Apart from the obvious portrayal of God's explanation about how He created life as some sort of depersonalised scheme enacted by mindless zombies receiving magic from a source they were unable to identify (other than as VAAL), this idea that we can produce freedom for ourselves by overturning deluded belief systems and applying reason to "facts" directly contradicts Scripture.
      JOHN 8
      21
      [Jesus speaking] I go my way, and ye shall seek me, and shall die in your sins: whither I go, ye cannot come..
      23 ..Ye are from beneath; I am from above: ye are of this world; I am not of this world.
      32 ..Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.
      34b-35 Whosoever committeth sin is the servant of sin. And the servant abideth not in the house for ever: but the Son abideth ever.
      36 If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.
      KJV .. look up

      Right there. Jesus spells it out. Freedom is not gained by taking responsibility or by looking after ourselves any more than a slave is set free by applying logic to imaginary facts and deciding to redeem all the other slaves by skulking off together and dreaming up laws for themselves. That is not how redemption works. And without Redemption how can there ever be Salvation?

      Comment

      • Mrs. Mary Whitford
        Ladies of Landover Senior VP
        One of the Truest Christians™ Ever
        Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
        True Christian™
        • Dec 2006
        • 12414

        #978
        Re: What are you offended by right now?

        I'm offended by the fact that we don't currently have an American president.

        I'm offended that sodomites are trying to destroy my marriage.

        I'm offended that LIEberals keep trying to malign Donald Trump's majestic mane.

        I'm offended by people who reject 's temporary sacrifice.

        I'm offended that Justin Bieber hasn't been arrested or deported yet to keep him from luring young girls into letsbemenism. (How's that "immunity" for immigrants working for you now, Hussein Obummer??!!?)

        I'm offended that we finally have Republican majorities in both houses and they haven't yet repealed the unbiblical and unconstitutional Thirteenth Amendment.
        Posted via Prayer

        1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
        Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

        Blogging for CHRIST!
        Witnessing for GOD on YouTube!
        All a-Twitter for Salvation!
        Bringing Jesus to MySpace!
        On FIRE for the Lord on Facebook!
        My Ladies of Landover profile!

        Comment

        • Freddy Osborne
          True Christian™
          True Christian™
          • Dec 2011
          • 538

          #979
          Re: What are you offended by right now?

          Activist judges who hate Jesus...



          "WESTAMPTON, N.J. — A man who leaned over a plate of sizzling fajitas to pray can't sue a Westampton restaurant because the dish burned him, an appellate court ruled Wednesday."


          And the same restaurant that is named after and prominently promotes forbidden fruit...
          Attached Files
          "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven." (Matthew 5:16)

          "But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery." (Matthew 5:32)

          Comment

          • Impala 67
            Unsaved trash, inbred eskimo
            • Mar 2015
            • 38

            #980
            Re: What are you offended by right now?

            Football and sport in general.

            Only stupid ungodly people think Football are played with there hands.
            The only reason for sport is to shower together and that can't be good for anyone.
            In former times only Mostlems took a bath and see where it got them.
            True holymen never had contact with water on there body.

            JHL
            Filth on Earth can never be washed away without Christ.
            A whip for the horse, a bridle for the ass, and a rod for the fool's back. Proverbs 26:3

            Comment

            • Witch Hammer
              True Christian™
              True Christian™
              • Sep 2006
              • 1717

              #981
              Re: What are you offended by right now?

              Originally posted by Impala 67 View Post
              Football and sport in general.

              Only stupid ungodly people think Football are played with there hands.
              The only reason for sport is to shower together and that can't be good for anyone.
              In former times only Mostlems took a bath and see where it got them.
              True holymen never had contact with water on there body.

              JHL
              Filth on Earth can never be washed away without Christ.
              I am offended by your Godless nation!

              But don't fear, eventually it will become a suburb of the Christian Empire when Jeb Bush annexes the rest of the world and forces conversion at gunpoint in '16. On that day, I will call you Brother!

              Comment

              • Impala 67
                Unsaved trash, inbred eskimo
                • Mar 2015
                • 38

                #982
                Re: What are you offended by right now?

                Originally posted by Witch Hammer View Post
                I am offended by your Godless nation!

                But don't fear, eventually it will become a suburb of the Christian Empire when Jeb Bush annexes the rest of the world and forces conversion at gunpoint in '16. On that day, I will call you Brother!
                I can't imagine why you call us Godless; We have all the Nordic Gods and then some. But our true Lord is Jesus.
                Dont confuse us Danes with the Swedish people we all know are the spawn of Antichrist.

                JHL.
                My sheeps are ripe for slaughter in the name of God.
                A whip for the horse, a bridle for the ass, and a rod for the fool's back. Proverbs 26:3

                Comment

                • Basilissa
                  South of the Border outreach program
                  True Christian™
                   
                  • Mar 2013
                  • 12908

                  #983
                  Re: What are you offended by right now?

                  For a year or so, I've been frequently traveling through my beautiful state of Michigan. During my trips, I usually listen to audio Bible read by our own Pastor Ezekiel , but sometimes I also tune in to one of the 1001 NPR stations - just to know what the enemy is buzzing about. Now, I am offended by an old woman, named Diane Rehm, who hosts a talk show just at the time I'm usually driving. This woman should retire or die already, her voice is slow and shaky, and just the sound of it puts me to sleep. Nothing wrong with that - when I fell asleep, Jesus takes the wheel - but think of all the heathen drivers on the road, who don't have Jesus as their designated driver. This old woman is going to cause some serious accidents!
                  God created fossils to test our faith.

                  * * *

                  My favorite LBC sermons:
                  True Christians are Perfect!
                  True Christian™ Love.
                  Salvation™ made Easy!
                  You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
                  Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
                  Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
                  Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
                  Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
                  The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
                  Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
                  God HATES Rational Thinking!
                  True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

                  Comment

                  • WilliamJenningsBryan
                    True Christian™
                     
                    • Jan 2007
                    • 9384

                    #984
                    Re: What are you offended by right now?

                    Originally posted by Basilissa View Post
                    For a year or so, I've been frequently traveling through my beautiful state of Michigan. During my trips, I usually listen to audio Bible read by our own Pastor Ezekiel , but sometimes I also tune in to one of the 1001 NPR stations - just to know what the enemy is buzzing about. Now, I am offended by an old woman, named Diane Rehm, who hosts a talk show just at the time I'm usually driving. This woman should retire or die already, her voice is slow and shaky, and just the sound of it puts me to sleep. Nothing wrong with that - when I fell asleep, Jesus takes the wheel - but think of all the heathen drivers on the road, who don't have Jesus as their designated driver. This old woman is going to cause some serious accidents!
                    Jesus has become upset with the tedious, tiresome and whining of her LIEbrual biases and has given her a warning - Spasmodic Dysphonia.

                    NPR's Diane Rehm and Spasmodic Dysphonia

                    Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
                    brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
                    ...and get off my lawn
                    sigpic

                    Comment

                    • Billy Bob Jenkins
                      Family Man of the Year 2010-2013
                      About as Straight and Manly as you can get
                      Hates anal sex. And trees.
                      True Christian™
                      • May 2010
                      • 8337

                      #985
                      Re: What are you offended by right now?

                      Originally posted by WilliamJenningsBryan View Post
                      Jesus has become upset with the tedious, tiresome and whining of her LIEbrual biases and has given her a warning - Spasmodic Dysphonia.
                      I am offended by spastics of every sort, since they are all mooching off the system, which feeds the big government coffers and puts power into the hands of mega-rich old money liberals. I pray that Diane Rehm finds Jesus so that we won't have to listen to her garbled rhetoric praising Obama and fascist community activist groups.
                      The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!

                      Comment

                      • Miguel De Morillo
                        Unsaved trash
                        • Apr 2015
                        • 34

                        #986
                        Re: What are you offended by right now?

                        Scrying is offensive to me !!

                        Scrying, also known as crystal gazing or crystallomancy, allows one to see psychic visions or impressions in a particular medium, such as a crystal ball or polished black surface such as black obsidian or golden obsidian or a scrying mirror. Scrying is a powerful psychic tool. It can bring hidden knowledge and clairvoyant ability and can act as a portal to other planes of existence.
                        Scrying is the art of gazing into or upon a crystal (or a dark mirror-like surface such as polished obsidian), allowing the physical eyes to relax, and letting the inner psychic eyes open to receive desired visions or information. Scrying tools allow one to achieve the state of mind required for entering trance, acting as a focal point for visualization, which can become a doorway into the astral plane. Scrying allows communication with higher realms, the subconscious self, and access to Akashic Record (which contains the record of the soul, and information about All That Is, All That Has Been, and All That Will Be). Accessing the Akashic Record can offer a vast source of timeless knowledge.
                        This space is reserved for posting KJV Scripture ONLY. --ADMIN

                        Comment

                        • Witch Hammer
                          True Christian™
                          True Christian™
                          • Sep 2006
                          • 1717

                          #987
                          Re: What are you offended by right now?

                          Originally posted by Miguel De Morillo View Post
                          Scrying is offensive to me !!

                          Scrying, also known as crystal gazing or crystallomancy, allows one to see psychic visions or impressions in a particular medium, such as a crystal ball or polished black surface such as black obsidian or golden obsidian or a scrying mirror. Scrying is a powerful psychic tool. It can bring hidden knowledge and clairvoyant ability and can act as a portal to other planes of existence.
                          Scrying is the art of gazing into or upon a crystal (or a dark mirror-like surface such as polished obsidian), allowing the physical eyes to relax, and letting the inner psychic eyes open to receive desired visions or information. Scrying tools allow one to achieve the state of mind required for entering trance, acting as a focal point for visualization, which can become a doorway into the astral plane. Scrying allows communication with higher realms, the subconscious self, and access to Akashic Record (which contains the record of the soul, and information about All That Is, All That Has Been, and All That Will Be). Accessing the Akashic Record can offer a vast source of timeless knowledge.
                          You seem to be very well versed in the demonic art of scrying....Warlock!

                          Comment

                          • GOD=life
                            WARNING: Do not attempt to debate. You will lose horribly.
                            True Christian™
                            • Jan 2010
                            • 3263

                            #988
                            Re: What are you offended by right now?

                            I suppose this is the time period to be offended by... drum-roll please... so-called Christians.

                            It is pretty offensive in general how these liberal wackos keep pretending to follow our Lord, Jesus Christ, and yet blatantly ignore almost everything that God has taught us.

                            It's just a bit hard to digest right now. Praying does help of course, but it still makes me sick to my stomach. Normally they are fluffy-bunny Christians, but now they are, quite literally, Easter-bunny Christians.

                            Excuse me while I throw up.
                            I take my orders from Jesus H. Christ, supernatural born US citizen

                            Be wary of false Kumbaya Christians who use a highlighter and scissors to read the Bible. God wants us to read the lines, not between the lines. False Christians will go to Hell:
                            Matthew 7:22
                            Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
                            Matthew 7:23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

                            Asking a Christian to prove God exists is like asking him to prove his phone rings because yours doesn't. Make that call yourself! Dial 0800-get-on-your-knees-and-pray.

                            Comment

                            • Mary Etheldreda
                              Gushing for Jesus
                               
                              • Sep 2011
                              • 23765

                              #989
                              Re: What are you offended by right now?

                              Like the so-called Christians who combine Jesus with Yoga to prepare for Easter?


                              Body In Prayer

                              Body in Prayer is a multi-sensory so-called Christian Meditation on the Stations of the Cross using Yoga Positions.





                              Are you KIDDING me?!?
                              Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

                              Comment

                              • Witch Hammer
                                True Christian™
                                True Christian™
                                • Sep 2006
                                • 1717

                                #990
                                Re: What are you offended by right now?


                                The Savior™ looks like He's hunkering down to take a violent, unseemly crap!

                                As offensive as this scene is, it heartens me know that Jesus will laugh last...and best!

                                Comment

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