Christian woman sneaks article onto The Onion

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Folks, I don't know how this happened, but I believe this article may have been written by a True Christian(tm) woman. Just look at this clip:

At the end of the day, I'm just trying to lead a good Christian life. That means going to church on Sunday, following the Ten Commandments, and fighting what I believe to be a sexual abomination through a series of petty actions and bitter comments made under my breath. Sure, I sometimes wish God would just reach into my heart and give me the ability to treat all people with, at the very least, the decency and respect they deserve as human beings. But unfortunately for that new couple who moved in three houses down, He hasn't yet.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have God's work to do.

How did she get it into The Onion? I'm impressed!

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Christian woman sneaks article onto The Onion

What an excellent find Reverend and what a refreshing change from the usual claptrap. I think that this woman's simple approach to God has to be the right one and I wish to shake her husband by the hand for having such a wonderful, God-Fearing wife.

I particularly like this:

I'm sorry, but you can't possibly ask me to explain everything God does. He works in mysterious ways, remember?

[Calculus]

Re: Christian woman sneaks article onto The Onion

Hahahahahahaha

you really believe that a christian woman wrote that?

Check your source dummy. It's from the Onion. It's a satire news network. It's making fun of Christians. What a retard.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Christian woman sneaks article onto The Onion

Hahahahahahaha

you really believe that a christian woman wrote that?

Check your source dummy. It's from the Onion. It's a true religion news network. It's making fun of Christians. What a retard.

Thanks for taking the time out of your busy schedule of taking drugs and chronic masturbation to drop by God's favorite forum and spew hatred. The Holy Bible says that we are actually Blessed by your persecution. Shout Glory!!

Matthew 5:10 Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
5:11 Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.
5:12 Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: Christian woman sneaks article onto The Onion

How is it making fun of Christians if it just says what we all think? That makes as much sense as me writing an article about atheists and saying "I don't believe in God!". How is that funny? It's not because atheists all think that way.

We all know about the Onion and its satire. But, I don't think that piece is meant to be humorous in any way. I didn't laugh.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Christian woman sneaks article onto The Onion

Hahahahahahaha

you really believe that a christian woman wrote that?

Check your source dummy. It's from the Onion. It's making fun of Christians. What a retard.

Let's see. What does the TITLE of this THREAD say?

"Christian woman sneaks article onto The Onion".



Were you born a retarded, or did your Mommy drop you on your head on a daily basis?

[eliot mayfield]

Re: Christian woman sneaks article onto The Onion

What is the onion? I have never seen it. The only onions I know make you cry. I guess it makes Jesus cry and people think it's funny.
GOD DAMN THEM TO HELL, please.

[Remy Lebeau]

Re: Christian woman sneaks article onto The Onion

Hahahahahahaha

you really believe that a christian woman wrote that?

Check your source dummy. It's from the Onion. It's a true religion news network. It's making fun of Christians. What a retard.

The irony of such a statement is mind numbing. Yeah, we're the dummies... for pointing that she got a serious article into a facetious magazine. I'm glad you took the time to point that out to us . Now don't you have better unsaved things to do like peeping through your mother's keyhole while she undresses?