The Hankster is Backster

[Hank]

Yes I'm back, in God's favorite town Freehold.

Was nice running into a few of you today, I know I haven't been around for a while (just over 9 months to be exact). Hope to see more of you this Sunday at Church (not the Platinum level tithers, I'm not allowed in that part but may see you good folks later in the carpark).

I missed you all so much, I'd really rather not talk about where I've been as it is still under Pastoral Investigation and the case is open. I wouldn't want to say anything that may incriminate me and jeopordize my Salvation(tm).

Have I missed out on much? How is everyone?

(PS: Pastor Ezekiel Sir, I installed that Pastoral Control Software on my computer like you asked and I promise to check in each morning for my alcohol testing at the office. I also made triplicate copies of my passport and visited that VD clinic, they said they're faxing the documents as soon as they're ready, sir.)

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: The Hankster is Backster

Yes I'm back, in God's favorite town Freehold

That is great news! Obama's impeachment can not be far away now.

[James Hutchins]

Re: The Hankster is Backster

Hank, glad to see you kept your promise and posted today. Shame about your limp.

[James Dewitt]

Re: The Hankster is Backster

Hank I have heard from a reliable source that you where being held captive by a roving band of Lesbos. Son tell me it ain't so.
Please tell me that they did not force you to procreate them.

[Brother Enoch]

Re: The Hankster is Backster

Hank I have heard from a reliable source that you where being held captive by a roving band of Lesbos. Son tell me it ain't so.
Please tell me that they did not force you to procreate them.

Can you imagine what the offspring of these two would look like?








(Yes, the pictures are to scale)

[Gabriel Reproba]

Re: The Hankster is Backster

Glad to have you back. I must admit the rumor mills were swirling, but if any of it is true, I KNOW you will ask Jesus for forgiveness and be cleared into heaven immediately! (Even if you did kill those hookers in Mexico, which I don't think you did.) that's the beauty of God's law! SHOUT GLORY!

[BelieverInGod]

Re: The Hankster is Backster

Okay, I can't even quote the pictures you put up. The thought is a nightmare.



I think I'm going to go chop wood to the point of exhaustion. That should get it out of my head.

[Hank]

Re: The Hankster is Backster

of all the rumors going around (its been a bit of a case of gook whispers lately) I can say most are somewhat false and others might be true if I could remember them.

Lets put it all aside, the Pastors have set me up with a rehabilitation and repentancy plan. The limp I have is because of the time I passed out on the Chinny laundry shop in cancun when I was hiding from the police, I think I fell asleep with my leg in a funny state and unfortunately some of the nerve endings died. The doctors coulsnt say when I can walk again. That is what really happened. It had nothing to do with my rehabilitation and repentancy session in the basement of Landover Security Headquarters. Whatever you heard about that is a lie.

Anyway I want to put it all behind me. All in all I went on a sinful binge, killed 2 people (they didnt matter as they were harlots), ran over some pets in my car, robbed a few late night businesses, caused an accident when running from the police where an entire family of nigras died, stole and burnt out about a dozen family cars etc. Nothing matters as Jesus has forgiven me and I'm free and as pure as the driven snow in His eyes. God bless you all and let this be the last time I ever talk about these things as it is now in the past.

So, I heard there's going to be a welcome party for me at Church with some cookies and tea, little birdy told me.