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The uppity Marxist witch known as Lumpy has disrespected me and Christ by claiming I don't have the right to touch her. Of course, militant Communist liberals like her don't believe anyone should have any rights at all (unless they're talking about special rights for queers and the like), but it's still rare for one of them to openly admit it. Anyway, I thought I'd settle this the democratic way, and let the public decide. If Lumpy keeps on claiming I don't have the right to batter her into a coma after this, it will be definitive proof that she hates Freedom. So cast your vote now!
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35Yes, of course.0%17No, I hate God, men, and America.0%6Yes, but don't beat Lumpy because she's a disgusting, masochistic hussy who would derive pleasure from it. Also, you wouldn't be able to get her horrific, flower-wilting stench off your fists for weeks.0%2Yes, but first preserve her posts so that they can be used to torture people in Gitmo.0%10O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
- Catholic perversion throughout history
- Does it matter how we praise the Lord?
- How the King James Bible Saved me from anal sex!
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity. -
Re: Do I have the right to beat Lumpy senseless?
She's pretty senseless as it is, so I fail to see any harm if you do.This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.
Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance
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Re: Do I have the right to beat Lumpy senseless?
Some need hands on direction in order to see the horrible error of their ways!Gather around so that I can read to you from my book of TRUTH. Genesis thru Revelations....Pick one!
Luke 12:5- But I will forewarn you whom ye shall fear: Fear him, which after he hath killed hath power to cast into hell; yea, I say unto you, Fear him.Comment
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Re: Do I have the right to beat Lumpy senseless?
Bro Temper, as much as we agree on other issues, I must vote "No" on this one. You see, she's already senseless.
A-MEN!Last edited by SUV; 07-02-2008, 11:07 PM.Comment
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Re: Do I have the right to beat Lumpy senseless?
If the spirit of GOD compels you to beat her, then beat her. It's between you and GOD.sigpic
The eyes of the LORD are in every place, beholding the evil and the good.
- Proverbs 15:3
CHILDREN'S STORY: TIMMY ON TRIAL
CHRISTIAN ADVICE AND MESSAGES OF HOPE! GOD'S GREATEST HITS!
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Re: Do I have the right to beat Lumpy senseless?
I remain confident that, with the power of God and Landover, she could be persuaded to be beaten senseless.sigpic
Author of such illuminating essays as,
“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.Comment
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Re: Do I have the right to beat Lumpy senseless?
The part I really Hate© is how she keeps lifting her leg to pee all over our Godly board:
Just where does she think she is? That this is the wall where the guys in the 'Kings" chapter of the KJV hang out "eating of their own dung and drinking of their own piss"?
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Re: Do I have the right to beat Lumpy senseless?
Brother T, you are nothing if not the very picture of True Christian™ compassion. Another man might have just waded in and given her the beating of her life, in an attempt to herd her closer to Salvation©. The fact that you have offered the concept for a public discussion and vote demontrates how we bend over backwards to be just and fair in our dealings with unsaved scum.
I of course voted the only righteous choice.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!Comment
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Re: Do I have the right to beat Lumpy senseless?
Brother TemperTantrum, no matter how your "vote" comes out, the fact remains that you do not have the right to touch me without my permission, much less beat me. Secular law says so, and I think that if Ieshua were alive today, he would agree.
Thumpy, I don't know why you're so fond of that picture, or why you've conviced yourself that it's me, but I assure you I'm not the Willendorf body type. But if believing that picture is me helps you to cope with your own body image issues without resorting to more plastic surgery, then go right ahead.Now that Obama has won the election there will be big black cock for every white woman!!!Comment
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Re: Do I have the right to beat Lumpy senseless?
Proof positive that liberals and so-called "Democrats" have nothing but contempt for real democracy! I can't wait until I can knock your teeth out for being an enemy of Freedom. When America rises up en masse to reject Barack Osama, will you just pretend that he's the President anyway?Originally posted by Lumpy View PostO Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
- Catholic perversion throughout history
- Does it matter how we praise the Lord?
- How the King James Bible Saved me from anal sex!
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.Comment
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Re: Do I have the right to beat Lumpy senseless?
Originally posted by Brother Temperance View Post
Even in a democracy, some things are not subject to a vote. Beating up another person is one of those things. You don't have that right - period.
And after Obama said he wants to expand Shrubya's "faith-based initiative" he lost my respect. The federal government should not be writing checks to churches.Now that Obama has won the election there will be big black cock for every white woman!!!Comment
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Re: Do I have the right to beat Lumpy senseless?
I am still trying to recover from some of the Un-Christian language that Lumpy uses on our forum. As a senior pastor, I have an obligation to watch over God's favorite forum, so I pretty much have to read Lumpy's sexually deviate postings. But I am still a good Christian gal and it just breaks my heart! I know Jesus will put a kick me sign on Lumpy's back and send her straight to Hell, where she will be sodomized by Satan's barbed tally-whacker!Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.Comment
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Re: Do I have the right to beat Lumpy senseless?
Originally posted by Glendora Christianson View Post
Why are you obsessed with demonic penises?Now that Obama has won the election there will be big black cock for every white woman!!!Comment
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