[kikirnw]

Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian(TM) Woman

Dear Kiki,

It is well known that Atheist, especially the men, are hard core perverts. All serial rapist killers have all ben atheists. Doubtless he is waiting until you are in too deep before his true nature comes out. When he starts asking for you to put on a chicken costume it will be too late! Run now. Doubtless right now he is polluting himself on the internets to some disturbing fantasy about women getting their cars stuck in the mud while playing with his surgical knife collection or something like it.

wow, If I was ever scared to be by myself for the rest of my life, you sure cured that. I think I'll remain single. As of now he is just a friend,though.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian(TM) Woman

Why of course Pastor.
BUT I would need a Godly man to brandish a Chopper whilst chasing me around the Bedroom.
Can you suggest someone to do such a thing?

Hmm, we have to be careful about this , we don’t to get a sicko involved in this by mistake. I suppose I’ll have to do it.

[Talitha]

Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian(TM) Woman

I just had an awful thought!

Deuteronomy 4:
16 Lest ye corrupt yourselves, and make you a graven image, the similitude of any figure, the likeness of male or female, The likeness of any beast that is on the earth, the likeness of any winged fowl that flieth in the air,

Chickens don't really fly very far.............. do they??

[Enobarbus]

Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian(TM) Woman

I just had an awful thought!

Deuteronomy 4:
16 Lest ye corrupt yourselves, and make you a graven image, the similitude of any figure, the likeness of male or female, The likeness of any beast that is on the earth, the likeness of any winged fowl that flieth in the air,

Chickens don't really fly very far.............. do they??

As I recall they usually have their wings clipped, so they can't. Unclipped, I don't know what they might be able to do. I can't imagine them soaring through the air like eagles or anything like that though...

[Talitha]

Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian(TM) Woman

Hmm, we have to be careful about this , we don’t to get a sicko involved in this by mistake. I suppose I’ll have to do it.

Why thank you Pastor. I'd hate to think I may be defiled by some Atheist Prevert Monkey Worshipper brandishing his unclean Chopper. Will you be bringing your own?

I'll make some room available at the Mansion.

Perhaps we could send some Pictures to Kiki? Make her realise how kind and considerate our Pastors are?

Oh, Pastor Eno, thank you for the Biblical advice. Silly me, I should have also realised that the costume isn't a "Graven Image".

[Hairy Homer]

Warrior, your coming here has stirred up the piety among our True Christian™ sisters -- And I'm wondering if this isn't the time to re-introduce Friday night girl-on-girl liturgical wrestling. Friday night matches used to be a regular part of our weekly worship services, but after Moon smacked the cubits out of Mrs. Rogers, we had some trouble finding a suitable challenger for Moon's crown, and the Lord suggested that we should put the Wrestling Ministry on hold, while He directed us in other areas. But I think I hear His voice STRONGLY commanding us to schedule a match for this Friday evening, starting at 7 pm in Fellowship Hall, between the wrestlin angel, herself, Sister Talitha and the bodaciously blessed, BTB. It'll be a holy event. Warrior, if you've never before witnessed the power of girl-on-girl liturgical wrestling, then you're in for a blessing from the Lord.

Is this event open to the unsaved Brother Larry? Would it not be a good way to bring the Lord's blessings to outsiders? I could bring a few friends who'd pay a buck or two to get in. As long as I get a free ticket myself. I'll personally guarantee that none of them will try to steal baptist babies from the parking lot.

wow, If I was ever scared to be by myself for the rest of my life, you sure cured that. I think I'll remain single. As of now he is just a friend,though.

Take no notice of Bobby-Joe, Kiki. He is grossly exaggerating. I guarantee you that few athiests or secular huminists are serial killers. That silly story about the baptist baby was all blown out of proportion too. You are in much more danger from the bapwits or witches like Rachael and Alie. Bobby-Joe is just jealous because our chicken suits are flasher than his.

FYI; all True Christian™ men are as studly as Brother WIC. If you accept Jesus as your personal Savior, you will have access to such Masculine Manliness, just as I do.

Also, if you act now, you may qualify for a free Playstation 3!

Do you? You have access to a lot of Masculine Manliness? Are you sure that is what you really meant to say, Pastor Zeke?

He is a good wealthy heathen atheist who wants me for more than my body. He accepts me for me and enjoys my point of views on all things, and no I have not had um.....done anything a woman shouldn't.

"You haven't done anything a woman shouldn't", I wonder if he sees it the same way? Take no notice of these xians. I have it on good authority that most of their avatars aren't of them anyway. In reality the lot of them look like that old fool Enobarbus's avatar. Ugly as hell.

Why thank you Pastor. I'd hate to think I may be defiled by some Atheist Prevert Monkey Worshipper brandishing his unclean Chopper.

If you really look anything like your new avatar it's a distinct possibility. Do you still have your school uniform?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian(TM) Woman

You filthy hippie! Have you ever heard of spam? You are about to get a whole pile of infractions for forcing your imbecility on this Godly forum.

Go take a bath, get a haircut and get a job. Or better yet go join the Army and they'll take care of all three, plus give you a chance to stop wasting oxygen.

[SUV]

Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian(TM) Woman

(I want in on this....)

I still have my Home-school uniform! It is below knee-length, as is Proper, and has a huge, Church-Approved lace collar!

[Talitha]

Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian(TM) Woman

If you really look anything like your new avatar it's a distinct possibility. Do you still have your school uniform?

Well, Waddya know, the Hairy Homer trying to Hit on a True Christian™ Lady.

Listen Flea Bait, come more than 100yards near to me and I'll have my Security take you out as a Terrorist.
Go Get a wash, Get straight and Get with The Lord.

I may consider Saving you too.

............. and yes, I do still have my School Uniform.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian(TM) Woman

Why thank you Pastor. I'd hate to think I may be defiled by some Atheist Prevert Monkey Worshipper brandishing his unclean Chopper. Will you be bringing your own?

Sadly I don't, the last one got rusty and with all the false accusations flying around I don't need people misinterpreting rust. So on the advance of my lawyer I destroyed by old one. However it is easy enough buy a new one.

I'll make some room available at the Mansion.

Perhaps we could send some Pictures to Kiki? Make her realise how kind and considerate our Pastors are?

Excellent thought. Maybe this will help Kiki see the depravity innate in all atheists and open herself deepest parts to HIM.

[Hairy Homer]

Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian(TM) Woman

(I want in on this....)

I still have my Home-school uniform! It is below knee-length, as is Proper, and has a huge, Church-Approved lace collar!

Excellent! Just the ticket! I can pick uniforms of any type from the local drama society who hires them our. One of my favourites is a Rasputin costume. Have you ever played the game: Me Rasputin; you Queen?

[Hairy Homer]

Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian(TM) Woman

Well, Waddya know, the Hairy Homer trying to Hit on a True Christian™ Lady.

Listen Flea Bait, come more than 100yards near to me and I'll have my Security take you out as a Terrorist.
Go Get a wash, Get straight and Get with The Lord.

I may consider Saving you too.

............. and yes, I do still have my School Uniform.

I see sister, I see. I can read between the lines. You have a recurring fantasy of being a schoolgirl abducted by handsome terroists!

[OnYourKnees]

Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian(TM) Woman

I see sister, I see. I can read between the lines. You have a recurring fantasy of being a schoolgirl abducted by handsome terroists!

What part would you play in that fantasy, exactly?

The homeless man who witnesses the event?

[Talitha]

Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian(TM) Woman

I see sister, I see. I can read between the lines. You have a recurring fantasy of being a schoolgirl abducted by handsome terroists!

I have no need of your irrational fantasies Homer.

The only thing Terrorists are good for is target practise in preparation for this years Wiccan Hunt.
The only thing Homers are good for is target practise in preparation for this years Wiccan Hunt.

I'll give you a 30 second head start as a gesture of True Christian™ Goodwill.
I suggest you start running.