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  • Pastor Ezekiel
    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
     
    • Sep 2006
    • 78555

    #31
    Re: LOL ( Ladies of Landover)

    I'd stay away from the Russian girls.

    They look sweet when they're young, but they get fat and sprout mustaches by the time they're 30.
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

    Comment

    • James Dewitt
      #63 on Forbes'...but #1 in Jesus's Heart
      • Jan 2010
      • 6267

      #32
      Re: LOL ( Ladies of Landover)

      Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
      I'd stay away from the Russian girls.

      They look sweet when they're young, but they get fat and sprout mustaches by the time they're 30.
      How sad, I am trying to expand my search globally. American women can be high maintenance. Any suggestions are gladly accepted. Swedish maybe?

      Comment

      • handmaiden
        Is a good, decent True Christian™ lady
        True Christian™
        • May 2010
        • 11329

        #33
        Re: LOL ( Ladies of Landover)

        Originally posted by James Dewitt View Post
        How sad, I am trying to expand my search globally. American women can be high maintenance. Any suggestions are gladly accepted. Swedish maybe?
        Do you KNOW how liberal a country Sweden is?! Coincidentualy, do you know how high their suicide rate is?



        You should consider an Italian girl. They're mouthy, but they know how to take a punch.


        Informingly Yours,

        Handmaiden
        His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

        Guns For God and the Economy

        Comment

        • BelieverInGod
          Fourm Member
          Forum Member
          • Feb 2010
          • 9269

          #34
          Re: LOL ( Ladies of Landover)

          Originally posted by James Dewitt View Post
          How sad, I am trying to expand my search globally. American women can be high maintenance. Any suggestions are gladly accepted. Swedish maybe?
          Perhaps you need to look deeper into the Bible belt? Louisiana, Mississippi, Kansas, or even Oklahoma?
          Drama queen

          Comment

          • James Dewitt
            #63 on Forbes'...but #1 in Jesus's Heart
            • Jan 2010
            • 6267

            #35
            Re: LOL ( Ladies of Landover)

            Originally posted by handmaiden View Post
            Do you KNOW how liberal a country Sweden is?! Coincidentualy, do you know how high their suicide rate is?
            You should consider an Italian girl. They're mouthy, but they know how to take a punch.


            Informingly Yours,

            Handmaiden
            My soon to be ex-wife was a dago, no thanks. All of them are papist.

            Originally posted by BelieverInGod View Post
            Perhaps you need to look deeper into the Bible belt? Louisiana, Mississippi, Kansas, or even Oklahoma?
            Oklahoma and Kansas maybe, the other two I am not sure of . There is a strong possibility of a nigra in the wood pile, If ya know what I mean.

            Comment

            • MsPhoenixFire
              Unsaved trash
              • Oct 2009
              • 31

              #36
              Re: LOL ( Ladies of Landover)

              God wants women to have children at a young age, why else would womens fertility start dropping at the age of 25?



              I disagree, I'm almost 35 and am still as fertile as I was as a teen. In fact I just (sadly) miscarried my third pregnancy.

              Just to inform I have two children, Only been pregnant three times, Third ended in miscarriage.

              Comment

              • Nobar King
                Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
                Christ's Guardian
                True Christian™
                • Sep 2007
                • 23748

                #37
                Re: LOL ( Ladies of Landover)

                God wants women to have children at a young age, why else would womens fertility start dropping at the age of 25?
                Originally posted by MsPhoenixFire View Post
                I disagree, I'm almost 35 and am still as fertile as I was as a teen. In fact I just (sadly) miscarried my third pregnancy.
                If you need a course on the difference between fertility and infertility, feel free to pm me in the evenings, preferably before 7:00.
                May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

                Comment

                • Cranky Old Man
                  Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
                  You kids get off his lawn!
                   
                  • Jan 2010
                  • 22363

                  #38
                  Re: LOL ( Ladies of Landover)

                  Originally posted by MsPhoenixFire View Post
                  I'm almost 35 and am still as fertile as I was as a teen.
                  In fact I just (sadly) miscarried my third pregnancy.
                  As Brother Nobar already pointed out your tiny stupid brain does not comprehend what fertility means. Fertility means that you actually get children. Failing to get children is not fertility.

                  You clearly did something to piss God off and you got punished for it. I would advice some serious soul searching to find the cause of this. It can not be too hard since it must have been some serious sins to get punished so severely.
                  5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
                  To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
                  James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

                  Comment

                  • MsPhoenixFire
                    Unsaved trash
                    • Oct 2009
                    • 31

                    #39
                    Re: LOL ( Ladies of Landover)

                    Originally posted by Nobar King View Post
                    If you need a course on the difference between fertility and infertility, feel free to pm me in the evenings, preferably before 7:00.
                    If I needed to know what the difference was I sure would not ask a MAN. Besides, being fertile is to become pregnant, Infertile is NOT to become pregnant. Certainly a MAN knows NOTHING about what either one is about.
                    This post is for Cranky as well. I know a lot more than you dolts.

                    Comment

                    • Cranky Old Man
                      Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
                      You kids get off his lawn!
                       
                      • Jan 2010
                      • 22363

                      #40
                      Re: LOL ( Ladies of Landover)

                      Originally posted by MsPhoenixFire View Post
                      If I needed to know what the difference was I sure would not ask a MAN. Besides, being fertile is to become pregnant, Infertile is NOT to become pregnant. Certainly a MAN knows NOTHING about what either one is about. This post is for Cranky as well. I know a lot more than you dolts.
                      Please take a shovel, go outside and dig up a worm. Look at it. It is way smarter than you will ever be! Failing at getting children is the definition of being infertile. The sound you are hearing now is the worm you just dug up laughing at your stupidity.

                      You might want to read this: 5 Reasons why WOMEN should NEVER be on the Internet!

                      For those few people on the planet who disagree with me on that, you just proved my point!
                      5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
                      To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
                      James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

                      Comment

                      • BelieverInGod
                        Fourm Member
                        Forum Member
                        • Feb 2010
                        • 9269

                        #41
                        Re: LOL ( Ladies of Landover)

                        Originally posted by MsPhoenixFire View Post
                        God wants women to have children at a young age, why else would womens fertility start dropping at the age of 25?



                        I disagree, I'm almost 35 and am still as fertile as I was as a teen. In fact I just (sadly) miscarried my third pregnancy.

                        Just to inform I have two children, Only been pregnant three times, Third ended in miscarriage.
                        Uh.... okay 1. I'm not a man, and 2 I didn't have my first until my 30's. There is no way that you are as fertile at 35 as you were at 17. Oh and miscarriages do count as a form of infertility, why else do infertility experts treat women who tend to have a lot of miscarriages?

                        You do realize it's not a switch right? I said fertility starts dropping at 25, not we all turn 25 and the switch is flipped. By 35 the odds of having a disabled child skyrockets, more proof that God wants us to have children when we are young.
                        Drama queen

                        Comment

                        • theonetheonlyme
                          Unsaved trash, teenaged demon
                          • Jan 2010
                          • 45

                          #42
                          Re: LOL ( Ladies of Landover)

                          Originally posted by Seth Campbell View Post
                          Why else does she need time to "explore the world"? What else is she going to do with her time? Again, I don't have a daughter.




                          According to everything you've said, she was a lousy mother because she was 14. And it's PROPHET (another victim of secular education) unless you're making a profit off of Jesus.

                          God could of easily picked a 30 year old woman if that was his plan now couldn't he. If he wanted us to wait until 30 to have children, that's when we would become fertile. God wants women to have children at a young age, why else would womens fertility start dropping at the age of 25? All of this stuff about waiting to get pregnant is all propaganda put out there by big pharma so that you will then end up spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on fertility when you're in your 30's and desperate to have a baby.
                          exploring the world means learning. learning about dot particals ans the string theory. learning about poetry and history as well as art and molecular nanotechnology. its important to learn and grow as a person before women have a child. mary was a wise woman and had wisdom to pass on to jesus. girls fresh out of jr. high shouldnt be having children because they have no wisdome of the world to offer their children. oh and everyone makes mistakes so dont be judging my education because unlike the 14 yearolds that have children, i got the oppritunity to have one.
                          Rom. 16:17: Now I beseech you, brethren, mark them which cause divisions and offences contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned; and avoid them.

                          Comment

                          • theonetheonlyme
                            Unsaved trash, teenaged demon
                            • Jan 2010
                            • 45

                            #43
                            Re: LOL ( Ladies of Landover)

                            Originally posted by handmaiden View Post
                            First. let me say that I'm sorry about your mom. I'm sure that she appreciate everything that you do for her.

                            I also think that it's great that your work doesn't drain you. When I was younger I wasn't as often drained as I am now. Youthful stamina is a blessing; enjoy while you can.

                            I'm going to disagree with you again that only a person earning money knows how to value it. Hardworking homemakers understand the value of money because they know how far it will go to meet their families' needs. You mentioned that you are going to school and then wrote "you would be suprised" (sic).

                            Well, yes, I am surprised. Someone at your school should take you in hand and teach you how to write more effectively. It's not just a missing letter here or there or even the completely incomprehensible refusal of your entire generation to properly capitialize the first person singular pronoun
                            . . . Okay, now I'm ranting. But based on the above quote and the bulk of that below, you need to learn to puncuate. That, plus learning to capitialize correctly, will make your writing so much easier to understand.




                            There is so much in the paragraph above that is not Biblical. The "wisdom of the world" means nothing to God and it's not likely to be of value in a Christian marriage. And if you want to get closer to God, every True Christian here will tell you the same thing -- read the Bible.

                            Read it. Love it . Live it. ALL of it.

                            That means refraining from sexual activity until you are married. If you are content to wait until you are 30, I am impressed. If it means means submitting to a man completely after a years of deciding things for yourself-- again-- I am impressed. Of course, impressing me means nothing. I could be dead by the time you reach 30. But the word of our Lord endureth forever and, trust me, He is MUCH harder to impress.

                            Exasperately Yours,

                            Handmaiden

                            p.s.I read some other posts of yours that came through after the ones I quoted before. Please, please, please learn to write. Your prose is killing me.
                            hahaha good point. i suppose a family on a budget does know the value of a dollar. i want rased on a budget. i was rased with maids and nannies and all i had do to was cram and study. i do read the bible and a lot of godly lit. i had to for a class and my grandmother read it to me as a child. she alwasy said that i had to be well educated because that was her dream when she came to this country. i'm a first generation american on my mother's side and my father was navajo, but he's gone now. honestly, i didnt know what to to after my mother got sick. i had to do what i could and all i could do is work with electronics. i suppose i learnd children arent a good thing to have at an early age because of the community i saw around my home. i appoligise for the way i write. writing was never my strength and i dont realy go over anything because i find myself doing 4 or 5 things at a time. i dont know how someone could take me by the hand and show me how to write, considering its not high school. i'm just happy i can write a paper when i have too why is god a "he"? i thought god as all and everything, so how could god have a gender?
                            Rom. 16:17: Now I beseech you, brethren, mark them which cause divisions and offences contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned; and avoid them.

                            Comment

                            • Levi Jones
                              Pastor of Hermeneutics and Apologetics
                              Bathed in Christ's Precious Blood
                              Apostle to the Cactuses, Tumbleweeds and Jackrabbits
                               
                              • Jul 2009
                              • 13930

                              #44
                              Re: LOL ( Ladies of Landover)

                              Originally posted by theonetheonlyme View Post
                              hahaha good point. i suppose a family on a budget does know the value of a dollar. i want rased on a budget. i was rased with maids and nannies and all i had do to was cram and study.
                              It shows. It really does.
                              You have obviously done your parents proud. I know I would be proud of a child like you.
                              Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.

                              Comment

                              • Gargamel
                                Confirmed Enemy of God
                                BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                                • May 2010
                                • 11

                                #45
                                Re: LOL ( Ladies of Landover)

                                Originally posted by James Dewitt View Post
                                With in the next week or two I will become single. I am looking for a fine Christian woman to wed.
                                A bit about myself
                                Age 39, Retired.
                                Race, caucasian
                                Sex, male, hetrosexural
                                Finances, you don't need to worry about it.I am loaded.
                                Religion True christian
                                Father two sons , 17 and 19
                                Residence , Freehold Ia.
                                Marital status soon to be divorced.

                                What I am looking for
                                Female, Christian
                                Age 17 to 30( 30 only if fertile)
                                Race, do you need to ask!
                                Hair color, Blond, redhead, brunets are OK too
                                eye color green, blue or brown
                                Ability to bake a pie, cook a meal and clean a home is required.
                                Oh I almost forgot Virgins only need apply. You will be required to have at least 6 boys in the next 8 years.

                                Post a picture of your self, along with proof of age and virginity. All pictures may not be returned.

                                If you are selected for further consideration you must supply a small vile of blood to be tested for STD, and the AID. YIC James Dewitt


                                P.S. all entries will have to pass a background check by the DoF.
                                Loo and behold that even men of utmost faith have committed sins of the flesh and hungers for more.
                                Had not the lord given you a fine wife of your own and granted she you not two healthy children, whom you raised in the name of the lord?
                                Shouldn't this be enough for a man of noble standards and highest faith?
                                You ask of a pure woman whom you can only offer lust and wickedness in return, and thou say that thou will become an unwed man in 7 to 14 days, could thou not provide for thy woman and if thy could why would she be leaving thou side or are thou leaving her side in search of flesh?
                                Not only are thou sinning but thou art also searching for a woman of teen age, ain't nothing sacred to you?

                                Comment

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