[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Modest True Christian lady looking for Godly man

Brother Larry, what's happening about this match? Has Brother BJ got back to you?
Me and Sister Thumper have been limbering up in readiness for the Main Event and we're both itching to do some Grappling.

So THAT's where sister Thumper has been getting off to lately....practicing her ladygrappling with sister Talitha! I was wondering. I thought she was out buying shoes again.....

I trust you ladies are filming every moment of your training sessions. You know tha pastors enjoy viewing those films on a Saturday night...Just to inspire our sermons the next morning.

[Talitha]

Re: Modest True Christian lady looking for Godly man

So THAT's where sister Thumper has been getting off to lately....practicing her ladygrappling with sister Talitha! I was wondering. I thought she was out buying shoes again.....

I trust you ladies are filming every moment of your training sessions. You know tha pastors enjoy viewing those films on a Saturday night...Just to inspire our sermons the next morning.

Of course we have! As always

I have to say, Sister Thumper certainly has a very firm pair of Thighs and makes for a very difficult opponent. If my own body wasn't so perfectly formed I may have got beaten.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Modest True Christian lady looking for Godly man

Brother Larry, what's happening about this match? Has Brother BJ got back to you?
Me and Sister Thumper have been limbering up in readiness for the Main Event and we're both itching to do some Grappling.

~~~~cracks knuckles~~~~~~

Mmmm hummmm! Bring it!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Modest True Christian lady looking for Godly man

Of course we have! As always

I have to say, Sister Thumper certainly has a very firm pair of Thighs and makes for a very difficult opponent. If my own body wasn't so perfectly formed I may have got beaten.

~~~~cracks knuckles~~~~~~

Mmmm hummmm! Bring it!

Ladies, Ladies!! Don't forget to anoint yourselves with olive oil and start the video cameras.

Carry on.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Modest True Christian lady looking for Godly man

Ladies, Ladies!! Don't forget to anoint yourselves with olive oil and start the video cameras.

Carry on.

Do we HAVE to?

Sister Tali is a good 5" taller than me. Remember how hard it was for me the last time to get it out of my hair?

Can't we use whipped cream or something easier to clean up this time?

[Seeker]

Re: Modest True Christian lady looking for Godly man

Well, Seeker.. I am a True Christian man and currently without a wife.
Although I cannot consider marrying you until it's been absolutely certified that you're a True Christian...
Not making the mistake of considering marrying anyone unsaved again.

*ahem* I just got a divorce and it was a biblical one.

But first.. Tell me a little about yourself:

Only in secret.

What's your favourite Bible (KJV only!) verse?

Oh you know this. John 3:16 and Psalms 23 when I feel down.

What dish is your speciality?

Whatever dish you like, I can do for you..

Are you still a virgin, or are you damaged goods?

Please! I was married for years! Of course I am a virgin!

..You don't speak french I hope?

No, but don't get mad because I want to visit just for the Culinary teachings.

[SalvationSeeker]

Re: Modest True Christian lady looking for Godly man

*ahem* I just got a divorce and it was a biblical one.

Hmmm..
Did he cheat on you.. OR DID YOU CHEAT ON HIM?

And I say unto you,
Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery:
And whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
Matthew 19:9

Same would go for women, if the husband is a cheat (He who cheats isn't a True Christian anyways, as fornicators shall not inherit the kingdom.) the divorce is valid.
So.. who cheated on who'm? It was he who cheated on you, I hope?

Only in secret.

Oh you know this. John 3:16 and Psalms 23 when I feel down.

Whatever dish you like, I can do for you..

Well, I suppose it can't hurt to have you come for once..
We can have a little.. prayer.. together atleast.
And then you can cook me dinner.

Please! I was married for years! Of course I am a virgin!

Oh well, with jesus all things are possible so I suppose He COULD restore you.
We'll have to pray for that. A little laying on of hands..

No, but don't get mad because I want to visit just for the Culinary teachings.

Now, what's wrong with wholesome American dishes? Like apple pie or something?
The french eat snails as snacks, and other such disgusting nonsense.
Trust me, I'd know.. I even had a french cook once, tasted one meal then I had to fire him and call the authorites on the illegal alien -
He tried to poison me.




As for marrying you, I don't know..
You sure could use the disciplining, as you seem a little uppity at times. And I'm sure you would make quite a proper baby-maker.
I guess we can discuss the details when you come over..

[Andrew Barrick]

Re: Modest True Christian lady looking for Godly man

I'm still in the running, right? I wouldn't want to miss the grappling for anything.

[Larry Lee]

Re: Modest True Christian lady looking for Godly man

Can't we use whipped cream or something easier to clean up this time?

That would be very fine -- and a worthy tribute to our Lord Jesus Christ.

But where's Sister Elisa? Without her grappling, whipped-cream lathered body undulating in praise to Him who bestows all blessings, what's a Girl-on-Girl Liturgical Wrestling match for?

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Modest True Christian lady looking for Godly man

Ladies, Ladies!! Don't forget to anoint yourselves with olive oil and start the video cameras.

Carry on.

Pastor, if I'm not mistaken it should be start the video camera and then proceed with the olive oil. You often have to be very specific with women.

[Sister Noddy]

Re: Modest True Christian lady looking for Godly man

But where's Sister Elisa? Without her grappling, whipped-cream lathered body undulating in praise to Him who bestows all blessings, what's a Girl-on-Girl Liturgical Wrestling match for?

Why Brother Larry, could be she's met a True Christian™ manly-man already and she's off to be married, while we've been in here talking all this time! (ps ... I hope she picked somebody tall, blonde and handsome, like JESUS!)

[Sister Elisa]

Re: Modest True Christian lady looking for Godly man

I'm still here, Sister Noddy. Though I'm still unwed alas.

The reason for my absence was that my pa thought I needed more bible study time and I was locked in my room for 3 days with only my beloved KJV bible.

I'm back now though, Praise Jesus!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Modest True Christian lady looking for Godly man

I'm still here, Sister Noddy. Though I'm still unwed alas.

The reason for my absence was that my pa thought I needed more bible study time and I was locked in my room for 3 days with only my beloved KJV bible.

I'm back now though, Praise Jesus!

And we're still waiting for your promised Tithe.

[Sister Noddy]

Re: Modest True Christian lady looking for Godly man

I'm still here, Sister Noddy. Though I'm still unwed alas.

The reason for my absence was that my pa thought I needed more bible study time and I was locked in my room for 3 days with only my beloved KJV bible.

I'm back now though, Praise Jesus!

Ooooooh Sister Eliza, poor yoooou! but at least you have the comfort of our beloved KJV Bible during your dark time of penance!

I've been praying the right choice of GODLY Christian™ man comes along for such a pretty girl as you, dear!

[Seeker]

Re: Modest True Christian lady looking for Godly man

Hmmm..
Did he cheat on you.. OR DID YOU CHEAT ON HIM?

I can't believe you would think that about me. Of course not. Apparently he does like his secretary more. Mathew 5:28 and I know I don't need to type it for you.

Well, I suppose it can't hurt to have you come for once..
We can have a little.. prayer.. together atleast.
And then you can cook me dinner. old

A man after my own heart.

Oh well, with jesus all things are possible so I suppose He COULD restore you.
We'll have to pray for that. A little laying on of hands..

I have faith in you and Jesus!

As for marrying you, I don't know..
You sure could use the disciplining, as you seem a little uppity at times. And I'm sure you would make quite a proper baby-maker.
I guess we can discuss the details when you come over..

You are right. We should not rush anything. Do you own a Jet?

Forget the French cooking. I would not want to let you down again. I will stick to greasy hamburgers and fries. But only if you like that...otherwise...

Just say the word........

ETA - sorry for highjacking Elisa's thread. I am sure she will forgive me. After all I think Andrew is a fine catch for her.