[Sister Elisa]

Re: Modest True Christian lady looking for Godly man

I am still looking for a godly women. Any chance you consider Arkansas, or just get our fresh start in godly Freehold Iowa?

I would love to live in Freehold sometime, but I'm not sure if I'm Saved enough to reside in that Godly area.

Maybe one of the pastors could let me know if I am.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Modest True Christian lady looking for Godly man

I would love to live in Freehold sometime, but I'm not sure if I'm Saved enough to reside in that Godly area.

Maybe one of the pastors could let me know if I am.

Not until you Tithe robustly sister. That would be a minimal requirement to visit our exclusive gated community.

Our high-priced joo accountants are still waiting for you to hit that Paypal button. Just find your daddy's credit cards, and we'll set you right up.

[Andrew Barrick]

Re: Modest True Christian lady looking for Godly man

I must say, I've been thinking about settling down and starting a family for myself. Before we get to thinking about marraige though, I've got to make sure you understand the values that a True Christian man holds. Come to my place about 9:00 tonight (with supervision). I've got to get something straight between us.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Modest True Christian lady looking for Godly man

I must say, I've been thinking about settling down and starting a family for myself. Before we get to thinking about marraige though, I've got to make sure you understand the values that a True Christian man holds. Come to my place about 9:00 tonight (with supervision). I've got to get something straight between us.

Nice to see you thinking about baking some soldiers for Christ, Andrew.

I trust you've been keeping your hands out of your pants these days?

[Andrew Barrick]

Re: Modest True Christian lady looking for Godly man

I trust you've been keeping your hands out of your pants these days?

Absolutely. I must say, the *ahem* device that was suggested works wonders in the field of abstinence. Praise!

[Larry Lee]

Re: Modest True Christian lady looking for Godly man

I would love to live in Freehold sometime, but I'm not sure if I'm Saved enough to reside in that Godly area.

Maybe one of the pastors could let me know if I am.

I'd been thinking of organizing a few rounds of Girl-on-Girl Liturgical Wrestling, and now that you'll be visiting Freehold, what better time could there be to schedule a few matches? I'll have to check with Brother Bobby-J, but I think Fellowship Hall is available next Friday night. Would you be agreeable to going a few rounds with Sister Thumper or Sister Talitha? It'll be glorious -- And a fine way for you to meet all the eligible bachelors in the Church, who will be very keen to watch you grapple in your most Godly low-cut lycra singlet.

[MarkBroccardo]

Re: Modest True Christian lady looking for Godly man

I would like to humbly toss my hat in the ring to compete for the opportunity to wed this fine young godly woman. I believe I am as qualified as these other gentlemen are, since Jesus has forgiven me and made me a new man in Christ. While I am fresh off a 10-year struggle with Meth and Crack, who am I to argue with the Bible? "He who the Son sets free is free indeed." That makes my resume as good as the next guy's.

What d'ya think Sister Elisa? Would ya meet me for a burger and fries at Mickey Dee's? I'm buying!

[Sister Noddy]

Re: Modest True Christian lady looking for Godly man

I would like to humbly toss my hat in the ring to compete for the opportunity to wed this fine young godly woman ...

... What d'ya think Sister Elisa? Would ya meet me for a burger and fries at Mickey Dee's? I'm buying!

Um, she said she wants a GODLY True Christian™ man, and no unsaved trash person who waltzes in here out of the blue is Saved® until JESUS tells the goodly pastors he is saved ... yoooou got that, burger boy?

[Brother Guy Bayard]

Re: Modest True Christian lady looking for Godly man

I am in need of a female companion. She must be quiet and gracious in nature, obedient and compliant. She must have no children living with her, and be happy to sleep in a single bed, in a seperate room during menstruation, and enter my study or bedroom by invitation only, or to carry out domestic duties while I am out on business errands.
She can expect to be fairly disciplined for only major infractions, such as neglect of domestic chores or speaking out of turn.
I would expect suitable applicants to be versed in shorthand, of Caucasian stock, be able to drive a tractor and to be equipped with a sizeable dowry, should marriage become an option.
Sex mad harlots need not apply.

[Dwayne DeKalb]

Re: Modest True Christian lady looking for Godly man

See what heppens when you deal with these christians?! You need a caring man like me who will treat you with respect and love. Get out of this cult before they mess up your life as much as mine!

[MarkBroccardo]

Re: Modest True Christian lady looking for Godly man

Um, she said she wants a GODLY True Christian™ man, and no unsaved trash person who waltzes in here out of the blue is Saved® until JESUS tells the goodly pastors he is saved ... yoooou got that, burger boy?

Jesus loves me, this I know. Because the Bible tells me so.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Modest True Christian lady looking for Godly man

Jesus loves me, this I know. Because the Bible tells me so.

Exactly where in the Holy Bible does it say that Jesus loves you? Chapter and verse please, not heresay.

[SalvationSeeker]

Re: Modest True Christian lady looking for Godly man

Well, Elisa.. I am a True Christian man and currently without a wife.
Although I cannot consider marrying you until it's been absolutely certified that you're a True Christian...
Not making the mistake of considering marrying anyone unsaved again.


But first.. Tell me a little about yourself:
What's your favourite Bible (KJV only!) verse?
What dish is your speciality?
Are you still a virgin, or are you damaged goods?
..You don't speak french I hope?

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Re: Modest True Christian lady looking for Godly man

See what heppens when you deal with these christians?! You need a caring man like me who will treat you with respect and love. Get out of this cult before they mess up your life as much as mine!

Just where do you get off trying to lead a Godly young woman astray. I don't want to see her confused between True Love(tm) and the faggy "sensitivity" love that you espouse. We'll leave the homers to their own fey definitions and show the Love of Jesus(tm) to our wives by forcing encouraging them to live in a Godly manner, filled with shame and sobriety....

[Talitha]

Re: Modest True Christian lady looking for Godly man

I'd been thinking of organizing a few rounds of Girl-on-Girl Liturgical Wrestling, and now that you'll be visiting Freehold, what better time could there be to schedule a few matches? I'll have to check with Brother Bobby-J, but I think Fellowship Hall is available next Friday night. Would you be agreeable to going a few rounds with Sister Thumper or Sister Talitha? It'll be glorious -- And a fine way for you to meet all the eligible bachelors in the Church, who will be very keen to watch you grapple in your most Godly low-cut lycra singlet.

Brother Larry, what's happening about this match? Has Brother BJ got back to you?
Me and Sister Thumper have been limbering up in readiness for the Main Event and we're both itching to do some Grappling.