[Faith_Machine]

Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie

*oh your god, because I have none

Funny how somebody with such large problems, such as having no God, no faith, no salvation, no King James Bible to give you succor, somebody like you, whose life is a complete hellbound mess, you have all this free time to spend worrying about me and my imagined wrongs.

Get right with Jesus, boy. Do it now!

[Jim Farmer]

Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie

I have just seen Mistress Cookie on these forums for the first time in months and it says she is modifying her post! Hallelujah, the Lord saw it fit to give her back to us!

It's probably that dumb old lady who's taken over her desk - what's her name? Granny July or something like that. I expect she'd be trying to hack into Mistress Cookie's account to figure out how things work. But I think she's too dumb to really succeed.

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie

Most probably, Faith Machine is playing with Cookie's phone.

Brother Faith Machine, please let us hear from Mistress Cookie herself on her account!

[Basilissa]

Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie

That just means someone is logged into her account, possibly a Pastor or some other system administrator, or OYG IT MIGHT BE JESUS!!!1! derp

Most probably, Faith Machine is playing with Cookie's phone.

[Didymus Much]

Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie

I have just seen Mistress Cookie on these forums for the first time in months and it says she is modifying her post! Hallelujah, the Lord saw it fit to give her back to us!

That just means someone is logged into her account, possibly a Pastor or some other system administrator, or OYG* IT MIGHT BE JESUS!!!1! derp


*oh your god, because I have none

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie

I have just seen Mistress Cookie on these forums for the first time in months and it says she is modifying her post! Hallelujah, the Lord saw it fit to give her back to us!

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie

Do you read what I write?

It is so good to hear from you, again. Have you finally come to accept Jesus?

Your friend, Dr Laurence Niles, PhD.

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie

Brother Zechariah, you're asking too much of dear Javiera. For her to be able to include scripture to support her claims, she would have to own, read, and comprehend a Bible.

If you believe that's ever going to happen, your faith is clearly stronger than my own.

Praise Jesus.

Brother Faith Machine, forgive me if I am speaking out of turn, but there is a KJV Bible online. Javiera, take heed: http://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie

Brother Zechariah, you're asking too much of dear Javiera. For her to be able to include scripture to support her claims, she would have to own, read, and comprehend a Bible.

If you believe that's ever going to happen, your faith is clearly stronger than my own.

Praise Jesus.

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie

Aha, some corrections... first of all, I'm still learning english, don't wait my english to be perfect in a short time, it needs practice, second, how can you hear my tone of voice? I mean, this is written communication. Third, I have never had sex. Fourth, you're violent, truly violent, and I don't tolerate people who spank children, be sure I would return EVERY hit you give me, ok? I'm not an idiot who let another people abuse of me, you must learn that in one way or another, I don't care if you're an old woman, if you abuse of me, you deserve a punishment, are we clear now?

Oh, the follies of youth. Remember, Miss Javiera Leviticus 19:32 "Thou shalt rise up before the hoary head, and honour the face of the old man, and fear thy God: I am the LORD." Now, having said that, I'm going to show you why you are wrong.

First, you say you are learning English. Well, at least you are learning God's favorite language. That is good. However, anything is possible through God, through prayer. Meaning, if you repented and prayed to the Lord, a miracle could occur. Matthew 7:7 "Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:". However, you would have to repent first. John 9:31 "Now we know that God heareth not sinners: but if any man be a worshipper of God, and doeth his will, him he heareth."

Second, you claim I cannot hear your tone of voice. You claim that mine is scolding and harsh, but this is written communication, right? See, your point makes no sense. Also, look further. IF I WRITE IN ALL CAPS WITH BOLD, RED, AND UNDERLINE ON, I am trying to be loud, rude, yelling, and in your face. That much is clear. Thus, hearing your tone of voice is possible. After all things are possible through Christ. "Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth." Mark 9:23


You claim that you never had sex. Yet the image you sent to the good, upstanding True Christian Brother Des was of you, an old lady with her pants off. Modesty is a good indication of how slutty you are, and you were the opposite of modesty in that photo. Really! 1 Timothy 2:9 "In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;". While you are so fat plump, in that photo, and the opposite of appealing to a man, at least according to my husband, who is always right, there may be a man who might find you appealing. Thus, you cause him to sin. "But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart." Matthew 5:28 Adultery is a sin. "Thou shalt not commit adultery." Exodus 20:14

You are calling me violent. What proof do you have that I have hurt you? None, as we have not met in person. If I have deducted points from you, or scolded you, it was rebuking you in the name of the Lord, which is perfectly acceptable, as is disciplining, however the Lord sees fit. "Open rebuke is better than secret love." Proverbs 27:5 also see Proverbs 13:24 "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.". I don't even have a rod, but can't you see I'm just trying to help you get to heaven? I don't rebuke you for fun. I rebuke you because I'm trying to help you get to heaven as the the Lord commands. "Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost:" Matthew 28:19


As for me being old. I'm probably older than you. If not physically, then mentally. I'm respectably married and pregnant, and a woman of good standing in my church, as a pastor's wife. As for my age, Javiera, you little ignorant girl, I'm only 17.5. While a lady normally would not reveal her age, I want to tell you I'm not a "little, old, freaky-conservative lady". I'm a young, highly intelligent (I graduated high school with multiple 5s on the secular AP exams). I am proudly conservative, both religiously and politically (Go Tea Party! Save our liberty!).

Yours in Christ (who you still have to accept),
Elizabeth

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie

Do you read what I write?

I basically skim over it because it is so boring and witless and devoid of Scripture.



As a matter of fact, if you don't start supporting some of your dull and brainless diatribes with relevant Bible verses I'm afraid you may be asked to take (another) break.

Here is how it's done:

(Proverbs 26:11) "As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly."

See? Just pick something that supports the point you are trying to make...it's easy!



Yours in Christ,

Zech

[OverlyAttachedJaviera]

Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie

When are you going to stop complaining and join our chorus extolling the Word of God?

Do you read what I write?

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie

something about being too ugly to have sex

When are you going to stop complaining and join our chorus extolling the Word of God?

[OverlyAttachedJaviera]

Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie

Javiera,

First of all, you truly are a child. I mean really, your grammar and punctuation are atrocious. Also, your whiny tone of voice also mimics a child's. But then, you really are a child whore, just having sex for Satan's pleasure. Stop acting like a whore, and repent!

Also, you are extremely rude and disrespectful to the True Christians on this site, as well as myself. If you were my daughter, I would wash your mouth with the strongest soap I would have, followed by a sound spanking, till your slutty behind is sore and bright red. "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes." Proverbs 13:24 Disrespect will not be tolerated on these forums by me. As a married, respectable lady, I desire that all other women become as respectable as myself. If you think I am being disrespectful by calling you a harlot and a slut, it's the truth. Spreading your legs like that in such an immodest fashion makes you a harlot. "In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;" 1 Timothy 2:9. Therefore, you will end up in Hell, being raped by Satan's minions. "Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind," 1 Corinthians 6:9

Yet, despite all your horrid actions and sins, there is still hope for you. All you have to do is beg Jesus to forgive you of your sins, accept that you need a Savior, and obey the entire KJV Bible. "Repent ye therefore, and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, when the times of refreshing shall come from the presence of the Lord;" Acts 3:19

Yours in Christ,
Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson

Aha, some corrections... first of all, I'm still learning english, don't wait my english to be perfect in a short time, it needs practice, second, how can you hear my tone of voice? I mean, this is written communication. Third, I have never had sex. Fourth, you're violent, truly violent, and I don't tolerate people who spank children, be sure I would return EVERY hit you give me, ok? I'm not an idiot who let another people abuse of me, you must learn that in one way or another, I don't care if you're an old woman, if you abuse of me, you deserve a punishment, are we clear now?

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie

Hmmm Mr Machine. I will believe you when I personally hear from Mistress Cookie, and not until then.

Why would you want to listen to her senseless yapping? Be happy that Brother Faith is doing that for all of us!