[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie

If I wasn't married and busy serving my husband, I would volunteer. However, he has commanded otherwise, and I must obey. Ephesians 5:22 Granny June, would you like a manual for women on how to use a computer? Soon before joining these forums, my father gave it to me and it helped.

[Jim Farmer]

Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie

I'm just trying to help the old dolt, Sister Joanna.
You see, if she had one of those machines, she wouldn't have got your husband's tithing wrong.

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie

Give her a break, Brother Jim. I'm sure it can't be easy for an elderly woman to run the office at such short notice, especially given Cookie's slightly unusual filing system.

June, my husband has a question about the latest credit to his tithing account statement, which is out by about 50% and NOT in his (or LBC's) favor. The UK pound is not equivalent to the US dollar. Should I address my query to you or to Polly, or would it be better to go direct to Pastor Zeke?

[Jim Farmer]

Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie

PUBLIC NOTICE special for brother J. "That's uncalled for" come volunteering to run office adding machine would be the solution not ad-humus attacks.

Do you know how to turn an adding machine on? I wonder if the church's finances might extend to getting you one of these:

Unfortunately for you, it won't 'hum'.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie

Yeah, that's one of those logical fallacies. Something liberals and atheists engage in all the time when they realize they can't debate us on the facts.

[Granny June]

Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie

From the Desk of
GRANNY JUNE
Office Temp and #1 Volunteer for Christ

Obviously, i meant ad-hummable attacks. look it up

[Jim Farmer]

Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie

A "humus ad" would be

or maybe you mean "hummus"?

But I'm not attacking either

[Granny June]

Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie

From the Desk of
GRANNY JUNE
Office Temp and #1 Volunteer for Christ

No, day 15 would be Tuesday...use your toes to count if you have to. Just do it in private...

PUBLIC NOTICE special for brother J. "That's uncalled for" come volunteering to run office adding machine would be the solution not ad-humus attacks.

[Jim Farmer]

Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie

update: POLLY reminded me again the 14-day started running last Monday so that's6 days counting today sorry it was in the church bulletin board that counts as public notice

Possessions of Brother F. and Miss C. sold at auction on Day 15 (Wed?)

No, day 15 would be Tuesday, you poor dumb woman. Take your shoes off and use your toes to count if you have to. Just do it in private. No one else wants to see your manky feet.

[Jim Farmer]

Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie

you're going to have one heck of a time laying your hands on my property. Heck, I'd like to see you try.

Do you really think that will bother them?
2 Samuel 22:3 The God of my rock; in him will I trust: he is my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my high tower, and my refuge, my saviour; thou savest me from violence.

[Granny June]

Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie

sorry supposed to be in 1 post above (2nd notice) doesn't want to attach




(insert scripture here) take out this time

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie

Firstly, asset forfeiture is un-American. Secondly, I am given to understand Miss Cookie is on her way home as we speak. Thirdly, being that my primary residence is still here in scenic Pacifica, California, you're going to have one heck of a time laying your hands on my property. Heck, I'd like to see you try.

[Granny June]

Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie

From the Desk of
GRANNY JUNE
Office Temp and #1 Volunteer for Christ

update: POLLY reminded me again the 14-day started running last Monday so that's6 days counting today sorry it was in the church bulletin board that counts as public notice

Possessions of Brother F. and Miss C. sold at auction on Day 15 (Wed?) Off-sets cost of 2 electronic notices and training me so church coffers untouched

Arrange property viewing thru me or polly at church offices polly is best


(insert scripture here)


Haggai 2:8 The silver is mine, and the gold is mine, saith the LORD of hosts.


That is all questions in writing only please don't call

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie

Yes, yes, we accidentally visited a Pentecostal church. But we got out of there and everything is fine. COMPLETELY FINE.

There is NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.

[Granny June]

Re: Please Pray for Mistress Cookie

From the Desk of
GRANNY JUNE
Office Temp and #1 Volunteer for Christ

The church has asked me to write a memorandum to say let me look at my notes...to say the unfortunates known as Mistress Cookie and Brother F. Machine are facing being dropped from the church roll (roles?) call something something

Can't read this

Anyway, watercooler talk's I heard theres been sightings not holdups or anything but they're on the move and spotted at a Pentacostal handling of SNAKES. grainy, but Miss Cookie tried to bring .snake up to her throat BUT .....was hustled outthere's video frotage of it all and while the church sympathizes they are now out of Freehold jurystictionion for the moments time I think the long and short of it is if they're not back for a full accounting in 14 days yea the gates be forever closed on them forever so it is written in my notes

(insert scripture here)

Leviticus 24:14 Bring forth him that hath cursed without the camp; and let all that heard him lay their hands upon his head, and let all the congregation stone him.


call a pastor if you have a question i just work here Well, that's done. lunch