X
 
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
  • Bobby-Joe
    Landover Security Superviser
    Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
    NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2006
    • 18405

    #196
    Re: URGENT!!! PRAY FOR PASTOR ZEKE TO GET OUT OF JAIL!!!

    Originally posted by ThrustingBoy View Post
    Your closed mindedness never stops amazing me.
    So were do you find the truth friend, out of your backside? The mutterings of some drug crazed hippy? The rantings of some native American on a mushroom trip? The Bible is the bases of the entire moral system of the civilization we live in.

    Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

    Hot Must ReadThreads!


    Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!

    Comment

    • Cranky Old Man
      Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
      You kids get off his lawn!
       
      • Jan 2010
      • 22368

      #197
      Re: URGENT!!! PRAY FOR PASTOR ZEKE TO GET OUT OF JAIL!!!

      Originally posted by ThrustingBoy View Post
      Your closed mindedness never stops amazing me.
      I have not seen you change your opinion a tiny bit either, so you are close minded as well. The difference here being that we can back up our "closed minds" with cold hard facts from the Holy Bible.
      5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
      To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
      James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

      Comment

      • John Scopes
        Unsaved Trash, Monkey worshiping Darwinista
        • Sep 2009
        • 666

        #198
        Re: URGENT!!! PRAY FOR PASTOR ZEKE TO GET OUT OF JAIL!!!

        Originally posted by ThrustingBoy View Post
        Your closed mindedness never stops amazing me.
        Excuse me for intruding sir but I noticed your signature. As a scientist I am naturally curious, as a sponge how do you type on a keyboard? Did you evolve arms, or are you using some sort of device for the handicapped?
        sigpic
        “Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge: it is those who know little, and not those who know much, who so positively assert that this or that problem will never be solved by science.” Charles Darwin The Descent of Man (1871)

        Comment

        • ThrustingBoy
          Unsaved trash
          • Jan 2010
          • 76

          #199
          Re: URGENT!!! PRAY FOR PASTOR ZEKE TO GET OUT OF JAIL!!!

          Originally posted by John Scopes View Post
          Excuse me for intruding sir but I noticed your signature. As a scientist I am naturally curious, as a sponge how do you type on a keyboard? Did you evolve arms, or are you using some sort of device for the handicapped?
          Haha, I am glad you noticed, but my sig is from something Bobby Joe said in the "Are you and Atheist" thread. I found it funny and liked it. But no, I do not actually think I evolved from a sponge.
          My parents are highly specialized sponges.

          Comment

          • Cranky Old Man
            Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
            You kids get off his lawn!
             
            • Jan 2010
            • 22368

            #200
            Re: URGENT!!! PRAY FOR PASTOR ZEKE TO GET OUT OF JAIL!!!

            Originally posted by ThrustingBoy View Post
            But no, I do not actually think I evolved from a sponge.
            I thought you where a Spongebob fan.
            5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
            To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
            James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

            Comment

            • Bobby-Joe
              Landover Security Superviser
              Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
              NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
              True Christian™
              • Sep 2006
              • 18405

              #201
              Re: URGENT!!! PRAY FOR PASTOR ZEKE TO GET OUT OF JAIL!!!

              Originally posted by ThrustingBoy View Post
              Haha, I am glad you noticed, but my sig is from something Bobby Joe said in the "Are you and Atheist" thread. I found it funny and liked it. But no, I do not actually think I evolved from a sponge.
              Why don't you take some personal responsibility for your self instead of blaming other.

              Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

              Hot Must ReadThreads!


              Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!

              Comment

              • SUV
                True Christian™ Princess
                The Driving Force behind RA12
                Have at it, anytime!
                • Sep 2006
                • 11027

                #202
                Re: URGENT!!! PRAY FOR PASTOR ZEKE TO GET OUT OF JAIL!!!

                Originally posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
                I thought you where a Spongebob fan.
                Dear Lord, it appears he is into excrement as well

                Comment

                • Pastor Ezekiel
                  Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                   
                  • Sep 2006
                  • 78555

                  #203
                  Re: URGENT!!! PRAY FOR PASTOR ZEKE TO GET OUT OF JAIL!!!

                  Originally posted by Gabriel Reproba View Post
                  Thank goodness! I have been working all night on the motion you requested that I file. (The one that asks a judge to order you out of solitary and into the cell with other inmates so you could preach the word of God to them, especially the queers.) I am glad we do not need to file it anymore...unless you want to sue for the right to go into the jail every once in a while and preach to the queers?
                  Your motion worked, Brother. Not only am I a free man again, but I managed to convert 7 nubile young men to accept Jesus as their Savior right there in Prison!! Once I got down on my knees and started humming a Godly tune, they were like putty in my hands. In the 4 short hours I spent with them, we experienced dozens of what I like to call "Hallelujah Moments" in every position and combination imaginable. I get excited all over again every time I think about it!



                  Originally posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
                  Welcome back to the world Pastor Zeke. I got to say you looked rather chipper and happy when we picked you up at the county jail. Very impressive for someone who has been in the lions den, so to say. The smile on your face was very moving Pastor. All an example of the Protection of the Lord® you move under.
                  AMEN!! And I'd appreciate it if you would have one of your boys in security run down to the Des Moines Jail and pick up my cellmates. I just got off the phone and the judge has released all 7 of them into my custody. I'd like to relive our hours in lockup and work on some fine-tuning of their Salvation. Shout GLORY!!



                  Originally posted by ThrustingBoy View Post
                  So are you stating now that it is ok for somebody of a different religion to start beating you with their Holy book just because they think it is right? Because I assume it will be a cold day in Hell before you admit something like that. I assume you are giving yourself the right but nobody else because you believe that you are right and everybody else is wrong. JUST LIKE EVERYBODY THAT HAS BELIEVES RELIGION DOES.
                  Dear Hatemonger;

                  We follow the Holy Bible word for word, as has been pointed out to you on innumerable occasions. God wants those who follow other religions to be killed! All I did was scrambled the brains of bop a queer witch on the head with my steel-plated KJV Bible. He's lucky Jesus didn't get ahold of him before I did!

                  Once he comes out of his coma (if ever), I'll expect a heartfelt apology and his renunciation of satan. Anything less and I'll press charges against him!
                  Who Will Jesus Damn?

                  Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                  Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                  Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                  Comment

                  • Paul Jeffery
                    Forum Member
                    Forum Member
                    • Dec 2009
                    • 272

                    #204
                    Re: URGENT!!! PRAY FOR PASTOR ZEKE TO GET OUT OF JAIL!!!

                    I'm so sorry it's taken me this long to voice my jubilation over this newest win for Jesus. Pastor Zeke, you still lead by example, as you always have. News of your freedom reached Rockford while I was at work this morning and my supervisor wrote me up for letting out a loud "WHOOP!" within earshot of a client and for dancing down the aisle of the store while on the clock. My behavior was entirely the work of Jesus so I'll happily take the write-up. Please let me know if there is anything I might do or anything you need for the care or education of the seven cellmates you're taking under your wing. I'm less than five hours away from Freehold and remain at your beck and call.
                    sigpicMIKE HUCKABEE/RAND PAUL - 2012 (or sooner if possible)

                    Comment

                    • Christy
                      Forum Member
                      Forum Member
                      • Jan 2010
                      • 19

                      #205
                      Re: URGENT!!! PRAY FOR PASTOR ZEKE TO GET OUT OF JAIL!!!

                      Glory!
                      Genesis 19: 31,32
                      31-And the firstborn said unto the younger, Our father is old, and there is not a man in the earth to come in unto us after the manner of all the earth:
                      32-Come, let us make our father drink wine, and we will lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father.

                      Comment

                      • ThrustingBoy
                        Unsaved trash
                        • Jan 2010
                        • 76

                        #206
                        Re: URGENT!!! PRAY FOR PASTOR ZEKE TO GET OUT OF JAIL!!!

                        Originally posted by SUV View Post
                        Dear Lord, it appears he is into excrement as well
                        Yeah, because I put that there and not you guys.

                        Originally posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
                        Why don't you take some personal responsibility for your self instead of blaming other.
                        I wasn't blaming anybody for anything, I stated where I got the idea of my sig from.

                        And what is all this talk about Spongebob? You guys watch some strange shows.
                        My parents are highly specialized sponges.

                        Comment

                        • Cranky Old Man
                          Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
                          You kids get off his lawn!
                           
                          • Jan 2010
                          • 22368

                          #207
                          Re: URGENT!!! PRAY FOR PASTOR ZEKE TO GET OUT OF JAIL!!!

                          Originally posted by ThrustingBoy View Post
                          And what is all this talk about Spongebob? You guys watch some strange shows.
                          Because you claim to be the child of 2 sponges of course. Did you even read your own signature? You are unable to read the Bible. You are unable to read the posting on this forum. And now you are even unable to read your own postings? How did you ever figure out how to cross a street without getting killed?
                          5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
                          To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
                          James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

                          Comment

                          • True Disciple
                            True Christian™ Creation Scientist
                            Landover Baptist University Associate Professor
                            Smashing atheist science one fact at a time
                            True Christian™
                            • Nov 2009
                            • 2445

                            #208
                            Re: URGENT!!! PRAY FOR PASTOR ZEKE TO GET OUT OF JAIL!!!

                            Originally posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
                            Because you claim to be the child of 2 sponges of course. Did you even read your own signature? You are unable to read the Bible. You are unable to read the posting on this forum. And now you are even unable to read your own postings? How did you ever figure out how to cross a street without getting killed?
                            Right you are, Brother! To which school did this boy go, seeing that he can write a little, but is unable to read anything at all?
                            Sweet Lord Jesus,
                            I want to pray for those who persecute me, my Lord.
                            Please, treat their children as you treated those of Egypt, when they upset you! (Psalm 135:8-9)
                            Dash their little children against the stones for their fathers iniquity! (Psalm 137:8-9)
                            Hit them on the cheek, and smash out their teeth! (Psalm 3:7)
                            Make their death and descent into Hell swift and terrible! (Psalm 55:15)
                            Scatter their broken bodies over the streets of their evil cities, like Benghazi, Amsterdam, Tokyo and Mecca! (Psalm 110:6)
                            Praised be Your Glorious Name™.

                            Amen.

                            Comment

                            • SUV
                              True Christian™ Princess
                              The Driving Force behind RA12
                              Have at it, anytime!
                              • Sep 2006
                              • 11027

                              #209
                              Re: URGENT!!! PRAY FOR PASTOR ZEKE TO GET OUT OF JAIL!!!

                              Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                              Once I got down on my knees and started humming a Godly tune, they were like putty in my hands. In the 4 short hours I spent with them, we experienced dozens of what I like to call "Hallelujah Moments" in every position and combination imaginable. I get excited all over again every time I think about it!
                              Great Grumpy GOD, Pastor! This must have been every bit as exciting as Jesus recently receiving Oral! Praise!

                              Comment

                              Working...