[Cranky Old Man]

Re: The Most High and Holy Prayer

You seem to need the idea of that burning lake, to give you the hope that those who's lives are more fun then yours will pay for it in the end.

Since my life is great fun, I do not think you are getting any of this. Perhaps the tomato sauce caused depression is blurring your perspective here.

I am very happy about loving Jesus and Him loving me.
I am very happy to be sure I will go to Heaven.
I am very happy to be sure idiots like you will burn in hell for all eternity.

Life is great! The afterlife will be even better!

[Jo Freddie]

Re: The Most High and Holy Prayer

I am very happy to be sure idiots like you will burn in hell for all eternity.

Clear evidence of your sadistic nature, you get joy from the mental image of suffering of others.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: The Most High and Holy Prayer

Clear evidence of your sadistic nature, you get joy from the mental image of suffering of others.

Don't think I don't see your little game Mr Freddie - if that is your name.

With your constant bickering and infanite drivel, you drive a True Christian(tm) man beyond the patience of God Himself and then, when he finally emphasizes the Truth to you, you appear surprised and you attack him again!

Your delusions about a god made of stuff that has to be made by man are ridiculous!

[Jo Freddie]

Re: The Most High and Holy Prayer

That is satan's greatest trick, to make usbelieve that he doesn't exist, and that hell is just an imaginary place invented by bronze-age writers in order to frighten people into obedience. Well let me tell you something Mr. Noodle Pirate: HELL IS REAL and YOU are going there ANY DAY NOW because GOD WILL NOT BE MOCKED!!

See somewhere deep down inside you know the truth, it tries to get out, but your brainwashing almost manages to keep it suppressed, it is no trick of satan, as satan is also a construct of those same bronze-age chasers, it is you my friend that has fallen for the old trick not I.

Many here feel threatened by my presence, my words and those of the One True God, Hallowed be His Noodly Appendages, touches something inside, an unconscious feeling that knows these words are the TRUTH, but you are yet to break through the brainwashing. I am here to help you, help you break down those walls inside that keep you from accepting the truth.

The stronger the outbursts against me, the more I know the TRUTH is making itself felt within you.

Once you are rid of those walls, gone will be that pain inside, that fire that eats away at you from within.

I offer you another prayer from "The Official Pastafarian Prayer Book"

Ponderance of thy Balls

Oh Dual Orbed One in the Sky
Thy carbohydrated-ness is reknown throughout the land
For thy appendage has touched our humble Pastafarian flock
And in our praise to thee, do we thank thee for extending your noodley appendage.
For a life of dogma sure beats living in the real world!

And with thine eye stalks, does thee watch over your Piratey Brethren
For they are both googly and snail like. And Gastropods are yea verily really cool with the kids.
And in our worship to thee, do we acknowledge that you watch over us.
Like Betty Bowers or a Military Satellite.
For thine privacy is forfeit in your eyes.

But thine mystery of thine Pulsating Meat Balls doth perplex us
They are dual Halos, (without the X-Box) which radiate thy warmth with great glee, meatiness and herbiness.
For your mincey goodness be forfeit without much garlic and onion.

And in our thoughts of thee, do we boys ponder your wobbly bits.
For a man doth think about sex every 10 seconds according to many womans magazines.
And testosterone can yea verily be a real bummer.
For it doth cause many of the worlds problems, including
24 hour sports channels and badly acted martial arts movies.

And in multiple choice format, we doth ask thee:

a) Are thee man? For thy Holy orbs possess crown jewel like qualities. (cue spine tingling music)
b) Are thee woman? For thy Holy orbs put Pamela Anderson to shame
c) Are thee both? For the post modern era doth allow many possibilities
d) Are thee are non of the above?

For thine answer is d). Lock in d)!!

For we shall praise thee in all our Might Oh Great Lord/Lordette that your sexless form shall provide inspiration and equality to Pastafarians across the land.

For subordination of women and separation of roles is an abomination in your eye stalks.

Yes thy humble snail is also a hermaphrodite, intelligently designed in your image. But alas thy brethren the slug did yea verily cop a raw deal, without thy 'Mini-Winnebago' for shelter.

And as your tentacles brush the lands of the holy mountain, shall we your pastafarian people extol thee with much joy.
For the mystery of thine balls shall result in much fragmented thinking, counter movement and disagreement, like most theological thinking.

For thine balls are the Meatiness, the Mince and the Seasoning.

For Ever and Ever,

RAmen

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: The Most High and Holy Prayer

a) Are thee man?

Huh! Can't even speak American; it should, of course be,

"Art thou man?"

[Jo Freddie]

Re: The Most High and Holy Prayer

Huh! Can't even speak American; it should, of course be,

"Art thou man?"

Who are we to question the words God uses to reveal his message?