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  • Levi Jones
    Pastor of Hermeneutics and Apologetics
    Bathed in Christ's Precious Blood
    Apostle to the Cactuses, Tumbleweeds and Jackrabbits
     
    • Jul 2009
    • 13930
    #31
    Re: Men, I have to admit something

    Originally posted by eliot mayfield View Post
    That is so stereotypical and insulting.
    Whatever, Belinda. Please don't hit me with your purse.

    Now it's time for me to do more meth and onanize myself to furry porn.
    Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.

      Comment

      • eliot mayfield
        God Squad
        True Christian™
        • Sep 2006
        • 9324
        #32
        Re: Men, I have to admit something

        Originally posted by Levi Jones View Post
        Whatever, Belinda. Please don't hit me with your purse.

        Now it's time for me to do more meth and onanize myself to furry porn.
        Furries? Wow, you just boosted my self esteem!
        Matthew:
        5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
        5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
        10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
        10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


        sigpic

          Comment

          • Rev. M. Rodimer
            Honorary True Christian™
            Forum Member
            • May 2008
            • 13996
            #33
            Re: Men, I have to admit something

            Originally posted by eliot mayfield View Post
            Furries? Wow, you just boosted my self esteem!
            I've put in a call to Bobby-Joe. He tells me that he's organizing a crew to pay you a call. He mentioned something about booties?

            Anyway, they're going to I-Slam the gay right out of you, punk!
            Bible boring? Nonsense!
            Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
            You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

              Comment

              • eliot mayfield
                God Squad
                True Christian™
                • Sep 2006
                • 9324
                #34
                Re: Men, I have to admit something

                Originally posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
                I've put in a call to Bobby-Joe. He tells me that he's organizing a crew to pay you a call. He mentioned something about booties?

                Anyway, they're going to I-Slam the gay right out of you, punk!
                Well, I'm not here alone and they might just have to change their tactics when a certain someone answers the door.
                Matthew:
                5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
                5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
                10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
                10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


                sigpic

                  Comment

                  • Pastor Ezekiel
                    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                     
                    • Sep 2006
                    • 78552
                    #35
                    Re: Men, I have to admit something

                    Originally posted by eliot mayfield View Post
                    I'm Loud, I'm Proud, I'm queer and I'm Here!
                    Eliot, this forum is for men. No nancy-boys allowed. Don't make me have to ban you.
                    Who Will Jesus Damn?

                    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                      Comment

                      • eliot mayfield
                        God Squad
                        True Christian™
                        • Sep 2006
                        • 9324
                        #36
                        Re: Men, I have to admit something

                        Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                        Eliot, this forum is for men. No nancy-boys allowed. Don't make me have to ban you.
                        Ok, but you can help me STUDy, can't you?
                        Matthew:
                        5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
                        5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
                        10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
                        10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


                        sigpic

                          Comment

                          • True Disciple
                            True Christian™ Creation Scientist
                            Landover Baptist University Associate Professor
                            Smashing atheist science one fact at a time
                            True Christian™
                            • Nov 2009
                            • 2445
                            #37
                            Re: Men, I have to admit something

                            Originally posted by eliot mayfield View Post
                            Burn and drown?
                            But I thought Christians were supposed to love sinners like me? Have you no compassion?
                            Does Satan live under water if he's doing thios to me while I'm drowning? Does fire burn underwater too?
                            Does Satan have gills or something?
                            I'm Loud, I'm Proud, I'm queer and I'm Here!
                            Originally posted by Rev. Jim Osborne View Post
                            Eliot, honey, you go girl!

                            I have finally taken the plunge and admitted that I am gay as well. We do not need to hide. We have to come out of the closet and live in pride.

                            You have my support, hon.

                            -Rev. Jim
                            Originally posted by Levi Jones View Post
                            Well you go, sugar shorts!
                            Finally, I can come out for my real feelings! I am a prancing, flaming faggot! God loves everyone of us, no matter of our sexual orientation! Praise Jesus! San Francisco, here I come! I'm on my way buying new swimming gear!
                            Sweet Lord Jesus,
                            I want to pray for those who persecute me, my Lord.
                            Please, treat their children as you treated those of Egypt, when they upset you! (Psalm 135:8-9)
                            Dash their little children against the stones for their fathers iniquity! (Psalm 137:8-9)
                            Hit them on the cheek, and smash out their teeth! (Psalm 3:7)
                            Make their death and descent into Hell swift and terrible! (Psalm 55:15)
                            Scatter their broken bodies over the streets of their evil cities, like Benghazi, Amsterdam, Tokyo and Mecca! (Psalm 110:6)
                            Praised be Your Glorious Name™.

                            Amen.

                              Comment

                              • BelieverInGod
                                Fourm Member
                                Forum Member
                                • Feb 2010
                                • 9269
                                #38
                                Re: Men, I have to admit something

                                Originally posted by True Disciple View Post
                                Finally, I can come out for my real feelings! I am a prancing, flaming faggot! God loves everyone of us, no matter of our sexual orientation! Praise Jesus! San Francisco, here I come! I'm on my way buying new swimming gear!
                                Well at least you have the decency to leave Freehold.
                                Drama queen

                                  Comment

                                  • True Disciple
                                    True Christian™ Creation Scientist
                                    Landover Baptist University Associate Professor
                                    Smashing atheist science one fact at a time
                                    True Christian™
                                    • Nov 2009
                                    • 2445
                                    #39
                                    Re: Men, I have to admit something

                                    Originally posted by BelieverInGod View Post
                                    Well at least you have the decency to leave Freehold.
                                    Sister, you are a woman, you know things like those I have been worrying about. How do you think this would look on me? Would it make me look fat, you think?
                                    Sweet Lord Jesus,
                                    I want to pray for those who persecute me, my Lord.
                                    Please, treat their children as you treated those of Egypt, when they upset you! (Psalm 135:8-9)
                                    Dash their little children against the stones for their fathers iniquity! (Psalm 137:8-9)
                                    Hit them on the cheek, and smash out their teeth! (Psalm 3:7)
                                    Make their death and descent into Hell swift and terrible! (Psalm 55:15)
                                    Scatter their broken bodies over the streets of their evil cities, like Benghazi, Amsterdam, Tokyo and Mecca! (Psalm 110:6)
                                    Praised be Your Glorious Name™.

                                    Amen.

                                      Comment

                                      • eliot mayfield
                                        God Squad
                                        True Christian™
                                        • Sep 2006
                                        • 9324
                                        #40
                                        Re: Men, I have to admit something

                                        Originally posted by True Disciple View Post
                                        Sister, you are a woman, you know things like those I have been worrying about. How do you think this would look on me? Would it make me look fat, you think?
                                        I'd go with something more covering unless you've shaved your butt recently.
                                        Matthew:
                                        5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
                                        5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
                                        10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
                                        10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


                                        sigpic

                                          Comment

                                          • BelieverInGod
                                            Fourm Member
                                            Forum Member
                                            • Feb 2010
                                            • 9269
                                            #41
                                            Re: Men, I have to admit something

                                            Originally posted by True Disciple View Post
                                            Sister, you are a woman, you know things like those I have been worrying about. How do you think this would look on me? Would it make me look fat, you think?
                                            I really don't know, but somehow I have an urge to head out and start collecting rocks.
                                            Drama queen

                                              Comment

                                              • True Disciple
                                                True Christian™ Creation Scientist
                                                Landover Baptist University Associate Professor
                                                Smashing atheist science one fact at a time
                                                True Christian™
                                                • Nov 2009
                                                • 2445
                                                #42
                                                Re: Men, I have to admit something

                                                Originally posted by eliot mayfield View Post
                                                I'd go with something more covering unless you've shaved your butt recently.
                                                I've epilated it. Is that acceptable as well?
                                                Sweet Lord Jesus,
                                                I want to pray for those who persecute me, my Lord.
                                                Please, treat their children as you treated those of Egypt, when they upset you! (Psalm 135:8-9)
                                                Dash their little children against the stones for their fathers iniquity! (Psalm 137:8-9)
                                                Hit them on the cheek, and smash out their teeth! (Psalm 3:7)
                                                Make their death and descent into Hell swift and terrible! (Psalm 55:15)
                                                Scatter their broken bodies over the streets of their evil cities, like Benghazi, Amsterdam, Tokyo and Mecca! (Psalm 110:6)
                                                Praised be Your Glorious Name™.

                                                Amen.

                                                  Comment

                                                  • eliot mayfield
                                                    God Squad
                                                    True Christian™
                                                    • Sep 2006
                                                    • 9324
                                                    #43
                                                    Re: Men, I have to admit something

                                                    Originally posted by True Disciple View Post
                                                    I've epilated it. Is that acceptable as well?
                                                    I think you need you of those Bolivian wax jobs.
                                                    Matthew:
                                                    5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
                                                    5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
                                                    10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
                                                    10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


                                                    sigpic

                                                      Comment

                                                      • True Disciple
                                                        True Christian™ Creation Scientist
                                                        Landover Baptist University Associate Professor
                                                        Smashing atheist science one fact at a time
                                                        True Christian™
                                                        • Nov 2009
                                                        • 2445
                                                        #44
                                                        Re: Men, I have to admit something

                                                        Originally posted by eliot mayfield View Post
                                                        I think you need you of those Bolivian wax jobs.
                                                        Can you recommend me one?
                                                        Sweet Lord Jesus,
                                                        I want to pray for those who persecute me, my Lord.
                                                        Please, treat their children as you treated those of Egypt, when they upset you! (Psalm 135:8-9)
                                                        Dash their little children against the stones for their fathers iniquity! (Psalm 137:8-9)
                                                        Hit them on the cheek, and smash out their teeth! (Psalm 3:7)
                                                        Make their death and descent into Hell swift and terrible! (Psalm 55:15)
                                                        Scatter their broken bodies over the streets of their evil cities, like Benghazi, Amsterdam, Tokyo and Mecca! (Psalm 110:6)
                                                        Praised be Your Glorious Name™.

                                                        Amen.

                                                          Comment

                                                          • Levi Jones
                                                            Pastor of Hermeneutics and Apologetics
                                                            Bathed in Christ's Precious Blood
                                                            Apostle to the Cactuses, Tumbleweeds and Jackrabbits
                                                             
                                                            • Jul 2009
                                                            • 13930
                                                            #45
                                                            Re: Men, I have to admit something

                                                            Originally posted by BelieverInGod View Post
                                                            I really don't know, but somehow I have an urge to head out and start collecting rocks.
                                                            I know, Sister. These sodomites disgust me! I think I'll go help you gather rocks.

                                                            I might have a fox suit that would fit you. Would you like to try it on while we go and search for rocks?
                                                            Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.

                                                              Comment

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