Sign up today: Gentlemen Against Pornographic Exhibition (GAPE)

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Gentlemen Against Pornographic Exhibition is a local ministry in Freehold which seeks to enforce local ordinances which ban the sale of pornography. Our ministry is made up exclusively of men, who gather together in homes, and screen the latest filthy movies. We must know what we can enforce bans on and what we cannot. Additional research is also done privately through computer. If you want to stamp out pornography, and have the stomach to endure hours of the most hardcore, disgusting, kinky, graphic films there are, then please sign-up for G.A.P.E.

We generally meet once a week, on Thursday nights in the living rooms of our members. We believe in the utmost privacy and do not want to subject our sensitive women and children to this depravity, so wives and kids cannot be present in the house. Our meetings usually last about 3 hours.

We start off with a prayer, asking God to help us with the tasks that lie ahead. Then, we go over a review of what we did last week and what our goals for this week are. This is then followed by everyone's least favorite part...the screenings. One or two XXX films will be screened. We take notes and at the end of the film, vote whether or not it should be banned in Freehold or not.

Then we each break seperately, for private intense prayer asking God to clean our minds of what we have witnessed. This usually takes 10-15 minutes.

So please, if you want a safer, moral Freehold and want to stamp out the smut, sign up for G.A.P.E. today!

[Larry Lee]

Re: Sign up today: Gentlemen Against Pornographic Exhibition (GAP

Then we each break seperately, for private intense prayer asking God to clean our minds of what we have witnessed. This usually takes 10-15 minutes.

Indeed. As I recall, it was always Whitford's idea to form a circle and have a group prayer after the screenings, but personally, I prefer the intimacy of private supplication before the Lord.

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: Sign up today: Gentlemen Against Pornographic Exhibition (GAP

Bless you Reverend Jim!

As you may know from my introduction, I was once afflicted with the addiction to lesbanian porn on the Internets. If I keep a KJV Bible in my lap, I can help you in returning to my personal hell to do God's work and help the church. To be safe, I cannot break from the group for private prayer as the Devil knows all too well how to drain the Holy Spirit from me.

But before I sacrifice my newly regained spiritual purity, I do have a question... I assume no male-homer pronography will require viewing? I trust such wicked depravity is categorically banned in Freehold? I would not have the stomach to view and would be afraid of being smitten on the spot.

Yours in Christ

[James Hutchins]

Re: Sign up today: Gentlemen Against Pornographic Exhibition (GAP

As always, sign me up.

I am always willing to lend a helping hand do God's work. I am sure if we all pull together, we can get this program off in spectacular fashion. Are they any tools needed or are the hands and words of baby Jesus the Lord provided enough?

[Nobar King]

Re: Sign up today: Gentlemen Against Pornographic Exhibition (GAP

They can't just expect us to hide out inside all day long, right? There has to be some sort of decency in this world, and it stops short of your tan line. Keep it hidden, ladies.

[Warner S. Davidson]

Re: Sign up today: Gentlemen Against Pornographic Exhibition (GAP

Rev Jim -

It is a shame that I am not in the US as I could possibly add some valuable insight to the evils of pornography, particularly when you take into account my ex wifes current occupation

A couple of you have requsted samples of her debauchery for the purpose study in the name of Jesus...But I just cannot bring myself to expose you all to to this filth.

The depravity includes goup sex with Supermodels, Lesbian Supermodels indulging in perverted sapphic gratification and a category called DP which is too depraved to describe where True Christian(tm) women may stumble across this

Oh dear!!!

[Larry Lee]

Re: Sign up today: Gentlemen Against Pornographic Exhibition (GAP

Rev Jim -

It is a shame that I am not in the US as I could possibly add some valuable insight to the evils of pornography, particularly when you take into account my ex wifes current occupation

A couple of you have requsted samples of her debauchery for the purpose study in the name of Jesus...But I just cannot bring myself to expose you all to to this filth.

The depravity includes goup sex with Supermodels, Lesbian Supermodels indulging in perverted sapphic gratification and a category called DP which is too depraved to describe where True Christian™ women may stumble across this

Oh dear!!!

Sir, your Godly decorum is acceptable unto His eyes. But please, know that after several months of screening one horrific pornographic epic after another, we are very familiar with the vices and unique perversions associated with the DP, DPP, DAP, DVDA, RTF and, of course, the three-eyed turtle.

Kindly submit your wife's videos for condemnation at our next meeting. Thank you.

[Levi Jones]

Re: Sign up today: Gentlemen Against Pornographic Exhibition (GAP

Then we each break seperately, for private intense prayer asking God to clean our minds of what we have witnessed. This usually takes 10-15 minutes.

I must be Truly Blessed®. I can clear my thought through prayer in less than five minutes. My wife never ceases to be thrilled with that ability.

[Warner S. Davidson]

Re: Sign up today: Gentlemen Against Pornographic Exhibition (GAP

WARNING TO WOMEN - THIS POST CONTAINS DISGUSTING CONTENT NOT SUITABLE FOR TRUE CHRISTIAN™ LADIES

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Gentlemen

Could someone please advise me of the next proposed meeting date for G.A.P.E.

I have the aforementioned "filth" for presentation, review and subsequent destruction.

I have since come into possession of another 4.25 hours of newly discovered footage (plus out-takes and bloopers) of disgusting group sex debauchery featuring bi-sexual midget girls being pleasured in a frenzied lesbonic fashion by 6'4" Texan supermodels.
There is also the disgusting and frequent use of industrial sized phallic devices

The full synopsis is far too disturbing to post here

Praise Jesus that we will be the only ones exposed to and forced to endure this Satanic cinematographic catastrophe

I feel that this should be given "urgent" status -

Thank you Brothers

Warner S. Davidson

[Disciple Luke]

Re: Sign up today: Gentlemen Against Pornographic Exhibition (GAP

Brother Warner.

I am kind of thinking that with yourself, Brother Grogan and me, we could should be doing God's work Down Under here in Oz.

Therefore, maybe (due to distance etc) we could should be having G.A.P.E. meetings here maybe monthly - at least.

We could rotate around sites so that we all take a turn at travelling.

What do you think?

My mobile phone number is 0427 666 xxx.

[Warner S. Davidson]

Re: Sign up today: Gentlemen Against Pornographic Exhibition (GAP

Brother Warner.

I am kind of thinking that with yourself, Brother Grogan and me, we could should be doing God's work Down Under here in Oz.

Therefore, maybe (due to distance etc) we could should be having G.A.P.E. meetings here maybe monthly - at least.

We could rotate around sites so that we all take a turn at travelling.

What do you think?

My mobile phone number is 0427 666 xxx.

Brother Luke

This idea has a lot of merit.

A local arm of G.A.P.E. would be far more efficient and would also mean that the Godly Pastors and Elders at Freehold would not have to endure all of the filth and depravity that these recruiting films for Satan portray.
(I mean it is not natural nor in God's plan for one man to be simultaneously fonicating with five bisexual supermodel sluts in the one bed - How ridiculous, unbelievable and disgusting )

However it should be noted that we may need to seek formal approval from the good Pastors in Freehold.

In the interim I shall give you a call to discuss and I will also see if this is something that Brother Snapper would be prepared to be exposed to

Warner S. Davidson

[Disciple Luke]

Re: Sign up today: Gentlemen Against Pornographic Exhibition (GAP

However it should be noted that we may need to seek formal approval from the good Pastors in Freehold.

Yes. Of course. Plus, if they do not trust our classification of this obscene material we could forward all tapes to them for a second opinion. Especially at the beginning of our work so that we know we are all following the same guidelines.

[Seth Campbell]

Re: Sign up today: Gentlemen Against Pornographic Exhibition (GAP

I would like to join. Is it okay that there will be numerous Thursday nights that I am away?

[Warner S. Davidson]

Re: Sign up today: Gentlemen Against Pornographic Exhibition (GAP

I would like to join. Is it okay that there will be numerous Thursday nights that I am away?

Brother Seth I cannot see a problem -

It is important that True Christians(tm) remain abreast of the torrent of lurid and sinful litrature and films which is polluting the minds of young and old alike all over the world.

This way we can ensure that there is no chance of our fine Ministry becoming unwittingly enveloped in Satan's web of sinful productions

[Halleluyah Rob]

Re: Sign up today: Gentlemen Against Pornographic Exhibition (GAP

Such Godly selflessness! Enduring the horrors of pornography for the greater good of mankind! Praise!

I would like to sign up. However, I recommend that during the observations we sit close together and hold hands in a constant state of prayer. I fear that without this, I may not be able to feel comfortable in a state of Jesus' Grace.