[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: How do you get the True Heterosexual Badge

I dont ask for much, I think a badge would be nice.

Ask and ye shall receive. I have granted you two badges which I felt were most appropriate for you.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: How do you get the True Heterosexual Badge

I have punched more queers than I have had hot dinners - I should have this badge as I feel I have earned it.

I think that being a faggot yourself disaqualifies you.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: How do you get the True Heterosexual Badge

I have punched more queers than I have had hot dinners - I should have this badge as I feel I have earned it.

We are quite aware of what the words "punched" and "hot dinner" mean in gay code friend. Nice try homo but Christ is smarter than that.

[Bob4God]

Re: How do you get the True Heterosexual Badge

You ought to be more concerned about getting salvation from JESUS than medals from us.

[CyberYahweh]

Re: How do you get the True Heterosexual Badge

Being a true child of GOD, I've never had the opportunity to lay with womankind; and have, additionally, never spilled my sacred seed upon the foul dirt - in accordance to the judicial statutes of MOSES' judicial laws, and the highly effective and successful Faith-Based conservative abstinence method.

Unfortunately, this leaves me at an impasse, as the Apostle Paul expressly forbade sex, before marriage; and for some irreducibly complex reason, the fervent passion and veracity of my sermon hasn't awarded me the attentions of any womankind...

I fear that, to earn the rites of True Heterosexuality on this BLESSED forum, I'd need to succumb to temptations and inflict my loins upon a female...

Does this make me, not a hetero, but ahetero? By not multiplying children in GOD's name, am I no better than a raping, murdering atheist? Please help!

Is it time to panic?

[Colin Cameron]

Re: How do you get the True Heterosexual Badge

Ask and ye shall receive. I have granted you two badges which I felt were most appropriate for you.

Many thanks Rev, much appreciated.

However, I feel I deserve some more please?

[Didymus Much]

Re: How do you get the True Heterosexual Badge

I've also stopped masturbating on a regular basis, too...

So does masturbating on an irregular basis earn him anything?

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: How do you get the True Heterosexual Badge

Many thanks Rev, much appreciated.

However, I feel I deserve some more please?

Something along these lines?

So does masturbating on an irregular basis earn him anything?

Less-hairy palms and only tunnel vision?

[The Disciple]

Re: How do you get the True Heterosexual Badge

There is a yearly gathering of homers on the South coast of England in a place called Brighton were they gather for a week and spread HIV around the place.
I read somewhere about a park used by the diseased ridden homers for pitching tents on the outskirts of the town called "the camp camp".

I thought a visit to this camp with my KJV Bible could serve as good practice in my search for divine salvation.

Alas my readings fell on deaf ears and not one homer realised that my teachings could help them perhaps avoid eternal damnation.

Not to be put off I decided to help them to dismantle there camping equipment so I drove over the top of there tents with my 4 x 4.

Its certainly not my fault they are late risers.

Leviticus 18:22 Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.

[HTannor]

Re: How do you get the True Heterosexual Badge

To The Disciple: a wonderful first person account of a homer encounter.

With your quick thinking and forceful delivery of your message, I believe you are on the fast track to becoming a True Christian™

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: How do you get the True Heterosexual Badge

There is a yearly gathering of homers on the South coast of England in a place called Brighton were they gather for a week and spread HIV around the place.
I read somewhere about a park used by the diseased ridden homers for pitching tents on the outskirts of the town called "the camp camp".

I thought a visit to this camp with my KJV Bible could serve as good practice in my search for divine salvation.

Alas my readings fell on deaf ears and not one homer realised that my teachings could help them perhaps avoid eternal damnation.

Not to be put off I decided to help them to dismantle there camping equipment so I drove over the top of there tents with my 4 x 4.

Its certainly not my fault they are late risers.

Leviticus 18:22 Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.

Just to be safe, you might want to have a doctor check your engine oil for the AIDS virus.

[Father Maurice Lester]

Re: How do you get the True Heterosexual Badge

I've never had the opportunity to lay with womankind...for some irreducibly complex reason, the fervent passion and veracity of my sermon hasn't awarded me the attentions of any womankind...

Relax son. I have two words for you.



Bible Thumping Blonde.



Call her up and take her on a "date"... she's stopped more hard rubber than the rink boards at Madison Square Gardens and has been waiting about ten years for her boyfriend to actually make an honest woman of her.

Don't be shy, her number is 1-800-IPUT-OUT.



Bless you, my sad sack sectarian,
Father Mo







.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: How do you get the True Heterosexual Badge

Relax son. I have two words for you.



Bible Thumping Blonde.



Call her up and take her on a "date"... she's stopped more hard rubber than the rink boards at Madison Square Gardens and has been waiting about ten years for her boyfriend to actually make an honest woman of her.

Don't be shy, her number is 1-800-IPUT-OUT.



Bless you, my sad sack sectarian,
Father Mo







.

Hey!! That's my fiancee you're talking about there, "father!"