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  • Titus Templeton
    Director of the German "Holy-caust" Evangelical Crusade
    Jesus macht frei
    True Christian™
    • Aug 2010
    • 5912

    #1

    TC-Old songs, New Lyrics! Show your writing Skills!

    Brothers,

    let's use this thread to bring new lyrics to old songs!
    This can be a lot of fun!

    All you have to do is take the old lyrics of songs and transform them into something more Biblical.

    Here is my first attempt!
    For the best experience play the song in the backround and read the new lyrics.



    New Lirics by T.T:

    Baking Pie

    The pie smells well in the oven tonight
    Not a husband to be seen
    My kitchen - a kingdom of isolation
    And it looks like I'm the queen

    The oven is howling like this swirling storm inside
    Couldn't keep it in, heaven knows I've tried
    Let them in, Let them see
    I'm a good wife always have to be
    Conceal, feel, let them know
    Well, now they know

    Baking pie, baking pie
    Can't hold it back anymore
    baking pie, baking pie
    Call my husband and open the door
    I care what they're going to say
    Let the faith be strong
    Science never bothered me anyway

    It's funny how some faith makes everything seem small
    And the fears that once controlled me can't get to me at all
    It's time to see what I can bake
    To test the limits and break through
    No right, no wrong, no rules for me
    I'm free

    Baking Pie, Baking pie
    I am one with God
    Baking Pie, Baking Pie
    You'll might see me cry
    Here I stand and here I stay
    Let God be with me

    God's power flurries through the air into the kitchen ground
    My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around
    And one thought crystallizes like an icy blast
    I'm always going back, the kitchen is in my house

    Baking Pie, Baking Pie
    And I'll rise like the break of dawn.
    Baking Pie, Baking Pie. The perfect wife is here
    Here I stand in the light of day
    Let the faith be strong
    The outside world never bothered me anyway


    -The Parable of the white laundry and the black man
    -Scientific proof that GAY SEX IS UNHYGIENIC!
    -Holocaust Jokes
    -Diarrhea: The Va​ginal Lubrication of the Homosexuals
    -Anne Frank vs. Adolf Hitler: Who was the worse person?
    -10 Reasons why GOD HATES FRANCE!
    -5 Reasons why GOD HATES LEAGUE OF LEGENDS!
    -Today I am declaring War against Woman's Rights!
  • Anne Sayne
    Forum Member
    Forum Member
    • Sep 2016
    • 182

    #2
    Re: TC-Old songs, New Lyrics! Show your writing Skills!

    A favorite for Jesus's Birthday Bash! I changed up some words with George's help.
    White Christmas:
    -------------------------
    I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
    With no black people to be seen
    Where they all run a way
    Somewhere else to play
    Because they were cursed in Genesis 9 18:27

    I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
    All the blacks, yellows, reds, browns have gone away
    With every prayer I say
    May none of the Christmases be gay
    God is about as real as unicorns and dragons.
    Revelation 12:9
    Job 39:9

    Comment

    • Titus Templeton
      Director of the German "Holy-caust" Evangelical Crusade
      Jesus macht frei
      True Christian™
      • Aug 2010
      • 5912

      #3
      Re: TC-Old songs, New Lyrics! Show your writing Skills!

      Originally posted by Anne Sayne View Post
      A favorite for Jesus's Birthday Bash! I changed up some words with George's help.
      White Christmas:
      -------------------------
      I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
      With no black people to be seen
      Where they all run a way
      Somewhere else to play
      Because they were cursed in Genesis 9 18:27

      I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
      All the blacks, yellows, reds, browns have gone away
      With every prayer I say
      May none of the Christmases be gay
      Not bad. I can see some more work going into this. But good for a start!
      -The Parable of the white laundry and the black man
      -Scientific proof that GAY SEX IS UNHYGIENIC!
      -Holocaust Jokes
      -Diarrhea: The Va​ginal Lubrication of the Homosexuals
      -Anne Frank vs. Adolf Hitler: Who was the worse person?
      -10 Reasons why GOD HATES FRANCE!
      -5 Reasons why GOD HATES LEAGUE OF LEGENDS!
      -Today I am declaring War against Woman's Rights!

      Comment

      • SomeRadnomGuy
        Unsaved trash
        • May 2016
        • 10

        #4
        Re: TC-Old songs, New Lyrics! Show your writing Skills!

        Originally posted by Anne Sayne View Post
        A favorite for Jesus's Birthday Bash! I changed up some words with George's help.
        White Christmas:
        -------------------------
        I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
        With no black people to be seen
        Where they all run a way
        Somewhere else to play
        Because they were cursed in Genesis 9 18:27

        I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
        All the blacks, yellows, reds, browns have gone away
        With every prayer I say
        May none of the Christmases be gay
        That's just racist and homopobic.

        Comment

        • Didymus Much
          Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
          • Jun 2010
          • 14076

          #5
          Re: TC-Old songs, New Lyrics! Show your writing Skills!

          Originally posted by SomeRadnomGuy View Post
          That's just racist and homopobic.
          So's the Bible. What's your point?

          Comment

          • Anne Sayne
            Forum Member
            Forum Member
            • Sep 2016
            • 182

            #6
            Re: TC-Old songs, New Lyrics! Show your writing Skills!

            Originally posted by SomeRadnomGuy View Post
            That's just racist and homopobic.
            That's not racist. Racist would be calling a white person a snowman.
            God is about as real as unicorns and dragons.
            Revelation 12:9
            Job 39:9

            Comment

            • Michael Hezekiah Esq
              Unsaved trash, a Rich Joo (Luke 16:24)
              • Sep 2016
              • 256

              #7
              Re: TC-Old songs, New Lyrics! Show your writing Skills!

              Just a reminder of copyright laws as you play your little game. If you need a lawyer to get you some rights, I'll sing along!


              M. Hezekiah, Esq
              Atty at Law
              A half truth is a whole lie.

              Comment

              • WilliamJenningsBryan
                True Christian™
                 
                • Jan 2007
                • 9384

                #8
                Re: TC-Old songs, New Lyrics! Show your writing Skills!

                Originally posted by Michael Hezekiah Esq View Post
                Just a reminder of copyright laws as you play your little game. If you need a lawyer to get you some rights, I'll sing along!


                M. Hezekiah, Esq
                Atty at Law
                Mazel tov Hezekiah, here's what the Bible (KJV1611) says about copyright law:

                For the scripture saith, thou shalt not muzzle the ox that treadeth out the corn. And, The labourer is worthy of his reward.

                - 1 Timothy 5:18
                Irving Berlin was paid handsomely for his "White Christmas" - especially for a jew (and by all accounts now dead). I recon that Jesus would have something to say about continuing to pay his worthless relatives and descendants for doing nothing.
                Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
                brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
                ...and get off my lawn
                sigpic

                Comment

                • Michael Hezekiah Esq
                  Unsaved trash, a Rich Joo (Luke 16:24)
                  • Sep 2016
                  • 256

                  #9
                  Re: TC-Old songs, New Lyrics! Show your writing Skills!

                  To the tune of Havah Nagilah:


                  Hilla-ry Clinton
                  Hilla-ry Clinton
                  Hilla-ry Clinton
                  In twenty sixteen!


                  Hilla-ry Clinton
                  Hilla-ry Clinton
                  Hilla-ry Clinton
                  In twenty sixteen!


                  Donald? Vote for Donald?
                  Donald, na na na na na
                  Donald na na na na na
                  Donald na na na na na
                  Donald na na na na na
                  No no no! No no no! Not gonna vote for him!


                  May my mother and father forgive me for turning one of their favorite songs into a campaign jingle. Ana slach li.
                  A half truth is a whole lie.

                  Comment

                  • Anne Sayne
                    Forum Member
                    Forum Member
                    • Sep 2016
                    • 182

                    #10
                    Re: TC-Old songs, New Lyrics! Show your writing Skills!

                    Originally posted by Michael Hezekiah Esq View Post
                    To the tune of Havah Nagilah:


                    Hilla-ry Clinton
                    Hilla-ry Clinton
                    Hilla-ry Clinton
                    In twenty sixteen!


                    Hilla-ry Clinton
                    Hilla-ry Clinton
                    Hilla-ry Clinton
                    In twenty sixteen!


                    Donald? Vote for Donald?
                    Donald, na na na na na
                    Donald na na na na na
                    Donald na na na na na
                    Donald na na na na na
                    No no no! No no no! Not gonna vote for him!


                    May my mother and father forgive me for turning one of their favorite songs into a campaign jingle. Ana slach li.
                    Get this evil Hellarry Clinton propaganda OFF God's favorite forum! And who even is "Havah Nagilah"? I want to ask him a few questions.
                    God is about as real as unicorns and dragons.
                    Revelation 12:9
                    Job 39:9

                    Comment

                    • WilliamJenningsBryan
                      True Christian™
                       
                      • Jan 2007
                      • 9384

                      #11
                      Re: TC-Old songs, New Lyrics! Show your writing Skills!

                      Originally posted by Anne Sayne View Post
                      Get this evil Hellarry Clinton propaganda OFF God's favorite forum! And who even is "Havah Nagilah"? I want to ask him a few questions.
                      "Havah Nagilah" is supposedly one of those "modern" joo folk songs, and like all of them it is in a minor key and depressing. All that joo Klezmer music is depressing - and I surmise it's because they are still waiting around for a "Messiah". If they ever found Jesus they might just get around to composing music in major keys and be more pleasant to be around.
                      Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
                      brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
                      ...and get off my lawn
                      sigpic

                      Comment

                      • handmaiden
                        Is a good, decent True Christian™ lady
                        True Christian™
                        • May 2010
                        • 11301

                        #12
                        Re: TC-Old songs, New Lyrics! Show your writing Skills!

                        Set to the Beatles' Hey Jude.
                        Hey, Jews, you worship wrong.


                        Take your false faith, and turn to Jesus.


                        It's better to admit to that you were wrong,


                        Then to deny the true Messiah and burn in Hell forever, ever, ever, ever, ever


                        Only Partially Tone-deafily Yours,


                        Handmaiden
                        His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

                        Guns For God and the Economy

                        Comment

                        • Titus Templeton
                          Director of the German "Holy-caust" Evangelical Crusade
                          Jesus macht frei
                          True Christian™
                          • Aug 2010
                          • 5912

                          #13
                          Re: TC-Old songs, New Lyrics! Show your writing Skills!

                          Originally posted by handmaiden View Post
                          Set to the Beatles' Hey Jude.
                          Hey, Jews, you worship wrong.


                          Take your false faith, and turn to Jesus.


                          It's better to admit to that you were wrong,


                          Then to deny the true Messiah and burn in Hell forever, ever, ever, ever, ever


                          Only Partially Tone-deafily Yours,


                          Handmaiden
                          You just did a picasso there, Handmaiden.
                          -The Parable of the white laundry and the black man
                          -Scientific proof that GAY SEX IS UNHYGIENIC!
                          -Holocaust Jokes
                          -Diarrhea: The Va​ginal Lubrication of the Homosexuals
                          -Anne Frank vs. Adolf Hitler: Who was the worse person?
                          -10 Reasons why GOD HATES FRANCE!
                          -5 Reasons why GOD HATES LEAGUE OF LEGENDS!
                          -Today I am declaring War against Woman's Rights!

                          Comment

                          • Joanna Lytton-Vasey
                            True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
                             
                            • Jul 2014
                            • 8382

                            #14
                            Re: TC-Old songs, New Lyrics! Show your writing Skills!

                            That is just lovely, Sister Handmaiden. Do you think we could get Brother Roper Crossburn to record it?
                            Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!

                            Comment

                            • handmaiden
                              Is a good, decent True Christian™ lady
                              True Christian™
                              • May 2010
                              • 11301

                              #15
                              Re: TC-Old songs, New Lyrics! Show your writing Skills!

                              Originally posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey View Post
                              That is just lovely, Sister Handmaiden. Do you think we could get Brother Roper Crossburn to record it?



                              Dear Sister Joanna, thank you for your kind words. I must make a confession, I did not know if Brother Templeton's comment was made to approve or censure.


                              I thought that doing a "Picasso" might have meant that I had dropped something and it shattered into a grouping of disturbed pieces.


                              Non-artistically Inclinedly Yours,


                              Handmaiden
                              His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

                              Guns For God and the Economy

                              Comment

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