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  • Anne Sayne
    Forum Member
    Forum Member
    • Sep 2016
    • 182

    #16
    Re: TC-Old songs, New Lyrics! Show your writing Skills!

    Sister Handmaiden, what a wonderful song! Especially impressed because it comes from the same tune of the band that created the most evil genre of music, rock!
    God is about as real as unicorns and dragons.
    Revelation 12:9
    Job 39:9

    Comment

    • BrotherLarry
      Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
      True Christian™
      • Sep 2014
      • 2249

      #17
      Re: TC-Old songs, New Lyrics! Show your writing Skills!

      I Saw God Standing There (Tune of the Beatles "I Saw Her Standing There")



      Well my soul was unclean
      I was just like Charlie Sheen
      And the way I sinned
      Was way beyond compare
      But I'll never sin, oh my brother
      Since I saw God standing there.

      Well He looked my way
      And I had to pray
      I confessed my sins
      He took them all away
      Now I'll never sin, oh my brother
      oooooh
      Since I saw God standing there.

      Well my soul was cleaned
      Yeah I felt redeemed
      When I felt His hand in mine

      So He cleansed me from lust
      And I knew I could trust
      He would keep my soul and treat me really fair
      Now I'll never sin, oh my brother oooooh
      Since I saw God standing there
      Well since I saw God standing there
      Yeah well since I saw God standing there.
      Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
      “The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

      Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
      Amen and Amen

      Comment

      • Anne Sayne
        Forum Member
        Forum Member
        • Sep 2016
        • 182

        #18
        Re: TC-Old songs, New Lyrics! Show your writing Skills!

        Originally posted by BrotherLarry View Post
        I Saw God Standing There (Tune of the Beatles "I Saw Her Standing There")



        Well my soul was unclean
        I was just like Charlie Sheen
        And the way I sinned
        Was way beyond compare
        But I'll never sin, oh my brother
        Since I saw God standing there.

        Well He looked my way
        And I had to pray
        I confessed my sins
        He took them all away
        Now I'll never sin, oh my brother
        oooooh
        Since I saw God standing there.

        Well my soul was cleaned
        Yeah I felt redeemed
        When I felt His hand in mine

        So He cleansed me from lust
        And I knew I could trust
        He would keep my soul and treat me really fair
        Now I'll never sin, oh my brother oooooh
        Since I saw God standing there
        Well since I saw God standing there
        Yeah well since I saw God standing there.
        Another great replacement of a godless Beatles song! We should go to the store, take all their albums off the shelves, and replace them with a collection of THESE masterpieces! Very impressed, BrotherLarry
        God is about as real as unicorns and dragons.
        Revelation 12:9
        Job 39:9

        Comment

        • Bjorn Jensen
          True Christian™
          True Christian™
          • Apr 2012
          • 2355

          #19
          Re: TC-Old songs, New Lyrics! Show your writing Skills!

          My version of "Hound Dog" by Elvis Pressly

          Sodomite

          You ain't nothin' but a sodomite
          Faggin' all the time
          Well, you ain't goin' to heaven
          And you ain't no friend of mine

          Well you said you were normal
          Well that was just a lie
          Yeah you said you were a Christian
          Well that was just a lie
          Well you ain't gonna live much longer
          and you will soon die in AIDS

          You ain't nothing but a pedophile
          Molestin' all the time
          Well you never loved Jesus
          and you ain't no friend of Him

          Comment

          • BrotherLarry
            Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
            True Christian™
            • Sep 2014
            • 2249

            #20
            Re: TC-Old songs, New Lyrics! Show your writing Skills!

            Whip Her (Tune of "Whip It" - Devo)


            Crack that whip
            Don't let that woman slip
            Catch her doing crack?
            Break your woman's back

            When a magpie comes along
            You must whip her
            Before bad habits last too long
            You must whip her
            When your supper tastes all wrong
            You must whip her

            Now whip her
            Into shape
            Shape it up
            Set her straight
            Go forward
            Move ahead
            You must correct it
            It's not too late
            To whip her
            Whip her good

            When your wife is talking back
            You must whip her
            You will never live it down
            Unless you whip her
            What will your buddies say
            If you don't whip her?

            I say whip her
            Whip her good
            I say whip her
            Whip her good


            Crack that whip
            Give her face a slap
            When she tells you "no"
            Break her little toe

            When problem women come along
            You must whip them
            Just like children going wrong
            You must whip them
            Be inspired by my song
            You must whip them

            Now whip her
            Into shape
            Shape her up
            Don't wait!
            Go forward
            Move ahead
            Let God detect it
            It's not too late
            To whip her
            Into shape
            Shape her up
            Get straight
            Go forward
            Move ahead
            Is she aids infected?
            Then it's too late
            To whip her
            Whip her good.
            Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
            “The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

            Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
            Amen and Amen

            Comment

            • Titus Templeton
              Director of the German "Holy-caust" Evangelical Crusade
              Jesus macht frei
              True Christian™
              • Aug 2010
              • 5912

              #21
              Re: TC-Old songs, New Lyrics! Show your writing Skills!

              Slowly but surely we have enough songs for an entire album.

              Originally posted by Bjorn Jensen View Post
              My version of "Hound Dog" by Elvis Pressly

              Sodomite

              You ain't nothin' but a sodomite
              Faggin' all the time
              Well, you ain't goin' to heaven
              And you ain't no friend of mine

              Well you said you were normal
              Well that was just a lie
              Yeah you said you were a Christian
              Well that was just a lie
              Well you ain't gonna live much longer
              and you will soon die in AIDS

              You ain't nothing but a pedophile
              Molestin' all the time
              Well you never loved Jesus
              and you ain't no friend of Him
              I think we found the first song of the album.
              -The Parable of the white laundry and the black man
              -Scientific proof that GAY SEX IS UNHYGIENIC!
              -Holocaust Jokes
              -Diarrhea: The Va​ginal Lubrication of the Homosexuals
              -Anne Frank vs. Adolf Hitler: Who was the worse person?
              -10 Reasons why GOD HATES FRANCE!
              -5 Reasons why GOD HATES LEAGUE OF LEGENDS!
              -Today I am declaring War against Woman's Rights!

              Comment

              • BrotherLarry
                Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
                True Christian™
                • Sep 2014
                • 2249

                #22
                Re: TC-Old songs, New Lyrics! Show your writing Skills!




                Perhaps this would be an appropriate cover for our album?
                Last edited by BrotherLarry; 03-20-2018, 02:49 AM.
                Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
                “The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

                Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
                Amen and Amen

                Comment

                • Bjorn Jensen
                  True Christian™
                  True Christian™
                  • Apr 2012
                  • 2355

                  #23
                  Re: TC-Old songs, New Lyrics! Show your writing Skills!

                  From Michelle Jackson's "Beat It"

                  Beat Her

                  You told her that she shouldn't do it again
                  She burnt the pot, you had to buy a new one
                  So I say it to you now and my words are really clear
                  Just beat her, just beat her

                  She will run, she will do what she can
                  You want to see blood, be a Christian man
                  You better be tough, be the man in the house
                  So beat her, if she's been bad

                  Just beat her, beat her, beat her, beat her
                  But not until she's defeated
                  Showin' how good and strong is your fist
                  It really matters, that she knows what's right or wrong

                  Just beat her, beat her
                  Just beat her, beat her
                  Just beat her, beat her
                  Just beat her, beat her

                  She is on the run now, better catch her while you can
                  Don't want to be a faggot, you want to be a man
                  You want to stay Christian, better do what you should
                  So beat her, just beat her

                  Comment

                  • Anne Sayne
                    Forum Member
                    Forum Member
                    • Sep 2016
                    • 182

                    #24
                    Re: TC-Old songs, New Lyrics! Show your writing Skills!

                    Originally posted by BrotherLarry View Post
                    [ATTACH]26103[/ATTACH]


                    Perhaps this would be an appropriate cover for our album?
                    That would be a beautiful album cover! I can't wait to see if these end up in stores. You would save thousands of souls with this music
                    God is about as real as unicorns and dragons.
                    Revelation 12:9
                    Job 39:9

                    Comment

                    • BrotherLarry
                      Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
                      True Christian™
                      • Sep 2014
                      • 2249

                      #25
                      Re: TC-Old songs, New Lyrics! Show your writing Skills!

                      Where Our Souls Belong (to the tune of Joe Cocker's Up Where We Belong)


                      God knows what tomorrow brings
                      In this world few souls survive
                      True Christians™ know when the rapture comes
                      Forever, we'll be alive.
                      The road is long
                      There are sinners in our way
                      But we shut them down every day
                      Lord lift us up where we belong
                      Toward the King of Kings
                      Though we don't have wings
                      Lord lift us up where we belong
                      Far from the world below
                      Up where True Christians™ go


                      Some hang on to foolish things
                      Live their lives sinning all day
                      But we have more than here and now
                      No matter what the heathens say

                      The road is long
                      There are catholics in our way
                      But we pray against them every day


                      Lord lift us up where we belong
                      Toward the King of Kings
                      Though we don't have wings
                      Lord lift us up where we belong
                      Far from the world below
                      Up where True Christians™ go


                      Time goes by
                      No need to cry
                      You'll fly up high
                      Unless you're gay


                      Lord lift us up where we belong
                      Toward the King of Kings
                      Though we don't have wings
                      Lord lift us up where we belong
                      Far from the world below
                      Up where True Christians™ go


                      Lord lift us up where we belong
                      Toward the King of Kings
                      Though we don't have wings
                      Lord lift us up where we belong
                      (Fade...)
                      Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
                      “The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

                      Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
                      Amen and Amen

                      Comment

                      • Titus Templeton
                        Director of the German "Holy-caust" Evangelical Crusade
                        Jesus macht frei
                        True Christian™
                        • Aug 2010
                        • 5912

                        #26
                        Re: TC-Old songs, New Lyrics! Show your writing Skills!

                        Ozzy Osbourne - Catholic (Dreamer)



                        Gazing through the window
                        At the Pope outside
                        Wondering will Jesus
                        make him stop
                        Hoping that God will
                        Stop him from abusing them, sometime

                        After all the Pope
                        Is the choosen one
                        And here all these boys
                        Fighting for their lives
                        Watching all of this
                        Repeat itself
                        Makes me sad

                        I'm just a catholic
                        A catholic in the Vatican
                        I'm just a catholic
                        Who dreams of better days

                        I watch them worship Mary every day
                        But it doesn't feel right
                        I'm hoping that this madness ends one day
                        And God brings a sign
                        A better catholicism for those
                        Who will come after us, this time

                        I'm just a catholic
                        A catholic in the Vatican, oh yeah
                        I'm just a Catholic
                        Who dreams of better days

                        My higher power is
                        God or Jesus Christ
                        It does really
                        Matter much to me
                        Without each others help
                        There ain't no hope for catholicism
                        I'm living in a dream
                        A fantasy, oh yeah yeah yeah

                        If only we could stop
                        The celibacy
                        It would be nice if
                        We could stop it now
                        When will all this stupid rules
                        and bigotry, be gone?

                        I'm just a catholic
                        A catholic in the Vatican
                        Today
                        I'm just a Catholic
                        Who dreams of better days
                        Oh yeah
                        I'm just a Catholic
                        Who's searching for
                        The true way, today
                        I'm just a catholic
                        Dreaming to be a True Christian™
                        Oh yeah yeah yeah
                        -The Parable of the white laundry and the black man
                        -Scientific proof that GAY SEX IS UNHYGIENIC!
                        -Holocaust Jokes
                        -Diarrhea: The Va​ginal Lubrication of the Homosexuals
                        -Anne Frank vs. Adolf Hitler: Who was the worse person?
                        -10 Reasons why GOD HATES FRANCE!
                        -5 Reasons why GOD HATES LEAGUE OF LEGENDS!
                        -Today I am declaring War against Woman's Rights!

                        Comment

                        • Daisy Mae Johnson
                          The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
                          Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
                          aka the Biblethumpin Blonde
                          True Christian™
                          • Sep 2006
                          • 15708

                          #27
                          Warning. This Tune Will Get Stuck in Your Head.

                          Do the Donald
                          (Victory Dance)(Sung to the tune of Do the Hustle)



                          Do it!
                          Do it!
                          Do it!

                          Do the Donald!
                          Do the Donald!

                          Do the Donald!
                          Do the Donald!

                          Do the Donald!
                          Do it!
                          Do the Donald!
                          Do the Donald!

                          Do the Donald!
                          Do the Donald!

                          Do the Donald!







                          sigpic

                          Tweet me Here
                          My GODLY Bio Here

                          Comment

                          • Mary Etheldreda
                            Gushing for Jesus
                             
                            • Sep 2011
                            • 23775

                            #28
                            Re: Warning. This Tune Will Get Stuck in Your Head.

                            Originally posted by Daisy Mae Johnson View Post


                            Sister, you've provided a most infectious ear-worm, and I can't stop singing and dancing and praising Jesus for this Inevitable Trump Triumph!

                            Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

                            Comment

                            • BrotherLarry
                              Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
                              True Christian™
                              • Sep 2014
                              • 2249

                              #29
                              Re: TC-Old songs, New Lyrics! Show your writing Skills!

                              Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Catlicks
                              (to the tune of the Willie Nelson song by a similar name)

                              Catlicks ain't easy to love, they smell kind of like mold. .
                              They'd rather give you some guilt than part with their gold.
                              Rosaries, cross buckles and habits of black,
                              A different saint's feast every day.
                              If you don't let him molest you, or play with your kids
                              He'll prob'ly just ride away.

                              Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be catlicks.
                              Don't let 'em wear a crucifix or go to a mass.
                              Make 'em be baptized and paddle their ass.
                              Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be catlicks.
                              'Cos they'll be pedophiles tricking kids with their wiles.
                              Spitting in Jesus' sweet face.

                              Catlicks like kneeling and standing and crossing themselves,
                              Worshipping Mary and keeping saint statues on shelves.
                              Them that don't worship the pope, they truly despise,
                              And sometimes they will fake it
                              He's wrong, won't admit it, his pride won't let him,
                              Tells lies to make you think he's right.

                              Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be catlicks.
                              Don't let 'em wear a crucifix or go to a mass.
                              Make 'em be baptized and paddle their ass.
                              Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be catlicks.
                              'Cos they'll be pedophiles tricking kids with their wiles.
                              Spitting in Jesus' sweet face.
                              Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
                              “The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

                              Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
                              Amen and Amen

                              Comment

                              • BrotherLarry
                                Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
                                True Christian™
                                • Sep 2014
                                • 2249

                                #30
                                Re: TC-Old songs, New Lyrics! Show your writing Skills!

                                Here's a treat with an actual video taking the devil out of Lady Gaga's song, Bad Romance. Here is someone that looks like Sister Mary's sibling singing "God's Romance."


                                Warning: her talent is going to deeply affect you. You'll be shouting before its over.




                                Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
                                “The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

                                Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
                                Amen and Amen

                                Comment

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