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NEW SUPER MARIO BROS WII: homosexual recruiting tool!
Dear Friends,
People scoffed when I proved that Super Mario Galaxy is a homosexual recruiting tool. They remained skeptical when I caught Super Mario Sluggers striking again with their subliminal homosexual propaganda.
But now the critics are silent. The evidence is just too overwhelming. The Mario franchise, like backmasked heavy metal music, is filled with subliminal messages that are turning America's children into Christ-denying, bi-curious, democrat-voting little monsters.
For the Japanese learned their lesson from Pearl Harbor. Never again would they wake the sleeping giant. No, instead they would smother the sleeping giant in his sleep, smothered with a pillow stained with sodomite semen and feces.
Just look at the subliminal messages on the box art of New Super Mario Bros Wii:
I'll start clockwise, at top left:
1. I real life, bullet's aren't black, or even visible in flight. In Mario's escapist homo-utopia, they are a big black phallic symbol, referencing interracial gay sex.
2. The turtle reaching for his groin, which is obscured by a gob of white stuff. The face on the "cloud" has its cheeks stuffed with something. You can guess what.
3. Yoshi looks even more effeminate that usual, and has his mouth at groin height.
4. Prancing mushroom-men are explicity homosexual. Just look at the open shirts and limp wrists. There's a pair of them - no mushroom-woman to be seen.
5. Font is specifically designed to have as many soft round buttock shapes as possible. The "M" and "W" have the most obvious resemblence to the supple, soft-yet-firm buttocks of a somewhat chubby young "twink", but even the "B" and "R" bring jiggling bumcheeks to mind.
6. Every seen grass that looks like the grass in Mario's world? Or dirt that looks like that? No - just another excuses for more buttock-shapes.
7. Turtle is prancing. Nobody just walks in Mario's escapist homo-utopia.
Here is a closeup of some other promotional material for New Super Mario Bros Wii:
1. Two Yoshi's being "mounted". Notice no female Yoshis.
2. Lugi is holding on to the yellow mushroom man's groin.
3. Red yoshi's tounge is between Luigi's legs, commiting oral-anal sex (known as "dining at the O").
4. At bottom, a negro "twink". Notice there are no negress mushrooms.
5. And always the pipe. Mario gets coins when he slides down pipes. Teaching kids prostitution early.
6. Magic Mushrooms make Mario grow bigger. Homosexuals are known to use certain mushrooms as aphrodesiacs.
Also, when Mario finishes a level, he jumps on a flagpole, and with the pole between his legs, his slides down. Then he ends it all with a terrorist fist jab.
It boggles my mind how the perveted sex-maniacs at Nintendo managed to come up with so many deviant ideas. They must do nothing other than give sake-lubricated shiatzu massages to their ladyboy gieshas, and produce homosexual recruiting tools aimed at America's children.
I weep for America.
People scoffed when I proved that Super Mario Galaxy is a homosexual recruiting tool. They remained skeptical when I caught Super Mario Sluggers striking again with their subliminal homosexual propaganda.
But now the critics are silent. The evidence is just too overwhelming. The Mario franchise, like backmasked heavy metal music, is filled with subliminal messages that are turning America's children into Christ-denying, bi-curious, democrat-voting little monsters.
For the Japanese learned their lesson from Pearl Harbor. Never again would they wake the sleeping giant. No, instead they would smother the sleeping giant in his sleep, smothered with a pillow stained with sodomite semen and feces.
Just look at the subliminal messages on the box art of New Super Mario Bros Wii:
I'll start clockwise, at top left:
1. I real life, bullet's aren't black, or even visible in flight. In Mario's escapist homo-utopia, they are a big black phallic symbol, referencing interracial gay sex.
2. The turtle reaching for his groin, which is obscured by a gob of white stuff. The face on the "cloud" has its cheeks stuffed with something. You can guess what.
3. Yoshi looks even more effeminate that usual, and has his mouth at groin height.
4. Prancing mushroom-men are explicity homosexual. Just look at the open shirts and limp wrists. There's a pair of them - no mushroom-woman to be seen.
5. Font is specifically designed to have as many soft round buttock shapes as possible. The "M" and "W" have the most obvious resemblence to the supple, soft-yet-firm buttocks of a somewhat chubby young "twink", but even the "B" and "R" bring jiggling bumcheeks to mind.
6. Every seen grass that looks like the grass in Mario's world? Or dirt that looks like that? No - just another excuses for more buttock-shapes.
7. Turtle is prancing. Nobody just walks in Mario's escapist homo-utopia.
Here is a closeup of some other promotional material for New Super Mario Bros Wii:
1. Two Yoshi's being "mounted". Notice no female Yoshis.
2. Lugi is holding on to the yellow mushroom man's groin.
3. Red yoshi's tounge is between Luigi's legs, commiting oral-anal sex (known as "dining at the O").
4. At bottom, a negro "twink". Notice there are no negress mushrooms.
5. And always the pipe. Mario gets coins when he slides down pipes. Teaching kids prostitution early.
6. Magic Mushrooms make Mario grow bigger. Homosexuals are known to use certain mushrooms as aphrodesiacs.
Also, when Mario finishes a level, he jumps on a flagpole, and with the pole between his legs, his slides down. Then he ends it all with a terrorist fist jab.
It boggles my mind how the perveted sex-maniacs at Nintendo managed to come up with so many deviant ideas. They must do nothing other than give sake-lubricated shiatzu massages to their ladyboy gieshas, and produce homosexual recruiting tools aimed at America's children.
I weep for America.
I've never heard that in all my life.
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