[CultKitty98]

Re: Red vs. Blue: Satan's attempt to Control our Children!

You missed the part where you thank the True Christians™ for the opportunity to come on THEIR forum (that THEY pay the bandwidth and licensing fees for) to tell them what they're doing it wrong.

Because you're not a hypocrite or anything, right?

How much is that? It's a pretty big forum, how much would that cost?
And it's amazing how rude you guys get, but hey... I'm the one going to hell right? If I'm a hypocrite, I'm not the onlyone here. Enjoy life and I'd love it if you wouldn't be rude.
I've stopped... for th emost part...

[Basilissa]

Re: Red vs. Blue: Satan's attempt to Control our Children!

How much is that? It's a pretty big forum, how much would that cost?

We do not accept contributions from unsaved trash, sweetie.

And it's amazing how rude you guys get, but hey... I'm the one going to hell right? If I'm a hypocrite, I'm not the onlyone here. Enjoy life and I'd love it if you wouldn't be rude.

I don't follow. Please explain, what does being rude (or not) has to do with going to Hell (or not)?

I'm really confused, I don't see any type of correlation between these two things.

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Re: Red vs. Blue: Satan's attempt to Control our Children!

How much is that? It's a pretty big forum, how much would that cost?
And it's amazing how rude you guys get, but hey... I'm the one going to hell right? If I'm a hypocrite, I'm not the onlyone here. Enjoy life and I'd love it if you wouldn't be rude.
I've stopped... for th emost part...

Hello dear, let the True Christians handle the finances. No self-respecting Christian would want bloody money, after all. Only money washed in the blood of the Lamn.

Are we rude? Really? Would you call me rude? Like many on here, I'm a wife and mother, and one key thing to being a lady would be the importance of politeness and demureness. Dear Sister Basilissa knows that well; you on the other hand....

[Dem A. Gogue]

Re: Red vs. Blue: Satan's attempt to Control our Children!

In my daily search for internet fads which are offensive to both God and man, I came across a web series known as "Red vs. Blue". At first, I thought that this web series was detailing the eventual dominance of Godly Republicans over lawless Satan-worshiping Democrats, but I was sadly mistaken. "Red vs. Blue" is by far one of the most vile God-denying shows which has ever been promulgated. Now in its tenth season and with over 1 billion views under its belt, I am afraid that it has ensnared literally millions of people into its diabolical ways.

The series, which uses a form of animation based on the Halo Series, is set in a future where humanity has conquered most of space (which we all know is a scientific plot to waste our tax dollars money on frivolous endeavors such as NASA!). The series is about the adventures and misadventures of two distinct groups of soldiers which make up the "Red team" and "Blue team" which often fight each other, or have quests which are nonsensical and do not express the glory of God. The main ensemble of characters are: Sarge, Church, Simmons, Tucker, Grif, Tex, Lopez, Caboose, and Donut. Each one of these characters have actively gone against their God and made a pact with the devil.

Since no True Christian™ should ever watch the show except for pure research, this thread will contain spoilers.


1. Sarge
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Sarge is the leader of the Red team. He is a gruff solider with a non-nonsense attitude who at first glance holds a deep reverence for God in the same way that we here at Landover do. He is observant and believes heavily in the afterlife. While these may, at face value, put him in the realm of being a True Christian™, he does some very questionable actions which lead me to believe he is not True Christian™ material.

First, Sarge is an ardent defender of that cult that has ensnared many brilliant minds, Science. Sarge has a penchant for creating scientific marvels. He built a robot for their team, Lopez, and has not done his best to teach it the ways of God! Secondly, like all members of Red vs. Blue, he wears a composite armor made of a biological and technological hodgepodge. As we know in Deuteronomy 22:11 "Thou shalt not wear a garment of divers sorts, as of woollen and linen together". He does not even seem to be repentant of the fact he is wearing mixed fabric! Finally, Sarge is a fine leader of men who allows a homersexual, Donut, on his team!

2. Church
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Church is the de-facto leader of the Blue Team. He became the leader after murdering his former leader, which violates Exodus 20:13 "Thou shalt not kill". He is an arrogant, self-obsessed, person who has an obsessive compulsive need to follow his girlfriend, Tex, through multiple planes of existence.

Church was accidentally killed early on in the series by Caboose. Church subsequently returns as what Church and the other members of the team believe to be as a Spirit. This is clearly instigating the believe in our children to practice the occult with Ouji boards and other such satanic rituals in order to bring their friends back to life! Why just the other day, a friend of mine found his daughter trying to summon her kitten back to life with an Ouija board. When my friend asked his daughter where she had gotten this idea from, she replied "I got the idea from Church". I was shocked and appalled that the creators of Red Vs. Blue would allow for such a fragrant disregard of Christian values!

Church is later revealed to be an artificial intelligence unit. Being as he promulgated a lie for at least five years, it is no wonder that he ought not to be trusted and if he had a soul would be damned to Hell!

3.Simmons
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Simmons is the second in command at Red Team. He is an intelligent nerd who often seeks the approval of Sarge. Simmons is also the gay lover of Grif.

Simmons's relationship with Grif is a complicated one but clearly one that promotes homosexuality in children. Simmons and Grif often bicker like some secular or Joo married couples do, but they are obviously living their deviant lifestyle. This deviant lifestyle that they are promoting already had one victim within the show, Donut, who was an impressionable young rookie when he joined Red Team, but is now a homosexual. I fear for how many children they have turned homo.

Simons is also part cyborg. He willingly had his God given parts taken out and systematically replaced with synthetic parts. Simmons is therefore doubly guilty of violating Deuteronomy 22:21, since he also has the biomechanical armor that Sarge and all the other characters also have.

4. Tucker
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Tucker is by far the most satanic of all the characters on Red vs. Blue. In the series I counted no more than three hundred violations of the Holy Bible that Tucker is either committing or complacent in committing. Obviously, I will not go over all of them, but rather over the most heinous.

Tucker is technically the leader of the Blue team, but because of his racial inferiority (more on this later), no one views him as the leader. He is an oversexed nigra whose only care in the world is of pleasuring himself or others.

Tucker is the only nigra character on the show. This is clearly his first strike against him. He can often be heard saying some sort of incomprehensible words or imitating the tribal drum beats of his native land, “bow chica bow wow”. On top of that it appears he has an unusual sexual appetite that includes in no certain order, a rock, an alien, and a white woman. Tucker’s nigra prowess (and white’s subsequent demonization) by showing that he is the only one who can use a special sword. This sort of racial inequality should not be allowed on the Internet! He also appears to have a certain affinity towards enhancing the jeep the teams often use to get around. Typical nigra!

As mentioned, Tucker also has an unusual sexual appetite, which includes masturbation, having sex with a rock, sex with an alien, and attempting to have sex with a white woman. He has not been smote for any of these nor has he seemed to had any sort of punishment. Not even ridicule within the show! The only redeeming quality within Tucker is the fact that he seems to regard women as their rightful place, as subservient to men.

5. Grif
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Grif is the least liked team member on Red Team (by Sarge). He is a lazy good for nothing who will often shirk his duties in order to find Oreos.

Grif’s laziness is in clear violation of Proverbs 13:4 “The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied.” As previously mentioned, Grif is also carrying on a clearly homosexual relationship with Simmons to which they both seem unrepentant.

6. Tex
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Tex is the only main female character on the show. She also happens to be the most militarily minded. Out of all the Red and Blue team members, she has the most training and the capacity to inflict untold amounts of violence. She is also Church’s girlfriend.

Tex is unlike many women in the fact that she believes herself to be better than most men. She often berates the members of Team Blue and has fought many of them (and even bested them!). Rather than being content in the kitchen, as women should, it appears that Tex desires to be one of the guys. Even to the point where she comes off as a lesbo and possible a whore.

What the creators of Red vs. Blue do not tell you about Tex is that, since she is a woman outside the home, she is very unhappy and will never find a man who wants her. Instead she will be disregarded to a life of flannel where she must console other women who were too ugly or too independent minded to find a husband.

7. Lopez
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Lopez is a robot that was created by Sarge. While technically free from sin (since he possesses no soul), Lopez does have some problems with his character. First off, Lopez promulgates science over religion in the sense that he exists. Rather than relying upon God to give life, Sarge created his own. If this is not a sin I do not know what is! Secondly, Lopez is a Mexican. Clearly this does not sit well with the mainstream America.

8.Caboose
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Caboose is the newest member of Blue Team. He is a fine upstanding young man who appears to be the most intelligent of all the blue members. Caboose’s intelligence stems from the fact that he will take almost everything literally. I feel that if Caboose were exposed to the Bible he would be a True Christian™ if there ever was one. In short, I like Caboose.

9.Donut
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Finally, there is Donut. Donut is the most recent team member to join Red Team. He is a free-spirited young man who often engages in homoerotic behavior. Donut is the only overt homo character in Red vs. Blue. He often makes crude jokes which good Christian ears should never be told. He also often tries to trick the other members of Red Team into engaging in homosexual acts with him. To my surprise none of them have fallen for his devious homo ways! In some ways I hope Donut will see the error of his ways and become an ex-gay soon


In short, the creators of Red vs. Blue ought to be ashamed of themselves. They promulgate a deviant lifestyle in almost every episode. I would behoove all True Christians™ to boycott not only Red vs. Blue, but any means of delivering this vile spawn of Satan that encourages our youth to worship the Devil, engage in Homosexual behavior, and beastiality!

I agree with you all the way, but I've always wondered. Is it wrong for the US military to kill?

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Red vs. Blue: Satan's attempt to Control our Children!

I agree with you all the way, but I've always wondered. Is it wrong for the US military to kill?

What an interesting thing to wonder. Do you think maybe the US military ought to knit warm socks for America's enemies instead? Kill them with kindness, as it were?

[Clay For Brains]

Re: Red vs. Blue: Satan's attempt to Control our Children!

HOLY F***ING S***!!! THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I HAVE ACTUALLY FOUND A POST THAT KNOWS ABOUT THE CRAP ITS TALKING ABOUT!!! and i tip my hat and give you a bow to that! i can respect that, but i would like to point out a few things about this post that aren't exactly correct: the relationship between Grif and Simmons is friendship... and that it. no homosexuality. unless its gay to have male friends then dear lord help us all.

Caboose is a Gulible idiot. seriously. when i asked the creators of the series how they came up with caboose, they responded by saying "we all got drunk when we wrote the lines for his dialoug, that way he would sound that much more like an idiot."


and with lopez, he is not mexican. if you watched the episode when he was created, the "language" setting was accidently set and then somehow locked to spanish. this was a move to make the series more funny, did i mention the series was a comedy?


church is an AI (Artificial intelligence) or in other words, a Robot, or to make it sound funny: Lopez 2.0; Now in English!


Tucker is the whitest White to ever White. now joking aside, he is not the ONLY ONE who can use the blade, he is just the only one who HAS the blade, and he is the only one who knows how to use it, which in my opinion is for the better, because then it cant be used against him.


about sarges armor, here are the Specs for the Mojiner MK Vl Power Armor, the armor that is worn by everyone, excluding Cabooses helmet which is MK V, and the rest of the armor for everyone except for Cabooses helmet

http://halo.wikia.com/wiki/Mjolnir_Powered_Assault_Armor/Mark_VI

Tex is also a robot.


and i dont know much about doughnut so i wont comment on him. but thats my info on that. i hope it helps

[Des]

Re: Red vs. Blue: Satan's attempt to Control our Children!

Wall of dialog from self-absorbed hedonist who loves the sound of his own voice removed

i hope it helps

It didn't.