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  • Pastor Ezekiel
    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
     
    • Sep 2006
    • 78552

    #1

    Mexican Slut Sues For The Right to Masturbate...AND WINS!

    If THIS story doesn't beat all, then I don't know what does. It seems a wetback whore actually sued her company for the "right" to masturbate and look at satanic porno all day long...AND WON! The queers and perverts are taking over! It's another sign that Jesus is coming soon!


    Brazilian Woman Wins Right To Masturbate At Work

    Ana Catarian Bezerra is a 36-year-old Brazilian woman who suffers from a chemical imbalance that triggers severe anxiety and hypersexuality. Ana, an accountant by day, began to have problems at work because the only way to relieve said anxiety is by masturbating. A lot. Now, after winning a court battle and seeking professional medical help, Ana is allowed to masturbate and watch porn — using her work's computer, no less — legally.

    Ana wasn't always like this, she was worse:

    "I got so bad I would to masturbate up to forty seven-times a day. That's when I asked for help, I knew it wasn't normal."

    Carlos Howert, Ana's doctor, prescribes Ana with a "cocktail" (read: an entire medicine cabinet's worth) of tranquillizers. We're not sure how that "cocktail" doesn't knock Ana out (half a Claritin feels like an elephant tranquillizer to us), but thanks to Dr. Howert's concoction, Ana only has to masturbate around eighteen-times a day.

    So, like, a little less than Elvis Crespo.

    Of course all of this sounds absurd and hilarious to most us but for Ana it's probably anything but. Last April she had to take her employer to court in order to be allowed to masturbate during work hours. Ana won.

    Still, imagine an office full of of scandalized and perverted stares as you exit the bathroom or bend down to pick up a pencil — awkward? Very. Also, as a woman, having a bunch of men knowing you're a clinical nympho probably doesn't help deter unwanted sexual advances.
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
  • Trent Harvey, Jr.
    Ex-hero, almost honorably discharged
    True Christian™
    • Jul 2007
    • 722

    #2
    Re: Mexican Slut Sues For The Right to Masturbate...AND WINS!

    Brazil, also known as "the sexiest nation on Earth", which even has BRA in it's name, is clearly destined for hellfire. It is a land where speedo-wearing mixed-race mongrels invent dances that make crumping look like a waltz, where movies like "Blame it on Rio" are filmed....And they are going to hold the olympics there? That's even worse than the nazi Berlin olympics of 1914!

    PS, if anyone wants to borrow a copy of "Blame it on Rio", I have an old VHS cassette, it still works but parts of it are more worn out than others. If you want to borrow it, I'll need something very valuable as collateral.



    When I say "valuable collateral" I mean your car. With a full tank of gas, please.
    Founder and CEO of Trickle-Down Charities™, LLC.

    Current Project: Bedmates For Billionaires: Biblical eldercare straight from King David
    Goal:
    $500,000 Currently raised: $0.11 DONATE NOW! Yes, we accept Biblecoins!

    True Christians™ believe they they exist to serve the Bible-revealed will of God.
    False Christians believe the Bible exists to serve their will. GOD IS NOT YOUR YES-MAN!

    Comment

    • MisterM
      True Christian™
      True Christian™
      • Mar 2011
      • 1480

      #3
      Re: Mexican Slut Sues For The Right to Masturbate...AND WINS!

      Well, we are talking about Brazil here. Sick and perverted place. I have been there once and got a quite a surprise when I once wanted to pray for one street "girl" in my hotel room. Lets just say that I was sore for two days.
      Romans 1:18 - For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who hold the truth in unrighteousness;

      Comment

      • JUAN GARCIA, repulsive dago queer
        Unsaved trash,unintelligent, undereducated, and religious hating pig
        • Jun 2009
        • 172

        #4
        Re: Mexican Slut Sues For The Right to Masturbate...AND WINS!

        You write so poorly, and express your incapacity for thought so well
        that one
        might wonder if you had ever been in a school. Or if you are not just
        spoofing
        the standard , mental deficiencies of the christians .
        Judgments are prepared for scorners, and stripes for the back of fools. Proverbs 19:29

        Comment

        • Nobar King
          Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
          Christ's Guardian
          True Christian™
          • Sep 2007
          • 23748

          #5
          Re: Mexican Slut Sues For The Right to Masturbate...AND WINS!

          I think Ana is in the wrong line of work.
          Ana, an accountant by day,
          Although, they're not very specific about what she does in the evening.
          May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

          Comment

          • SUV
            True Christian™ Princess
            The Driving Force behind RA12
            Have at it, anytime!
            • Sep 2006
            • 11027

            #6
            Re: Mexican Slut Sues For The Right to Masturbate...AND WINS!

            But it was just in the news that Elvis had Died - in New Jersey!


            Lying secular press anyway. Next thing you know they'll be saying that GOD is Dead

            Comment

            • María Gálvez-Villalobos
              Claims not to be a dago slut
              Unintelligible motor-mouthed Spaniardess; earplugs advised
              • Mar 2011
              • 1307

              #7
              Re: Mexican Slut Sues For The Right to Masturbate...AND WINS!

              I'm no wanna ask, but I will be honest - I have NO idea HOW she manage do this in work at work computer whit all people there working or ...wacthing around she.

              Actially I'm no really wanna know...
              Ex JW and quiet, shy, timid girl who wants to be a True Cristian Lady.
              My favorite verse from the Bible is:
              - A true WITNESSE deliuereth soules: but a deceitfull WITNESSE speaketh lyes.

              Comment

              • Henry Poppendorfer
                Forum Member
                Forum Member
                • May 2011
                • 131

                #8
                Re: Mexican Slut Sues For The Right to Masturbate...AND WINS!

                How ironic that Jesus, who is coming so soon, will NEVER be cumming to filthy things like this. Rest assured, nothing makes Jesus Christ the Lord's infinitely respectable and 1000% heterosexual manhood softer than disgusting, blatant sexual sin! The ONLY kind of pornography the LORD JESUS looks at is, as even the batty liberals like to say, heterosexual missionary position for the purpose of procreation by two married, truly saved Christians! Everything else is as appealing to Jesus as the truth is appealing to liberals, which is to say, it isn't!
                Dr. Henry Poppendorfer's True Christian™ Male Pediatric Health Clinic
                Proudly inspecting and servicing the next generation of GOD-fearing spiritual warriors for JESUS for over two decades! We follow the LORD in the spirit of Mark 10:13 and know it is HIS hand guiding ours! Your son will be raptured good & hard, we guarantee it!

                Comment

                • Ezekiel Bathfire
                  Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
                  Christ's Rottweiler
                   
                  • Jan 2008
                  • 22833

                  #9
                  Re: Mexican Slut Sues For The Right to Masturbate...AND WINS!

                  I'm just wondering if Ana Catarian Bezerra - photo:



                  could perhaps cough into a tissue and send it to Mrs Bathfire.

                  PS I'm surprised to see that she's not wearing really strong spectacles.
                  sigpic


                  “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

                  Author of such illuminating essays as,
                  Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

                  Comment

                  • Jamie_Rholoff
                    Unsaved trash
                    • May 2011
                    • 14

                    #10
                    Re: Mexican Slut Sues For The Right to Masturbate...AND WINS!

                    Did any of you read the part that said "medical condition"?

                    She has a medical condition, folks- Why don't you read up on the exact condition, 'cause it is a VERY real problem.

                    Besides, I don't see a problem with this- It is a very natural thing. (Though I don't think being in a workplace and doing it is. It's a private matter.)

                    Comment

                    • mcmullanbrush
                      Unsaved trash
                      Under Investigation
                      • May 2011
                      • 8

                      #11
                      Re: Mexican Slut Sues For The Right to Masturbate...AND WINS!

                      Originally posted by Jamie_Rholoff View Post
                      Did any of you read the part that said "medical condition"?

                      She has a medical condition, folks- Why don't you read up on the exact condition, 'cause it is a VERY real problem.

                      Besides, I don't see a problem with this- It is a very natural thing. (Though I don't think being in a workplace and doing it is. It's a private matter.)
                      I hear voices in my head telling me to kill women, but I manage to refrain from doing it at work!

                      Comment

                      • SUV
                        True Christian™ Princess
                        The Driving Force behind RA12
                        Have at it, anytime!
                        • Sep 2006
                        • 11027

                        #12
                        Re: Mexican Slut Sues For The Right to Masturbate...AND WINS!

                        Originally posted by Jamie_Rholoff View Post
                        Besides, I don't see a problem with this- It is a very natural thing.
                        Hey, Stinkfinger - tell it to the presbeeterians

                        Comment

                        • Jamie_Rholoff
                          Unsaved trash
                          • May 2011
                          • 14

                          #13
                          Re: Mexican Slut Sues For The Right to Masturbate...AND WINS!

                          Originally posted by SUV View Post
                          Hey, Stinkfinger - tell it to the presbeeterians
                          No need to be angry with the way I live my life.
                          I'm sorry if it makes you uncomfortable.

                          Comment

                          • Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson
                            Pastor of Praise and Worship
                            A True Christian™ Straight Shooter
                            True Christian™
                            • Jul 2009
                            • 3890

                            #14
                            Re: Mexican Slut Sues For The Right to Masturbate...AND WINS!

                            Originally posted by Jamie_Rholoff View Post
                            Did any of you read the part that said "medical condition"?

                            She has a medical condition, folks- Why don't you read up on the exact condition, 'cause it is a VERY real problem.

                            Besides, I don't see a problem with this- It is a very natural thing. (Though I don't think being in a workplace and doing it is. It's a private matter.)
                            I can see it now. Millions and millions of perverts who don't want to work will suddenly come down with this condition.

                            Of course, sickos like yourself defend her watching porn at work without any regard to the Christians around that might be sickened at the thought of this.
                            Praise and worship with Pastor Will. Services at 9 a.m., 11 a.m. and 6 p.m.


                            Contact me. pastorwillsampson at gmail.com

                            Comment

                            • Jamie_Rholoff
                              Unsaved trash
                              • May 2011
                              • 14

                              #15
                              Re: Mexican Slut Sues For The Right to Masturbate...AND WINS!

                              Originally posted by Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson View Post
                              I can see it now. Millions and millions of perverts who don't want to work will suddenly come down with this condition.

                              Of course, sickos like yourself defend her watching porn at work without any regard to the Christians around that might be sickened at the thought of this.
                              Pastor, I specifically stated I DO NOT think it is right to do at work.

                              I, myself do not partake in this activity, but I do not think it is wrong to do in the comfort of your own home.

                              Is this wrong? I'm sorry if it is.

                              Comment

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