July 31 is ex-gay pride month!

[Levi Jones]

This is a time honored tradition in Freehold that our dear friends at the Family Research Council in conjunction with Voice of the Voiceless (We Christians are are poor and persecuted voiceless minority. ) and Equality and Justice for All (Especially us) have decided to recognize.



Along with this guy too. www.paddsolutions.com



Ex-gay pride month

on July 31st. An entire month for us to celebrate you former sodomites on July 31st.

The opening festivities will start with a prayer by one of Landover's ex-gays Brother Harold Porter. He will then give a moving testimony of his days in Turkish saunas.


Followed by a ex-gay pride parade. Where the next speaker, we are very proud to say we have invited civil rights crusader, Antonia Scalia.



After that will be a lunch of quiche or pork ribs. Your choice, but choose carefully.

Once we are finished with lunch, there will be a talent contest. Apparently Pastor Zeke, Brother Jedediah and Professor Bessemer are going to win it with their rendition of Randy Newman's classic "My Little Buttercup".
Don't forget to clap a lot.



After that, Pastor Rune will read a sermon entitled, "Why sodomy is so incredibly wrong. The shocking truth."



Followed by praise and worship lead by Pastor Will Sampson, and Freehold's own rebel son, Country and Western favorite Roper Crossburn.




We will then proceed to an altar call and collection basket passing.

Our ex-gay counselor Dr. Niles will be there to assist any lingering sodomites into getting into an ex-gay therapy.



Finally, our Mayor Johnny Joe Hold will lead the convocation prayer.


After that, we'll toss the football around in a little game of Smear the Queer.

The Eye of the Needle gates open at 11 a.m. leading into the amphitheater only secure section of Freehold (No offense, but we can't have any unsaved wandering the streets of Freehold.)

Make your reservation today for Freehold's Ex-Gay pride month on July 31st. Tickets are limited.

[Bjorn Jensen]

Re: July 31 is ex-gay pride month!

This is excellent views. So what is everyone going to dress up for the Freehold Straight Pride parade this year?

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: July 31 is ex-gay pride month!

I have to say I can't wait.

There is no greater threat to our proud eager young clean limbed youths than the threat of the gaywise

YIC

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: July 31 is ex-gay pride month!

The Ladies of Landover Bible Study group will be on hand to help straighten the ties of those single men marching in the ex-gay pride parade, and to sell copies of the helpful book, "Alfie's Home," in which a young boy learns that he's not really gay, he's just confused.

Profits will go to the Pastor's Charity In Action In Las Vegas fund.

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: July 31 is ex-gay pride month!

A reminder to my fellow Ex-Queers of Landover:

Two weeks prior to the commencement of this wonderful celebration, your annual Ex-Gay Re-Certification begins on July 17th. Once a year, we ensure that you continue to only let the warm love of Jesus inside you, nothing else.

Pastor Zeke has provided a spare room at the estate in order to avoid any interruptions. I will meet with each of you individually, one ex-homo per evening. The examinations and tests will be both physical and oral. Be prepared to endure the pain and suffering of recalling the events during your time as a sissy; it is healthy to remember just how wicked you were and the tears of Jesus as He watched your degenerate and filthy sin.

Sessions will be a minimum of two hours, but could run longer, so pack an overnight bag just in case. Be certain you have bathed, shaved and groomed yourselves in order to avoid any false positives of gayness during the testing. Dr. Niles will notify you of your scheduled time and date.

In Christ

[GodBlessUs]

Re: July 31 is ex-gay pride month!

This sounds like a wonderful event! While I can't attend, I hope all who do have a great time!

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: July 31 is ex-gay pride month!

Sessions will be a minimum of two hours, but could run longer, so pack an overnight bag just in case. Be certain you have bathed, shaved and groomed yourselves in order to avoid any false positives of gayness during the testing. Dr. Niles will notify you of your scheduled time and date.

Please be aware that (as is usual with any form of exposure therapy) the intensity of these session is significant and you must confirm and affirm that you have no pre existing heart conditions or suffer from any form of panic disorder or I.B.S.

With this in mind, I look forward to fellow shipping with you all in the love of Christ.

YIC

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: July 31 is ex-gay pride month!

I've invited a farmer I read about from North Carolina. He'll be in the Freehold Parade too, just to spite the liberal hatemongers.

Hope Mills officials receive complaints about offensive parade float

HOPE MILLS - Several spectators at the Hope Mills Fourth of July parade have complained to town officials that they're offended by a float that appeared in the parade Thursday.

The incident is prompting officials to review the town's parade application process later this month.

In the parade that went through downtown Hope Mills, a float carrying a bed full of watermelons was attached to a John Deere tractor. A Confederate flag was attached to the back. On each side, there were two small white signs. They said "White History Month" and "hug wht ppl."

Town officials have received about a dozen phone calls or emails about the float. Others have voiced concerns on the Facebook page of the town's Parks and Recreation Department as well as on social media.

The float was one of eight entered by Donnie Spell in Thursday's parade, said Kenny Bullock, director of the Parks and Recreation Department.

Spell could not be reached for comment Friday.

Bullock said Friday he had asked a member of Spell's family to take the signs down before the parade started Thursday morning. He said he does not know why they did not comply with the request.

He learned the signs were still on the tractor midway through the parade when people started calling his cell phone, he said.

Hope Mills Mayor Jackie Warner said she received a few phone calls and an email about the float. She did not see the float during Thursday's festivities because she was part of the parade. She later saw a photo of the float.

"I believe we've got to make sure we're sensitive to all people's feelings," she said.

The spectator who sent her the email said the float is not representative of the Hope Mills community. She agreed and said residents should not have to see a float they find offensive in the parade.

"Our town has become more diverse," she said Friday.

All floats in town parades are entered through the Parks and Recreation Department, Bullock said. He said the application process includes a brief description of what a float will include. Those signs were not included in Spell's application, he said.

Bullock said Spell has entered tractors in the town's parades, which also includes a Christmas parade, for years.

The board plans to review the application process to ensure it does not happen again, Warner and Bullock said.

Warner said the discussion will be added to the commissioners' July 15 meeting.

Bullock said recreation officials will make recommendations to the commissioners about how to better screen floats in the future.

[Jedediah]

Re: July 31 is ex-gay pride month!

My Testimony
-Jed Oglethorpe

I was an effeminate young man who left a broken home at 18 to "find myself" on the midwest truck stop circuit. Quickly gaining notoriety as the I-35 "power bottom" with the hungriest butt, I began turning tricks and appearing in low-budget gay porn films under the screen name "Stretch." My chosen career path required me to inject muscle relaxants and anesthetics directly into my sphincter so that I could accommodate the objects being inserted into my rectum on a daily basis.

Then one day there was a loud 'POP' as something snapped on the inside, and I lost consciousness. I awoke alone in the bathroom of the trailer in a pool of blood, feces and yellow bile, unable to get back on my feet. I had blown out my O-ring. I had hit rock bottom. It was then that I looked up, and the LORD made His face to shine upon me.



The stain on the wall next to the toilet was surely a sign from the LORD of hosts. On October 16, 1998, at 2:34 in the afternoon, I gave my life over to Jesus and accepted Him as my personal LORD and Savior, and I have never looked back. I called up the first Independent Baptist Church I found in the phonebook, and one of the younger Pastors from Landover came to pick me up and get me enrolled in their Ex-Gay treatment program. Today, I am a happily married True Christian™ with a wife and five sons, walking upright in righteousness and perfection.

When I join Jesus in Heaven, my new glorified body will be restored (Isaiah 35:3-5). However, I will have to wear diapers as long as I still live in this earthly body because the decisions I made before entering into a personal relationship with Christ resulted in a prolapsed rectum. As a newly minted Ex-Gay©, I would often yearn for a ham-sized, hairy-knuckled fist buried arm-deep into my rectum. Then I would reflect on the following verse of Scripture.

II Corinthians 5:17
Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

These days, I realize that the most febrile and frenzied anal pounding pales in comparison to the fulfillment I get from Jesus. I pray that all homosexurals will come to realize what I have: The satisfaction afforded by having your anus filled with strange men's semen is nothing compared to the sense of peace and joy afforded by having your heart filled with Christ's love.

[Levi Jones]

Re: July 31 is ex-gay pride month!

My Testimony
-Jed Oglethorpe

I was an effeminate young man who left a broken home at 18 to "find myself" on the midwest truck stop circuit. Quickly gaining notoriety as the I-35 "power bottom" with the hungriest butt, I began turning tricks and appearing in low-budget gay porn films under the screen name "Stretch." My chosen career path required me to inject muscle relaxants and anesthetics directly into my sphincter so that I could accommodate the objects being inserted into my rectum on a daily basis.

Then one day there was a loud 'POP' as something snapped on the inside, and I lost consciousness. I awoke alone in the bathroom of the trailer in a pool of blood, feces and yellow bile, unable to get back on my feet. I had blown out my O-ring. I had hit rock bottom. It was then that I looked up, and the LORD made His face to shine upon me.



The stain on the wall next to the toilet was surely a sign from the LORD of hosts. On October 16, 1998, at 2:34 in the afternoon, I gave my life over to Jesus and accepted Him as my personal LORD and Savior, and I have never looked back. I called up the first Independent Baptist Church I found in the phonebook, and one of the younger Pastors from Landover came to pick me up and get me enrolled in their Ex-Gay treatment program. Today, I am a happily married True Christian™ with a wife and five sons, walking upright in righteousness and perfection.

When I join Jesus in Heaven, my new glorified body will be restored (Isaiah 35:3-5). However, I will have to wear diapers as long as I still live in this earthly body because the decisions I made before entering into a personal relationship with Christ resulted in a prolapsed rectum. As a newly minted Ex-Gay©, I would often yearn for a ham-sized, hairy-knuckled fist buried arm-deep into my rectum. Then I would reflect on the following verse of Scripture.

II Corinthians 5:17
Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

These days, I realize that the most febrile and frenzied anal pounding pales in comparison to the fulfillment I get from Jesus. I pray that all homosexurals will come to realize what I have: The satisfaction afforded by having your anus filled with strange men's semen is nothing compared to the sense of peace and joy afforded by having your heart filled with Christ's love.

Inspired testimony, brother. Oh praise God.
We lift you up before the Mercy Seat that sits in Holy of Holies. The High Priest Jesus anoints you in the blood of the goat and the bullock.
Leviticus 16:1-34

[Levi Jones]

Re: July 31 is ex-gay pride month!

I wonder if they are going to have ex-gay pride month next year? I know we will celebrate it, but the event has been stricken from FRC site as well as from the VOTV site.

It's like they want to pretend it never happened.

[HeHasCometh]

Re: July 31 is ex-gay pride month!

Ex-gay? But you are born gay, so how could you stop being that? I don't understand, the Bible clearly states that 'Some people are really gay' (Isaias:18)

[Basilissa]

Re: July 31 is ex-gay pride month!

Ex-gay? But you are born gay, so how could you stop being that? I don't understand, the Bible clearly states that 'Some people are really gay' (Isaias:18)

No, the Holy Bible does not say that. First of all, there is no book in the Holy Bible entitled "Isaias." (There is Isaiah, though, but you won't find anything in support of the gay abomination there). Second, God hates gays, and He says so in His Holy Scripture (Leviticus 18:22, 20:13). Case closed.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: July 31 is ex-gay pride month!

Ex-gay? But you are born gay, so how could you stop being that? I don't understand, the Bible clearly states that 'Some people are really gay' (Isaias:18)

Please make a thread of your own in the "Introductions" section of the forum, so that we can properly greet you. Tell us about yourself, your church, and how you came to find Jesus.

And if you're here to flame us, better take a look at THIS before making an even bigger ass out of yourself.

I will pray that the Holy Spirit enter you and chase the demons out of your rectum and let Jesus fill you with His Grace. If you use your God-given free will to reject Christ and His temporary death on the cross for my sins, then you are sending yourself to hellfire.

[Thomas Taylor]

Re: July 31 is ex-gay pride month!

Ex-gay? But you are born gay, so how could you stop being that? I don't understand, the Bible clearly states that 'Some people are really gay' (Isaias:18)

Listen up denmarker. Homers are not born. They choose to like people of the same genital order. God, the Real One, points out very clearly in His Book, the Holy Bible KJV 1611, what is to be done with abominations:

He tells us to keep you out of our homes -

Deuteronomy 7:26

Neither shalt thou bring an abomination into thine house, lest thou bee a cursed thing like it: but thou shalt vtterly detest it, and thou shalt vtterly abhorre it, for it is a cursed thing.

How do I know you are an abomination? - God tells me of course:

Levticus 18:22

Thou shalt not lie with mankinde, as with womankinde: it is abomination.

And what, pray tell, does God tell us to do with abominations? - Kill you of course:

Leviticus 20:13

If a man also lie with mankind, as hee lyeth with a woman, both of them haue committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shalbe vpon them.


See, it's all very simple. Now, stop cherry picking, pick up your and start reading. Who knows, perhaps you might finally find the Redemption you so desperately seek.

I will say a few words for you in my prayers.