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  • #61
    Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS!

    76. Perfumed soap (other than carbolic) softens and weakens the skin and allows airborne AIDS germs to enter. Never, ever use it below the waist.
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    “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

    Author of such illuminating essays as,
    Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

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    • #62
      Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS!

      77. Contemporary furniture. All of those vast, smooth surfaces are ideal breeding grounds for the AIDS germs.
      This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

      Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance

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      • #63
        Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS!

        78. Pajamas. Not pajamas in general, but, particularly, letting your child think it is OK to go outside in his sleepwear. Children should NOT be going to school in their underwear. Some parents are lax in this department, however, and their kids are at risk of falling prey to the gay teachers or other individuals in positions of authority. Then they get the AIDS.

        Also, young boys should only wear sleepwear in manly colors (blue, green, certain shades of plad, manly houndstooth). Giving your child pajamas that are pink or red or have flowers on them will turn him into a sissy boy.
        May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

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        • #64
          Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS!

          79. Did anyone mention techno music, yet? Be alert to the music your teen listens too. If he plays too much Daft Punk or other techno music late at night that might mean that he's practicing being a homo.

          If the problem is your neighbor's loud techno music parties that last late into the night, it's probably a den of homers. Either call the cops and have them evicted, or move. Moving's probably a better idea, because the apartment is probably infected already.

          80. Raves: See rule 79.

          81. Glowsticks: See rule 80.
          May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

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          • #65
            Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS!

            82: Door Knobs and other surfaces in the public. I suggest always wearing plastic gloves when you are out and about. Those white face masks are probably a good idea too.
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            • #66
              Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS!

              I once heard homers insert glowsticks into their rectums so the gerbil knows which way to go. Does anyone know if there is any truth to that?
              Let Jesus Christ Wash You Clean
              in 2016

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              • #67
                Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS!

                Aren't they like bats? Can't they see in the dark? Or would that be moles?
                May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

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                • #68
                  Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS!

                  #82: Opening or downloading an attachment in an email sent to you by a sodomite.
                  O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



                  God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

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                  • #69
                    Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS!

                    83 Using a telephone that's not cordless.
                    Matthew:
                    5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
                    5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
                    10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
                    10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


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                    • #70
                      Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS!

                      85. I've started buying my shoes online. There are websites that ship for free, and they take anything back, so there's no hassle. It's nice knowing that I'm not trying on some shoes that someone else had tried on already.

                      That said, I recommend that True Christians avoid the Goodwill used clothing stores. They are good charities, and I suspect that they wash (or spray) the clothes, but you never know who owned them before that. Just be safe and buy your clothes new, preferably sealed in plastic.
                      May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

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                      • #71
                        Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS!

                        86. Avoid buying diamond jewelry. Diamonds are mined by African negroes, and most of them have aids. If you must buy diamonds, take them to a Landover minister immediately so that the Brother can pray over them and remove their filthy diseases.

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                        • #72
                          Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS!

                          Scaremongering

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                          • #73
                            Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS!

                            Originally posted by commie!commie!commie! View Post
                            Scaremongering
                            Would you please rewrite that in a complete sentence? Are you saying that sodomite scaremongering can cause people to catch the AIDS? I hadn't thought of that, but you could be right.
                            This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

                            Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance

                            sigpic

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                            • #74
                              Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS!

                              Originally posted by Pastor Isaac Peters View Post
                              Would you please rewrite that in a complete sentence? Are you saying that sodomite scaremongering can cause people to catch the AIDS? I hadn't thought of that, but you could be right.
                              No, the point I am trying to get accross is that you are scaremongering.
                              Everyone knows you can't get aids from talking to a homosexual etc......

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                              • #75
                                Re: AIDS : THE FACTS - 101 ways YOU could catch the AIDS!

                                #87 by continuing going to the försaken landover baptist church instead of joining the church of satan.

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