Hello Ladies and Gentlemen

[Severe Husband]

Hello, I'm a christian husband from Landover who has just recently found this blessed website. I'm really happy to find people that serve God the way that I do. I found the church thanks to my family, but I have started to follow it radically when my wife started to get out of control. Then, I started the beatings, and sometimes, when she really screws something, I make her undress and I kick her vagina several times, also using my knees.

I hope that I can grow a lot as a Christian here.

[Alvin Moss]

Re: Hello Ladies and Gentlemen

A cautious welcome to you, friend. I will overlook the diverse red flags. Tell us about your experiences with Jesus. What Landover are you from? I didn't know there were others. What is your congregation? Who is your pastor?

[Basilissa]

Re: Hello Ladies and Gentlemen

Hello, I'm a christian husband from Landover who has just recently found this blessed website. I'm really happy to find people that serve God the way that I do. I found the church thanks to my family, but I have started to follow it radically when my wife started to get out of control. Then, I started the beatings, and sometimes, when she really screws something, I make her undress and I kick her vagina several times, also using my knees.

I'm confused, dear. You don't allow your wife to screw things? So, you prefer all of your nuts and bolts to just dangle all over the place? What about bulbs, or jelly jars, is she not allowed to screw and unscrew them, either? That's so screwed! Or do you have a handy man who does all of your wife's screwing for you? (I'm sure your wife would like that).

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hello Ladies and Gentlemen

Hello, I'm a christian husband from Landover who has just recently found this blessed website. I'm really happy to find people that serve God the way that I do. I found the church thanks to my family, but I have started to follow it radically when my wife started to get out of control. Then, I started the beatings, and sometimes, when she really screws something, I make her undress and I kick her vagina several times, also using my knees.

I hope that I can grow a lot as a Christian here.

This is called the INTRODUCTION section of the forum for a reason. Please tell us about yourself, your Church, and your walk with Christ Jesus. Minor details about how you discipline your wife are not really that important.

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

[Witch Hammer]

Re: Hello Ladies and Gentlemen

Hello, I'm a christian husband from Landover who has just recently found this blessed website. I'm really happy to find people that serve God the way that I do. I found the church thanks to my family, but I have started to follow it radically when my wife started to get out of control. Then, I started the beatings, and sometimes, when she really screws something, I make her undress and I kick her vagina several times, also using my knees.

I hope that I can grow a lot as a Christian here.

The title of this thread concerns me...we all know that Gentlemen come first...and ladies not at all!

Your priorities are @$$-backward, mister!

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Hello Ladies and Gentlemen

Kicking your wife in her private area seems awful mean, but I guess it's not my place to tell another man how to keep order in his household.

But you can catch more flies with honey, you know.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Hello Ladies and Gentlemen

Just to be clear, that honey business is a metaphor. Please don't put honey on your wife's private area.

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Re: Hello Ladies and Gentlemen

A cautious welcome to you sir. But I echo another person's concerns -- Why are ladies put first. We are the lesser being to men, who are our masters, owners, and reason we get to heaven (through childbirth)! Please change it ASAP!

Yours in Christ,
Elizabeth

[Artofburning]

Re: Hello Ladies and Gentlemen

Your wife spiraling out of control is less of a reflection of her than it is of you. If you were truly in control, then there wouldn't have been a problem.