Please help me, I've been injected by Satan

[cheryl-the-deathgirl]

Hi, my name is Cheryl and I am 20 years old. My father and my mother and my brother died in a plane accident when I was 5 years old and since then I have been living in despair. I was kidnapped when I was 10 and held by a Devil cult where my body has been injected by the Soul of Satan, and now I have Satan inside my body! Since then my hair has been changing colors every day and my eyes too. I can no longer live among normal humans because I have the Devil's soul inside me and my presence will cause death and despair. Please rescue me!

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Please help me, I've been injected by Satan

You need to stop drinking insane amounts of alcohol. Never ever do this with Alcoholics Anonymous though!

Since you are a 20 year old girl without a husband you need to stop thinking and ask your father to arrange a husband for you.

[Alvin Moss]

Re: Please help me, I've been injected by Satan

Hi, my name is Cheryl and I am 20 years old. My father and my mother and my brother died in a plane accident when I was 5 years old and since then I have been living in despair. I was kidnapped when I was 10 and held by a Devil cult where my body has been injected by the Soul of Satan, and now I have Satan inside my body! Since then my hair has been changing colors every day and my eyes too. I can no longer live among normal humans because I have the Devil's soul inside me and my presence will cause death and despair. Please rescue me!

This smacks of false testimony.

[Basilissa]

Re: Please help me, I've been injected by Satan

This smacks of false testimony.

I know, right? I hear that there actually are plenty of people who lie on the Internet - aren't they afraid of God's punishment for lying?

[Des]

Re: Please help me, I've been injected by Satan

So, no family you say? I might be able to provide guidance if you are sincere. Tell me, have you ever worked in the domestic service industry, and are you allergic to latex?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Please help me, I've been injected by Satan

Hi, my name is Cheryl and I am 20 years old. My father and my mother and my brother died in a plane accident when I was 5 years old and since then I have been living in despair. I was kidnapped when I was 10 and held by a Devil cult where my body has been injected by the Soul of Satan, and now I have Satan inside my body! Since then my hair has been changing colors every day and my eyes too. I can no longer live among normal humans because I have the Devil's soul inside me and my presence will cause death and despair. Please rescue me!

Listen Hop Sing, all those things that happened to you happened for a reason. The reason is most likely because you're a slant who worships a fat chinaman, but my point is IT IS UP TO JESUS what happens to you.

"For the children being not yet born, neither having done any good or evil, that the purpose of God according to election might stand, not of works, but of him that calleth. .... For he saith to Moses, I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion. So then it is not of him that willeth, nor of him that runneth, but of God that sheweth mercy. For the scripture saith unto Pharaoh, Even for this same purpose have I raised thee up, that I might shew my power in thee, and that my name might be declared throughout all the earth. Therefore hath he mercy on whom he will have mercy, and whom he will he hardeneth. Thou wilt say then unto me, Why doth he yet find fault? For who hath resisted his will? Nay but, O man, who art thou that repliest against God? Shall the thing formed say to him that formed it, Why hast thou made me thus? Hath not the potter power over the clay, of the same lump to make one vessel unto honour, and another unto dishonour? What if God, willing to shew his wrath, and to make his power known, endured with much longsuffering the vessels of wrath fitted to destruction." -- Romans 9:11-22

You need to get down on your little yellow knees RIGHT NOW and start begging Jesus to save you from eternal damnation.