[Thomas Taylor]

Re: Hi I am Abby

My dearest Abby,


I am astounded at the progress you are making in becoming part of our fellowship, well done. I have only one question. Are you an Ethiopian? I sure hope not because God really does not like them.


2 Chronicles 14:12


“So the LORD smote the Ethiopians before Asa, and before Judah; and the Ethiopians fled.”


I do so hope that you are not one of them.


YIC


TT
P.S. I have been recently bereaved

[BrotherLarry]

Re: Hi I am Abby

My dearest Abby,

TT
P.S. I have been recently bereaved

Abby,


Yes, Brother Tom was so bereaved it is indescribable. I've never seen such strength during grief. Why, just moments after his wife's untimely murder - um, death - he went on an extended camping trip, saw all the sights in NY City, found time to witness to the heathens in darkest Peru, and has just been a shining example of the ways Christ can sustain us in times of sorrow. Yes, his sojourn in mourning is miraculous.

[Abby Rant]

Re: Hi I am Abby

My dearest


TT
P.S. I have been recently bereaved

Could I ever be so lucky! I am overwhelmed

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Hi I am Abby

Welcome, Miss Rant, to our friendly forums! I'm curious how you could find a working computer there in Africa, knowing how poor even the television reception is.

[Abby Rant]

Re: Hi I am Abby

Welcome, Miss Rant, to our friendly forums! I'm curious how you could find a working computer there in Africa, knowing how poor even the television reception is.

My father is a politician. He embezzles foreign aid so that we can live well

[Basilissa]

Re: Hi I am Abby

My father is a politician. He embezzles foreign aid so that we can live well

Are you a relative of that Nigerian prince who was supposed to send me millions of dollars? I'm still waiting for that, you know.

[Abby Rant]

Re: Hi I am Abby

Are you a relative of that Nigerian prince who was supposed to send me millions of dollars? I'm still waiting for that, you know.

No. But I have heard of Prince Tomonto. He is a good man and possibly of the faith.
I hope he sends you the money soon. Is it payment for your rape or child support.

[Basilissa]

Re: Hi I am Abby

No. But I have heard of Prince Tomonto. He is a good man and possibly of the faith.
I hope he sends you the money soon. Is it payment for your rape or child support.

Oh, the letter said that he simply wanted to share the inheritance from his father with me, out of the sheer goodness of his heart?

[Abby Rant]

Re: Hi I am Abby

Oh, the letter said that he simply wanted to share the inheritance from his father with me, out of the sheer goodness of his heart?

You r truly blessed

[Roland]

Re: Hi I am Abby

My father is a politician. He embezzles foreign aid so that we can live well

Hello Abby,

Non-suprisingly your behaviour is frowned upon a bit. This is a Christian forum. Though Embezzling money and giving (foreign private) aid could be a prime objective for politicians, it is not a Christian thing to do (as far as I know).

Kind regards,

Roland

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Hi I am Abby

Non-suprisingly your behaviour is frowned upon a bit. This is a Christian forum. Though Embezzling money and giving (foreign private) aid could be a prime objective for politicians, it is not a Christian thing to do (as far as I know).

Fortunately, Roland, the Donald will ensure that there won't be any more foreign aid for her father to embezzle. By the way, have you noticed that African politicians never call it stealing? Embezzlement implies some sort of skill and suggests that nobody knows you're doing it. Any self-respecting embezzler would not allow his daughter, however dumb she might be, to brag about it.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Hi I am Abby

Hello Abby,

Non-suprisingly your behaviour is frowned upon a bit. This is a Christian forum. Though Embezzling money and giving (foreign private) aid could be a prime objective for politicians, it is not a Christian thing to do (as far as I know).

Kind regards,

Roland

Let's not be too hasty. An honest nigra is as hard to come by as a celibate priest. They're anomalies in their cultures, and are probably at great risk whenever they refuse to toe the party line. We know negros are generally lazy and don't work hard, but we also know the occasional one can charm and entertain decent society. Nevertheless, they are by nature thieves. For one of them to admit this to a community of God Fearing Americans is a show of respect. I suggest we wait and see what kind of person this one negress is. She may be one of those few who are a credit to her race.

Abby, I know negroes like to cook and they like to eat and they certainly like to fill up the "trunk" with ample "junk," but how do you get maple syrup for your pancakes there?

[Thomas Taylor]

Re: Hi I am Abby

Abby,


Yes, Brother Tom was so bereaved it is indescribable. I've never seen such strength during grief. Why, just moments after his wife's untimely murder - um, death - he went on an extended camping trip, saw all the sights in NY City, found time to witness to the heathens in darkest Peru, and has just been a shining example of the ways Christ can sustain us in times of sorrow. Yes, his sojourn in mourning is miraculous.

Yes Brother,
The number of times we got down on our knees to minister to the homo masses in darkest Peru were many, but we came through unscathed and taught many hundreds the Love of Christ.


YIC
Tommy

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Hi I am Abby

You know, I'm not one to talk out of school, but some of you have surely heard the rumors going around that there might be somebody in our organization who has been promoting Unsaved Trash to the rank of Forum Member in exchange for certain, um, considerations.

Far be it from me to suggest dear Abby might have benefited from such an arrangement, but it is interesting that she only just joined us on May 15, and here she already is enjoying a rank it takes some people months to earn.


Perhaps Abby is just blessed with a lot of qualities the Lord finds pleasing.