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  • Thomas Taylor
    Forum Member
    Forum Member
    • Oct 2012
    • 1486

    #46
    Re: Hi I am Abby

    My dearest Abby,


    I am astounded at the progress you are making in becoming part of our fellowship, well done. I have only one question. Are you an Ethiopian? I sure hope not because God really does not like them.


    2 Chronicles 14:12


    “So the LORD smote the Ethiopians before Asa, and before Judah; and the Ethiopians fled.”


    I do so hope that you are not one of them.


    YIC


    TT
    P.S. I have been recently bereaved
    Isaiah 66:15

    For behold, the Lord wil come with fire, and with his charets like a whirlewinde, to render his anger with furie, and his rebuke with flames of fire.

    Comment

    • BrotherLarry
      Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
      True Christian™
      • Sep 2014
      • 2263

      #47
      Re: Hi I am Abby

      Originally posted by Thomas Taylor View Post
      My dearest Abby,

      TT
      P.S. I have been recently bereaved

      Abby,


      Yes, Brother Tom was so bereaved it is indescribable. I've never seen such strength during grief. Why, just moments after his wife's untimely murder - um, death - he went on an extended camping trip, saw all the sights in NY City, found time to witness to the heathens in darkest Peru, and has just been a shining example of the ways Christ can sustain us in times of sorrow. Yes, his sojourn in mourning is miraculous.
      Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
      “The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

      Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
      Amen and Amen

      Comment

      • Abby Rant
        Forum Member
        Forum Member
        • May 2017
        • 30

        #48
        Re: Hi I am Abby

        Originally posted by Thomas Taylor View Post
        My dearest


        TT
        P.S. I have been recently bereaved
        Could I ever be so lucky! I am overwhelmed
        Matthew 11:28
        Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

        Comment

        • Mary Etheldreda
          Gushing for Jesus
           
          • Sep 2011
          • 23775

          #49
          Re: Hi I am Abby

          Welcome, Miss Rant, to our friendly forums! I'm curious how you could find a working computer there in Africa, knowing how poor even the television reception is.

          Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

          Comment

          • Abby Rant
            Forum Member
            Forum Member
            • May 2017
            • 30

            #50
            Re: Hi I am Abby

            Originally posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
            Welcome, Miss Rant, to our friendly forums! I'm curious how you could find a working computer there in Africa, knowing how poor even the television reception is.

            My father is a politician. He embezzles foreign aid so that we can live well
            Matthew 11:28
            Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

            Comment

            • Basilissa
              South of the Border outreach program
              True Christian™
               
              • Mar 2013
              • 12989

              #51
              Re: Hi I am Abby

              Originally posted by Abby Rant View Post
              My father is a politician. He embezzles foreign aid so that we can live well
              Are you a relative of that Nigerian prince who was supposed to send me millions of dollars? I'm still waiting for that, you know.
              God created fossils to test our faith.

              * * *

              My favorite LBC sermons:
              True Christians are Perfect!
              True Christian™ Love.
              Salvation™ made Easy!
              You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
              Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
              Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
              Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
              Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
              The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
              Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
              God HATES Rational Thinking!
              True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

              Comment

              • Abby Rant
                Forum Member
                Forum Member
                • May 2017
                • 30

                #52
                Re: Hi I am Abby

                Originally posted by Basilissa View Post
                Are you a relative of that Nigerian prince who was supposed to send me millions of dollars? I'm still waiting for that, you know.
                No. But I have heard of Prince Tomonto. He is a good man and possibly of the faith.
                I hope he sends you the money soon. Is it payment for your rape or child support.
                Matthew 11:28
                Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

                Comment

                • Basilissa
                  South of the Border outreach program
                  True Christian™
                   
                  • Mar 2013
                  • 12989

                  #53
                  Re: Hi I am Abby

                  Originally posted by Abby Rant View Post
                  No. But I have heard of Prince Tomonto. He is a good man and possibly of the faith.
                  I hope he sends you the money soon. Is it payment for your rape or child support.
                  Oh, the letter said that he simply wanted to share the inheritance from his father with me, out of the sheer goodness of his heart?
                  God created fossils to test our faith.

                  * * *

                  My favorite LBC sermons:
                  True Christians are Perfect!
                  True Christian™ Love.
                  Salvation™ made Easy!
                  You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
                  Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
                  Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
                  Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
                  Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
                  The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
                  Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
                  God HATES Rational Thinking!
                  True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

                  Comment

                  • Abby Rant
                    Forum Member
                    Forum Member
                    • May 2017
                    • 30

                    #54
                    Re: Hi I am Abby

                    Originally posted by Basilissa View Post
                    Oh, the letter said that he simply wanted to share the inheritance from his father with me, out of the sheer goodness of his heart?
                    You r truly blessed
                    Matthew 11:28
                    Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

                    Comment

                    • Roland
                      Obese Swedish Meatball
                      Delusional Forum Member
                      • May 2014
                      • 2193

                      #55
                      Re: Hi I am Abby

                      Originally posted by Abby Rant View Post
                      My father is a politician. He embezzles foreign aid so that we can live well
                      Hello Abby,

                      Non-suprisingly your behaviour is frowned upon a bit. This is a Christian forum. Though Embezzling money and giving (foreign private) aid could be a prime objective for politicians, it is not a Christian thing to do (as far as I know).

                      Kind regards,

                      Roland
                      Jeremiah 6:21 Therefore thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will lay stumblingblocks before this people, and the fathers and the sons together shall fall upon them; the neighbour and his friend shall perish.

                      Best wishes for the people in Ukraine.

                      Comment

                      • Joanna Lytton-Vasey
                        True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
                         
                        • Jul 2014
                        • 8416

                        #56
                        Re: Hi I am Abby

                        Originally posted by Roland View Post
                        Non-suprisingly your behaviour is frowned upon a bit. This is a Christian forum. Though Embezzling money and giving (foreign private) aid could be a prime objective for politicians, it is not a Christian thing to do (as far as I know).
                        Fortunately, Roland, the Donald will ensure that there won't be any more foreign aid for her father to embezzle. By the way, have you noticed that African politicians never call it stealing? Embezzlement implies some sort of skill and suggests that nobody knows you're doing it. Any self-respecting embezzler would not allow his daughter, however dumb she might be, to brag about it.
                        Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!

                        Comment

                        • Mary Etheldreda
                          Gushing for Jesus
                           
                          • Sep 2011
                          • 23775

                          #57
                          Re: Hi I am Abby

                          Originally posted by Roland View Post
                          Hello Abby,

                          Non-suprisingly your behaviour is frowned upon a bit. This is a Christian forum. Though Embezzling money and giving (foreign private) aid could be a prime objective for politicians, it is not a Christian thing to do (as far as I know).

                          Kind regards,

                          Roland
                          Let's not be too hasty. An honest nigra is as hard to come by as a celibate priest. They're anomalies in their cultures, and are probably at great risk whenever they refuse to toe the party line. We know negros are generally lazy and don't work hard, but we also know the occasional one can charm and entertain decent society. Nevertheless, they are by nature thieves. For one of them to admit this to a community of God Fearing Americans is a show of respect. I suggest we wait and see what kind of person this one negress is. She may be one of those few who are a credit to her race.

                          Abby, I know negroes like to cook and they like to eat and they certainly like to fill up the "trunk" with ample "junk," but how do you get maple syrup for your pancakes there?
                          Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

                          Comment

                          • Thomas Taylor
                            Forum Member
                            Forum Member
                            • Oct 2012
                            • 1486

                            #58
                            Re: Hi I am Abby

                            Originally posted by BrotherLarry View Post
                            Abby,


                            Yes, Brother Tom was so bereaved it is indescribable. I've never seen such strength during grief. Why, just moments after his wife's untimely murder - um, death - he went on an extended camping trip, saw all the sights in NY City, found time to witness to the heathens in darkest Peru, and has just been a shining example of the ways Christ can sustain us in times of sorrow. Yes, his sojourn in mourning is miraculous.

                            Yes Brother,
                            The number of times we got down on our knees to minister to the homo masses in darkest Peru were many, but we came through unscathed and taught many hundreds the Love of Christ.


                            YIC
                            Tommy
                            Isaiah 66:15

                            For behold, the Lord wil come with fire, and with his charets like a whirlewinde, to render his anger with furie, and his rebuke with flames of fire.

                            Comment

                            • Faith_Machine
                              Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
                              True Christian™
                              • Mar 2011
                              • 10050

                              #59
                              Re: Hi I am Abby

                              You know, I'm not one to talk out of school, but some of you have surely heard the rumors going around that there might be somebody in our organization who has been promoting Unsaved Trash to the rank of Forum Member in exchange for certain, um, considerations.

                              Far be it from me to suggest dear Abby might have benefited from such an arrangement, but it is interesting that she only just joined us on May 15, and here she already is enjoying a rank it takes some people months to earn.


                              Perhaps Abby is just blessed with a lot of qualities the Lord finds pleasing.
                              WARNING:
                              In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                              REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

                              Comment

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