How Diddly Doo Neighbors

[TransGirl]

Hi, my name is Marceline but on here i'm trans girl which is my gender identity. I came here just because a place like this actually exists, this place is hillarious.

[Basilissa]

Re: How Diddly Doo Neighbors

Hi, my name is Marceline but on here i'm trans girl which is my gender identity. I came here just because a place like this actually exists, this place is hillarious.

A very cautious to you, dear.

This is the Bible verse which should be your favorite from now on:

Deuteronomy 22:5 The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God.

I won't ask you what church you go to and how did you find Jesus because it's painfully obvious you're a hellbound sinner.

I will pray for you.

[Jim C. Lombardo]

Re: How Diddly Doo Neighbors

Miss Marceline, you might think it's ticky boo dandy to be skipping along the trans fad bandwagon, but God isn't deceieved. Things won't be so hilarious when Satan is savaging whatever anatomical appendage you claim exists between those sinful little legs of yours!

Have you come to hear the Good Word or to mock us? Are you curious to know what the Bible has to say about your type?


Well let me tell you, first, there are only two genders.


Genesis 1:27 . So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.


There's your first clue right there, missy. Nowhere does it say transsesuruels.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: How Diddly Doo Neighbors

Hello Marceline, and welcome to our friendly forums! I will let you in on a little not-so-secret. No one here cares how you "identify." Really! We're all equals before the LORD!

You see, Jesus "identifies" you as a Sinner, and therefore, you are equal to all Sinners before Him. That is to say, you are so repulsive and disgusting that He would rather kill Himself than to let you into Heaven like you are. There are standards, after all. Nothing icky like Gays, Negroes, Jews, Stalinists, probably most Chinamen, but that's just a personal opinion, not a Salvation Proclamation or anything like that. The property value in Heaven is perfect, so of course it only makes sense to make sure perfect people get in. Which keeps the Gays out. But I digress.

Anyway, get this! He did Just That! He did Kill Himself so you Can go to Heaven! Specifically, He impregnated a young woman with Himself some 2000 years ago so He could grow as a man to be sacrificed to Himself as a man but also as a God! Because as a God, He Himself requires Justice and no man can offer it because man is a sinful creature. And that's where you come in, equal to all sinful creatures before the Glorious Eyes of our Redeemer!

[Warning, menfolk may wish to avert their eyes for this next, graphic mention of the Satan's Curse]

Imagine, if you will, a stinking, festering pile of menstrual rags left in the desert sun for days while the women finish menstruating in their little tents off from the rest of the community. Every menstrual cramp carries with it a bit of the uterine lining that will slide down the womb, through the woman's sin box, soak into the rag, and stay there until it is utterly saturated, replaced by the next, day and night for the better part of a week (or, if you're like my particularly rebellious daughter, the better part of two weeks). Each cramp cries out to Christ, "I bear the Guilt of Eve!"



Only after the week or so of sitting in bloody sand, waving away the clouds of flies and beating away the aggressive rats that come, invited by the smell of food provisions and blood in the menstra-hut, is the woman presentable enough to walk to the water and wash those rags, scrub the week old blood off, scrape the rodent feces off, and hang the rags in the sun to dry.

This, my dear, is how Jesus "identifies" you, equal to all Unrepentant Sinners (Isaiah 64:6)!

But there is Good News! You can be Redeemed! You can confess your sins to your LORD and be Born Again! You can be supernaturally re-created into something that is so glorious that Jesus will invite you into Heaven with Open Arms! Wouldn't you like that?

Today is a great day for Redemption!


\0/

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: How Diddly Doo Neighbors

Hi, my name is Marceline but on here i'm trans girl which is my gender identity. I came here just because a place like this actually exists, this place is hillarious.

Hello, dear friend, and welcome to the friendliest and Godliest discussion board on the Internet. What do you find so amusing about this site? Unless you repent, God and the righteous will have the last laugh.

Psalm 37:12-13 KJV: 12 The wicked plotteth against the just, and gnasheth upon him with his teeth. 13 The Lord shall laugh at him: for he seeth that his day is coming.

Psalm 52:6-7 KJV: 6 The righteous also shall see, and fear, and shall laugh at him: 7 Lo, [this is] the man [that] made not God his strength; but trusted in the abundance of his riches, [and] strengthened himself in his wickedness.

Which of these roles would you prefer to play eternally?

[BrotherLarry]

Re: How Diddly Doo Neighbors

As a True Christian(TM) male, I have authority to rebuke you in Jesus' Name.


The Landover Baptist Church represents Christianity and as such represents Jesus Christ on this Earth, which is His creation. We are not here to joke, we are not here to create mirth or merriment. We are here as a unified, Bible believing group of sojourners to Heaven. Our goal is to show the entire world what being a Christian truly is, and how living for God can enrich even the most disgusting of lives.


You see, Satan wants you to laugh at us. He wants you to find humor in the concepts of Christianity - to make them seem ridiculous. There's just one problem. God wasn't laughing when He established His rules for His creation! No, Missy - God was deadly serious and He killed enough people to prove it. One only has to read the account of the flood to see that when the Lord gets angry, people perish. Did He do this because He hated us? NO!


He loves His creation, but it grieved Him that He made man (Genesis 6:6) because of the choices man was making! Some of those choices were not mankind's to make. One of the choices that is not YOURS to make is your s-e-c-k-s. As my friend noted above, "male and female created He them." That is HIS choice, not yours.


Because the Lord loved me, so do I love you. Therefore I will pray for you that you will actually read the Holy Bible and that the Holy Spirit will convict you and that you will fall on your knees and open your mouth for the Lord (Romans 10:10). Do not continue on this journey of ease and denial (Amos 6:1). Prostate yourself in front of GOD and He will hear and answer you. (1 John 1:9).


In serious prayer,
BrotherLarry

[Faith_Machine]

Re: How Diddly Doo Neighbors

Hello, Marceline. I'll bet the crazy liberal liars have convinced you that we're going to "misgender" you and treat you different because you're not a "real" woman.

Perish the thought! You are more than welcome to do the cooking and cleaning around here, and remain perfectly silent in church, just like any other woman!


PS: Stay away from our children

[James Hutchins]

Re: How Diddly Doo Neighbors

Welcome, Marceline. Do you mind if I call you Ted? Super!

Well Ted, God made each and every one of us in the same manner in which a child might make a cow from Pay-Doh. It is made EXACTLY as it is supposed to be. There is no calling the cow a coffee much, just because you could of made a mug instead of a cow. It is a cow and is what the God intended it to be.
So you see Ted, claiming to be something you are not is simply put, lying. It is deceitful and just plain wrong. Think how you'd feel if I went to your bank, told them I was you and cleaned out your account, then went to the boat yard, took out a million dollar loan and bought a small boat? You can Save yourself by giving to Landover Baptist Church. Contact the Church office for the forms and be sure to supply originals (not copies) of picture identification. We have to be careful you know.
Let us Save you Ted from an eternity of misery and the painful itch of rectal demons.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: How Diddly Doo Neighbors

Marceline, has the cat got your tongue?

How can we help you grow in your faith if you don't come back here and talk to us.

Say, maybe you should upload a nice picture of yourself.

You know, give us a chance to put a face to that pretty name of yours.

[I love MCR]

Re: How Diddly Doo Neighbors

Hi, my name is Marceline but on here i'm trans girl which is my gender identity. I came here just because a place like this actually exists, this place is hillarious.

I know right...

You got nothin on me tho. I drink from the toilet bowl because I identify as a dog.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: How Diddly Doo Neighbors

When is this dirty tranny slut going to show her face again so I can take her across my knee, hike up the dress she shouldn't be wearing, and give her bottom the harsh paddling her absentee father should have administered routinely?

I...

Um...

Excuse me brothers and sisters. I apologize for my outburst. I might have had one too many whiskey sours in honor of Veteran's Day.

I am just going to.

Um.

I'm going to be over here reading scripture if anybody needs me for anything.

[thisismyusername]

Re: How Diddly Doo Neighbors

[LIES REMOVED BY MODERATOR] my awesome post [MORE LIES, AND TERRIBLE AND UNBELIEVABLE ONES AT THAT, REMOVED BY SAME MODERATOR]. so they can [POTTY LANGUAGE REMOVED BY MODERATOR] and ban me [WE WON'T AS IT'S AGAINST OUR POLICY -- MODERATOR]. This place is where the most retarded people in the world go to try to seem smart. Unfortunately in America they wont arrest you for being stupid and we have the first amendment protecting [NAUGHTY WORDS REMOVED BY MODERATOR] like these.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: How Diddly Doo Neighbors

[LIES REMOVED BY MODERATOR] my awesome post [MORE LIES, AND TERRIBLE AND UNBELIEVABLE ONES AT THAT, REMOVED BY SAME MODERATOR]. so they can [POTTY LANGUAGE REMOVED BY MODERATOR] and ban me [WE WON'T AS IT'S AGAINST OUR POLICY -- MODERATOR]. This place is where the most retarded people in the world go to try to seem smart. Unfortunately in America they wont arrest you for being stupid and we have the first amendment protecting [NAUGHTY WORDS REMOVED BY MODERATOR] like these.

What have you got against the First Amendment? It protects you, too.

[Didymus Much]

Re: How Diddly Doo Neighbors

What have you got against the First Amendment? It protects you, too.

Mrs. E, you omitted a vital part of that. The "NOT HERE, NOT ON THIS FORUM, IT DOESN'T" part.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: How Diddly Doo Neighbors

Mrs. E, you omitted a vital part of that. The "NOT HERE, NOT ON THIS FORUM, IT DOESN'T" part.

You read me out of context.