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  • RepublicanCapitalist
    Confirmed Enemy of God
    • Sep 2018
    • 9

    #1

    Introduction

    Hello everyone,

    I don't go to any church as of yet simply because I have not come across any church that practices the King James Bible here in Iowa.


    I just came across your website and I really like your church. I plan on joining as soon as possible. Hope to see y'all next Sunday.


    I came to find Jesus when I prayed to him for Trump to win the election and he did. This is how I found out that Jesus is God.


    My favorite Bible verse is 1 Thessalonians 4:16


    For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first:
  • Mary Etheldreda
    Gushing for Jesus
     
    • Sep 2011
    • 23775

    #2
    Re: Introduction

    Originally posted by RepublicanCapitalist View Post
    Hello everyone,

    I don't go to any church as of yet simply because I have not come across any church that practices the King James Bible here in Iowa.
    Not a single one?


    Originally posted by RepublicanCapitalist View Post
    I just came across your website and I really like your church. I plan on joining as soon as possible. Hope to see y'all next Sunday.
    Not likely dear, but do keep trying!
    Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

    Comment

    • Basilissa
      South of the Border outreach program
      True Christian™
       
      • Mar 2013
      • 12991

      #3
      Re: Introduction

      Hello and to our friendly forum! I look forwards towards reading more of your posts. Are you a boy or a girl, dear? It's difficult to determine based on your name.
      God created fossils to test our faith.

      * * *

      My favorite LBC sermons:
      True Christians are Perfect!
      True Christian™ Love.
      Salvation™ made Easy!
      You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
      Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
      Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
      Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
      Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
      The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
      Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
      God HATES Rational Thinking!
      True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

      Comment

      • RepublicanCapitalist
        Confirmed Enemy of God
        • Sep 2018
        • 9

        #4
        Re: Introduction

        Originally posted by Basilissa View Post
        Hello and to our friendly forum! I look forwards towards reading more of your posts. Are you a boy or a girl, dear? It's difficult to determine based on your name.
        I am a man, and my real name is Steven Jameson.

        Comment

        • James Hutchins
          True Christian™
          Just a Regular Nice Guy
           
          • Jun 2009
          • 29453

          #5
          Re: Introduction

          I am sure if you ever get out of the basement and go outside, you will find a Church, maybe even a good one. It will give your mom a chance to chage those sheets too. Won't that be nice!


          In the mean time, read this:**"Noobs" please read this before posting.** SERIOUSLY!
          Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
          Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
          Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
          Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
          Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
          Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

          Comment

          • RepublicanCapitalist
            Confirmed Enemy of God
            • Sep 2018
            • 9

            #6
            Re: Introduction

            Originally posted by James Hutchins View Post
            I am sure if you ever get out of the basement and go outside, you will find a Church, maybe even a good one. It will give your mom a chance to change those sheets too. Won't that be nice!


            In the mean time, read this:**"Noobs" please read this before posting.** SERIOUSLY!
            I've been outside a lot (I'm a fisherman, so that's my job)

            I have visited many churches, but what I have found is that even those which claim to be "KJV Churches" do not actually practice the King James Bible. Landover Baptist is the only one I found that actually has a good website that openly advertises the Truth™ without being intimidated by political correctness.

            46 I will speak of thy testimonies also before kings, and will not be ashamed.
            47 And I will delight myself in thy commandments, which I have loved.
            48 My hands also will I lift up unto thy commandments, which I have loved; and I will meditate in thy statutes.
            49 Remember the word unto thy servant, upon which thou hast caused me to hope.
            50 This is my comfort in my affliction: for thy word hath quickened me.
            51 The proud have had me greatly in derision: yet have I not declined from thy law.

            - Psalm 119:46-51 KJV

            Also: I change my own sheets. I am 22 year old fisherman who is interested in joining you fishers of men. Anyways, see y'all the day after tomorrow.

            Comment

            • MitzaLizalor
              Completely CRAZY for the Lord
              True Christian™
              • Sep 2010
              • 14463

              #7
              Re: Introduction

              Originally posted by RepublicanCapitalist View Post
              I've been outside a lot (I'm a fisherman, so that's my job)

              I have visited many churches, but what I have found is that even those which claim to be "KJV Churches" do not actually practice the King James Bible. Landover Baptist is the only one I found that actually has a good website that openly advertises the Truth™ without being intimidated by political correctness.


              46 I will speak of thy testimonies also before kings, and will not be ashamed.
              47 And I will delight myself in thy commandments, which I have loved.
              48 My hands also will I lift up unto thy commandments, which I have loved; and I will meditate in thy statutes.
              49 Remember the word unto thy servant, upon which thou hast caused me to hope.
              50 This is my comfort in my affliction: for thy word hath quickened me.
              51 The proud have had me greatly in derision: yet have I not declined from thy law.

              - Psalm 119:46-51 KJV

              Also: I change my own sheets. I am 22 year old fisherman who is interested in joining you fishers of men. Anyways, see y'all the day after tomorrow.
              The 119th is my most loved Psalm, together with the 149th.
              Psalm 149:4-5 For the LORD taketh pleasure in his people: he will beautify the meek with salvation. Let the saints be joyful in glory: let them sing aloud upon their beds.

              I can't wait for Him to take His pleasure in me.

              Comment

              • RepublicanCapitalist
                Confirmed Enemy of God
                • Sep 2018
                • 9

                #8
                Re: Introduction

                Originally posted by MitzaLizalor View Post
                The 119th is my most loved Psalm, together with the 149th.
                Psalm 149:4-5 For the LORD taketh pleasure in his people: he will beautify the meek with salvation. Let the saints be joyful in glory: let them sing aloud upon their beds.
                I can't wait for Him to take His pleasure in me.
                Indeed, and I can't wait to meet y'all in church today

                Comment

                • Basilissa
                  South of the Border outreach program
                  True Christian™
                   
                  • Mar 2013
                  • 12991

                  #9
                  Re: Introduction

                  Originally posted by RepublicanCapitalist View Post
                  Indeed, and I can't wait to meet y'all in church today
                  Excuse me? I dunno where you go to church but I'm pretty sure I don't go to the same place.
                  God created fossils to test our faith.

                  * * *

                  My favorite LBC sermons:
                  True Christians are Perfect!
                  True Christian™ Love.
                  Salvation™ made Easy!
                  You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
                  Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
                  Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
                  Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
                  Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
                  The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
                  Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
                  God HATES Rational Thinking!
                  True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

                  Comment

                  • James Hutchins
                    True Christian™
                    Just a Regular Nice Guy
                     
                    • Jun 2009
                    • 29453

                    #10
                    Re: Introduction

                    Originally posted by RepublicanCapitalist View Post
                    Indeed, and I can't wait to meet y'all in church today
                    I doubt it. I attend Church most days at the Church on the Hutchins Plantation, LLC. here in Virginia. Being I have 35 or so children, most are married with children and a few have their own children and so on, we are a standing room only. crowd Just as they do in Landover, at the Chystal Cathedral®, we pipe the sermons in to the coops when the workers stay, only charging them $10 a piece to bathe in the Word of God.

                    Though I suppose it is possible for a White man to sneak in, I do not know most of the people there.
                    Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                    Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                    Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                    Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                    Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                    Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                    Comment

                    • RepublicanCapitalist
                      Confirmed Enemy of God
                      • Sep 2018
                      • 9

                      #11
                      Re: Introduction

                      Originally posted by Basilissa View Post
                      Excuse me? I dunno where you go to church but I'm pretty sure I don't go to the same place.
                      I'm pretty sure you're mistaken since you just saw me this morning. I go to Landover Baptist Church. That's where you go, right?

                      Comment

                      • Mary Etheldreda
                        Gushing for Jesus
                         
                        • Sep 2011
                        • 23775

                        #12
                        Re: Introduction

                        Originally posted by RepublicanCapitalist View Post
                        I'm pretty sure you're mistaken since you just saw me this morning. I go to Landover Baptist Church. That's where you go, right?
                        Oh dear, someone seems to have forgotten his meds this morning. Did you "see" an... unusual worship band play, too?

                        Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

                        Comment

                        • Joanna Lytton-Vasey
                          True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
                           
                          • Jul 2014
                          • 8417

                          #13
                          Re: Introduction

                          Originally posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
                          Oh dear, someone seems to have forgotten his meds this morning.
                          Sad, isn't it? Can you imagine, though, a complete stranger, Unsaved Trash at that, getting past security? Bobby-Joe would go ballistic and Heads.Would.Roll!
                          Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!

                          Comment

                          • RepublicanCapitalist
                            Confirmed Enemy of God
                            • Sep 2018
                            • 9

                            #14
                            Re: Introduction

                            Originally posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey View Post
                            Sad, isn't it? Can you imagine, though, a complete stranger, Unsaved Trash at that, getting past security? Bobby-Joe would go ballistic and Heads.Would.Roll!
                            Then again, perhaps I'm mistaken. Perhaps I stumbled into some other false church disguised as "Landover Baptist" - I'll have to make sure I find the real one next time.

                            Comment

                            • MitzaLizalor
                              Completely CRAZY for the Lord
                              True Christian™
                              • Sep 2010
                              • 14463

                              #15
                              Re: Introduction

                              .PARENTAL WARNING.
                              do not search for the
                              ...VILE...BAND...
                              ....depicted..above..

                              Comment

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