[0phanim]

Re: I am a messenger of the Lord. I have come to Earth to deliver a divine message.

Thank you for making the effort to cite Bible verses! That is very nice!

Thank you

Now: do you understand the meaning of the word "blasphemy?"

Here is from the dictionary:

Angels still count according to the verses I think. Must be extensions of God or at least the Holy Spirit or something.

Did I insult God? No. Was I irreverent toward real angels by pointing out that you aren't one? Nope. Does a real angel with six wings and many eyes look like a mutant fly? Maybe, I don't know - do you? My guess is as good as yours.

It isn't blasphemy to say I'm not an angel. I wish I was because they're cool but thats besides the point. My point is that your comparison, while not entirely wrong, could be seen as insulting or blasphemous. Comparing a divine, heavenly entity high ranking and entrusted enough to guard Gods throne itself to a small, earthly creature often associated with insignificance, uncleanliness, and overall negative connotations, seems kinda sus. Also my bad, I lumped you in with the other guy who said that these angels are "balderdash".

[Basilissa]

Re: I am a messenger of the Lord. I have come to Earth to deliver a divine message.

Angels still count according to the verses I think. Must be extensions of God or at least the Holy Spirit or something.

No, not really. More like God's war machines, or military police, or hunting dogs - lesser beings that God sends when someone needs to be beat up, or notified of something, or otherwise engaged with.

My point is that your comparison, while not entirely wrong, could be seen as insulting or blasphemous. Comparing a divine, heavenly entity high ranking and entrusted enough to guard Gods throne itself to a small, earthly creature often associated with insignificance, uncleanliness, and overall negative connotations, seems kinda sus.

Well, you are entitled to your opinion. Remember, though, that God forgives almost all kinds of blasphemy - except against the Holy Ghost, as I noted before:


Mark 3:28-29
28Verily I say unto you, All sins shall be forgiven unto the sons of men, and blasphemies wherewith soever they shall blaspheme:
29But he that shall blaspheme against the Holy Ghost hath never forgiveness, but is in danger of eternal damnation:

[0phanim]

Re: I am a messenger of the Lord. I have come to Earth to deliver a divine message.

No, not really. More like God's war machines, or military police, or hunting dogs - lesser beings that God sends when someone needs to be beat up, or notified of something, or otherwise engaged with.

Fair enough. To be fair I used to be christian but stopped believing because I just don't see proof of Gods existence. My bible knowledge isnt as extensive as it used to be.

Well, you are entitled to your opinion. Remember, though, that God forgives almost all kinds of blasphemy - except against the Holy Ghost, as I noted before:


Mark 3:28-29
28Verily I say unto you, All sins shall be forgiven unto the sons of men, and blasphemies wherewith soever they shall blaspheme:
29But he that shall blaspheme against the Holy Ghost hath never forgiveness, but is in danger of eternal damnation:

How would you describe the Holy Spirit/Holy Ghost? I've always been given really vague explanations, and I'm wondering if you could explain it any better.

[Basilissa]

Re: I am a messenger of the Lord. I have come to Earth to deliver a divine message.

Fair enough. To be fair I used to be christian but stopped believing because I just don't see proof of Gods existence.

How about seeing proof for His existence in His creations? Viruses, hurricanes, everything comes from God!

My bible knowledge isnt as extensive as it used to be.

Well, most Christians aren't very familiar with the contents of the Bible - they just repeat the nice sounding 5% and reject, ignore, or are blissfully unaware of the remaining 95%. This is where we come in - our role is to teach the self-professed Christian about what the Bible really says.

How would you describe the Holy Spirit/Holy Ghost? I've always been given really vague explanations, and I'm wondering if you could explain it any better.

The Bible is rather elusive on the subject. I wouldn't dare to speculate.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: I am a messenger of the Lord. I have come to Earth to deliver a divine message.

Jude 8-10
8 In the very same way, on the strength of their dreams these ungodly people pollute their own bodies, reject authority and heap abuse on celestial beings. 9 But even the archangel Michael, when he was disputing with the devil about the body of Moses, did not himself dare to condemn him for slander but said, “The Lord rebuke you!”[a] 10 Yet these people slander whatever they do not understand, and the very things they do understand by instinct—as irrational animals do—will destroy them.



2 Peter 2:10-12
10 This is especially true of those who follow the corrupt desire of the flesh[a] and despise authority.


Bold and arrogant, they are not afraid to heap abuse on celestial beings; 11 yet even angels, although they are stronger and more powerful, do not heap abuse on such beings when bringing judgment on them from[b] the Lord. 12 But these people blaspheme in matters they do not understand. They are like unreasoning animals, creatures of instinct, born only to be caught and destroyed, and like animals they too will perish.



You can blaspheme against angels. You just took a fat, massive L. Sorry about that lol.

Hi - Thank you for posting some Bible verses. I didn't think it was possible to blaspheme angels although "heaping abuse upon" would be possible I guess. Many objects pretending to depict angels deserve scorn of course. Perhaps some angels would like effigies made and adored but they wouldn't look like Botticelli's stuff [example shown RIGHT] because they'd be fallen angels and I doubt they'd want to be thought of as looking like that. To misdirect? Probably, but the realty would be more Hieronymus Bosch or possibly Goya.

[Isabella White]

Re: I am a messenger of the Lord. I have come to Earth to deliver a divine message.

Oh, Dear! From this:

I mean that I am, in a literal sense, in direct contact with God. I am from heaven.

I mean I was created by God himself, I was alive and present before Jesus existed. I have always known Jesus.

To this:

I'm just some bored 18 year old pretending to be a Biblically Accurate Angel on some insane Baptist forum at 3am.

Regardless of your unsuccessful attempt at humor, Miss Ophanim, I do extend to you a warm You might think that your prank is just a bit of fun, but the truth of the matter is that the has led you on a very serious mission to .

loves you more than you can realize; and, as you most likely know, He gave only Son to pay the price for your wretched sins.

Romans 6:23 "For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of is eternal life through our ."

Please do feel free to browse through our many forums. Since we study the very closely and carefully, you will find a wealth of information to help you on your path to the Truth and eternal security. For instance, did you know that by accepting the of , you will be given a home in Heaven — for all of eternity?! And it will not be just any run-of-the-mill house, either. If you accept and forsake your sins, you will be given a mortgage-free mansion. Yes, a mansion — imagine living in such a grand place!



John 14:2,3:
2 In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.
3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also.

We look forward to getting to know you, Dear, and in helping you in your daily walk with — here, at .

[0phanim]

Re: I am a messenger of the Lord. I have come to Earth to deliver a divine message.

i just found out this site is satire what the hell
cant believe i just wasted 3 hours of my life pretending to be an angel on a site that wasnt even serious

[handmaiden]

Re: I am a messenger of the Lord. I have come to Earth to deliver a divine message.

You believe Ophanim and the like are "extra-biblical, extraterrestrial balderdash"? Man, you guys are boring.

We are not "boring" because we believe that your created character was "extra-biblical balderdash". We are "boring" in your eyes because we didn't believe your claims and we recognized the insincere purpose behind your post. We actually have a noble, committed purpose in being here on this forum. You were just rolling for trolling's sake.

I'm bored of this, I'm just some bored 18 year old pretending to be a. . .

You're bored because you are not applying yourself to any worthy end.

but you guys are so lame that you don't even believe in the angels that the bible describes.

Again, it was YOU that we didn't believe. It is very childish of you to castigate us for being "lame" when you are simply peeved that we are not more credulous.

I took my shot. It failed but it was funny nonetheless.

Not really. You may have thought you were funny because you were sleep deprived at the time. Or, maybe you were high. It is my understanding that people who smoke marijuana find all sorts of innocuous things amusing.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: I am a messenger of the Lord. I have come to Earth to deliver a divine message.

Huh? Was something supposed to be funny? Sorry, I must have blinked when reading that bit. Did notice this though:

I was alive and present before Jesus existed.

It's important to have a well-regulated society which means no sneaky influencers suggesting ideas making themselves rich at everyone else's expense. That's a good strategy in 4th world economies, sure, the only strategy in fact. If you don't grab all the coconuts and keep them, someone else will. Their latest idea addresses per capita GDP. In this case we're talking about wild coconuts because nobody actually produces anything.

• 
  The Problem
  
  
  • 1,000,000 coconuts
  • 10,000 people
    
    
    • 1,000,000 ÷ 10,000 = 100
    • 100 coconuts each
      1. That's 2 coconuts per person per week
      2. You can't live very well on 2 coconuts
      3. OTHER RESOURCES DO NOT EXIST
         • Something Needs To Be Done!
    
    
    
  • Per Capita GDP = 100 unitsª
  
  
  
  
  
• 
  A Remedy
  
  
  • Grab all the coconuts for yourself
    
    
    • 365 days in a year
    • 1,000,000 ÷ 365 = 2,739 coconuts per day
      • But you can't eat that many coconuts
      • They start fermenting
        • PARTY TIME ! !
      • Nevertheless, overall population numbers remain stable
      • (even if 9,999 of them are now starving)
    
    
    
  • Per Capita GDP remains at 100 units
  • All the other islands are laughing at you
  
  
  
  
  
• 
  The Solution
  
  
  • Grab all the coconuts for yourself
  • Kill everyone else
    
    
    • 1,000,000 ÷ 1 = 1,000,000
    
    
    
  • Per Capita GDP now 1,000,000 units
  • The other islands are so ashamed

ª units in this case are coconuts - but they could be figs or gold bars etc.

That is not a well-regulated society. After the remedy was applied, sure, you became a millionaire. That's standard 3rd world economics. The other islands would see your starving thousands and let's face it, they'd be looking down their noses at your incompetence and sneering at your pathetic GDP per capita. Whilst also laughing, at you personally. They'd all be in on the joke of course.

Turning Keynesianism on its head is always a good idea (except for communists) and the real objective is to lift everyone out of poverty. You could just share out the coconuts, yes, but then you'd be back where you started, ergo at the hunter/gatherer stage of development but without the hunting. After the solution was applied, not entirely in accord with the spirit of Adam Smith I must say, every single person on the island is a millionaire. RESULT! The other islands have changed their perspective now!!

When we turn Jesus on His head the effect is even more noticeable. Having read The Bible we know claims to have existed before Jesus are not sound. They're like a party for one on a great big pile of coconuts. The Bible is clear that Jesus is not coconuts – and also clear on what He is. It's right there in Colossians.

Colossians 1:16-17 context
For by him were all things created, that are in heaven, and that are in earth, visible and invisible, whether they be thrones, or dominions, or principalities, or powers: all things were created by him, and for him: and he is before all things, and by him all things consist.

[handmaiden]

Re: I am a messenger of the Lord. I have come to Earth to deliver a divine message.

Having read The Bible we know claims to have existed before Jesus are not sound. They're like a party for one on a great big pile of coconuts. The Bible is clear that Jesus is not coconuts – and also clear on what He is. It's right there in Colossians.

Colossians 1:16-17 context
For by him were all things created, that are in heaven, and that are in earth, visible and invisible, whether they be thrones, or dominions, or principalities, or powers: all things were created by him, and for him: and he is before all things, and by him all things consist.

Thank you, Sister, for posting that gem of a verse from the Apostle Paul's epistle to the Colossians. It's not surprising that our not funny pretender was unaware of it. Many people in the Western world only have a cursory awareness of much of the New Testament. But for someone to wander into our forum and make an outrageous claim the clearly refutes the two verses of the Gospel Of John is a blunder of epic proportions.


In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. The same was in the beginning with God.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: I am a messenger of the Lord. I have come to Earth to deliver a divine message.

Yes, they seem to have heard of Jesus but have no idea who He is. Eventually they'd make up something about a character who used to exist, someone to say the things they want to say —— or more likely someone else would work out what that was and write it for them, then sell them the book. If they ever checked out preexisting literature (John, Colossians) they'd get quite a shock.

Do you think that could even happen after The Rapture?

[Vengeance Puriel]

Re: I am a messenger of the Lord. I have come to Earth to deliver a divine message.

Humans lack the ability to understand Gods word because Satan has blinded them from the truth with his drugs, sex, and liquor.

[James Hutchins]

Re: I am a messenger of the Lord. I have come to Earth to deliver a divine message.

i just found out this site is satire what the hell
cant believe i just wasted 3 hours of my life pretending to be an angel on a site that wasnt even serious

Totally awesome you discovered you are an idiot and it only took three hours!

[James Hutchins]

Re: I am a messenger of the Lord. I have come to Earth to deliver a divine message.

Hi

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: I am a messenger of the Lord. I have come to Earth to deliver a divine message.

i just found out this site is satire what the hell
cant believe i just wasted 3 hours of my life pretending to be an angel on a site that wasnt even serious

This happens a lot here. If new readers would open the Bible and set it beside their computer, then compare what is written here by True Christians™ to that in their open Bible, they would find the two are identical.

No, this site is for serious True Christians. If you want to pretend you are someone different than who you are, go to some site that is actually satire.