Hello there.

[David E. Goliath]

Ok, so an introduction. My name's not important nor is how I came to be writing this. What is important is letting you all know what exactly I think, or at least I assume that's what's important.

I don't have an real faith in god and I don't put a lot of stock in the devil either. The only religion I have known is that of the baptist church since my Father's a baptist, I don't follow it though since I've never really understood it. Organised faith doesn't hold much weight with me which is probably why my Father doesn't hold much respect for me.

My mom on the other is great, she doesn't indulge in the baptist faith even though my Father puts pressure on her and wants her to convert. She's a moon worshipper, big into wolves and the like. She even had one at one point 'til Father had it shot. Urm... anyway, this isn't my life story just my basics so I'll get to the point.

I don't follow either of my parent's belifes much to my Father's dismay and I don't know what beliefs I do have. I know I'm not an athiest because I believe that there is something out there that has a hand in what happens, I wouldn't care to guess who or what it was but I think it's there. Well that's about it. I haven't got anymore to say.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hello there.

Why are you here?

[David E. Goliath]

Re: Hello there.

To post and communicate with the peoples of landoverbaptist.net . Is that so wrong?

[Azmodan]

Re: Hello there.

Why are you here?

Because this is an introduction thread and he wanted to introduce himself?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hello there.

To post and communicate with the peoples of landoverbaptist.net . Is that so wrong?

God instructs us in the Holy Bible to stay clear of the unsaved. That's why we fly that huge banner which proudly proclaims "UNSAVED=UNWELCOME."

If you're hear to learn about Jesus and His temporary sacrifice, then we ask that you be respectful and polite. Otherwise, you can take a hike like the rest of your fag buddies at 4chan.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Hello there.

[...]I know I'm not an athiest

I know as well, mainly because you can't spell it

because I believe that there is something out there that has a hand in what happens, [...]

At this point, and before writing you off as a retard and/or illogical, can you explain why you think there is "something out there" yet have no idea what it is?

Is this not like my telling the servants to "go shopping" and yet not telling them what is required?

If you've no idea what it is, how do you know what effect if might have? We already have some idiot on the board that believes in the Flying Spaghetti Monster - at least you can say that he at least knows what he thinks it is.

[Max Bayes]

Re: Hello there.

I haven't got anymore to say.

Let's be honest here. You didn't really have much to say in the first place, did you?

[Mad Prophet Helmholtz]

Re: Hello there.

What is important is letting you all know what exactly I think, or at least I assume that's what's important.

You assume too much then.

I don't have an real faith in god and I don't put a lot of stock in the devil either.

But you put a lot of stock in GM, right?

The only religion I have known is that of the baptist church since my Father's a baptist, I don't follow it though since I've never really understood it.

Yea, that Christianity is REALLY complex.

Organised faith doesn't hold much weight with me which is probably why my Father doesn't hold much respect for me.

No, it's probably because you're a douchebag.

My mom on the other is great, she doesn't indulge in the baptist faith even though my Father puts pressure on her and wants her to convert. She's a moon worshipper, big into wolves and the like. She even had one at one point 'til Father had it shot.

Don't you know that ANIMALS THINK DEATH ALL THE TIME? They wait for a moment when they can strike and kill humans. Stephen Colbert said Bears are GODLESS KILLING MACHINES, and Wolves certainly apply. Why worship something that wants to kill you? That doesn't make sense. Do you also worship CANCER and SERIAL MURDERERS?

I don't follow either of my parent's belifes much to my Father's dismay and I don't know what beliefs I do have. I know I'm not an athiest because I believe that there is something out there that has a hand in what happens, I wouldn't care to guess who or what it was but I think it's there. Well that's about it. I haven't got anymore to say.

You are simply confused because GHOST SHARK HAS WRAPPED CEREBRAL DENDRITES AROUND YOUR BRAIN, sending an RSS FEED OF STUPIDITY. Now, what you must do is say the following prayer for help and guidance...

PRAYER TO MR. T.

In the name of Spaceship Jesus,

O Holiest of Black Men, with your Divine Gold Medallions shine forth the light of Spaceship Jesus and eradicate all that is RACIST and EVIL in the entire universe.

Use your muscle and toughness to unite all four races as commanded by Spaceship Jesus and destroy all those that get in your way, like Ghost Shark and His Minions.

Help me, O Great Gold-Adorned One, to reject all RACIST INFLUENCE in my life. Keep me safe from Nazis, Soviets, Cosby Show reruns, Oprah Winfrey Show, and the Rev. Al Sharpton, and whatever tricks GHOST SHARK AND SATANIC ALLIES use to whip us into subjugation.

Show all peoples the TRUTH and the WAY to Spaceship Jesus.
Amen.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Hello there.

,...like all kids the world should revolve around me and I love boring the hell out of the adults talking about myself,,..

,..blah blah blah...

,...I haven't got anymore to say.

There any point to this kid?

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: Hello there.

Babbling that basically = "I dunno." SNIPPED

Next time you don't have anything to say, I'd appreciate it if you didn't say anything.

[David E. Goliath]

Re: Hello there.

If you're hear to learn about Jesus and His temporary sacrifice, then we ask that you be respectful and polite. Otherwise, you can take a hike like the rest of your fag buddies at 4chan.

For sure, I am here to be respectful and polite, to everyone, Thank you

Next time you don't have anything to say, I'd appreciate it if you didn't say anything.

You got it,

Let's be honest here. You didn't really have much to say in the first place, did you?

Correct, I sure didn't. But I hope that maybe while im here I can learn the ways of Christianity??

If you've no idea what it is, how do you know what effect if might have? We already have some idiot on the board that believes in the Flying Spaghetti Monster - at least you can say that he at least knows what he thinks it is.

I know what it effect it might have from what I hear from others, about the glory of God.

[Max Bayes]

Re: Hello there.

PRAYER TO MR. T.

I read somewhere that you can pity all of the fools some of the time, and you can pity some of the fools all of the time, but only Mr T can pity all of the fools all of the time. Is this true?

[Mad Prophet Helmholtz]

Re: Hello there.

I read somewhere that you can pity all of the fools some of the time, and you can pity some of the fools all of the time, but only Mr T can pity all of the fools all of the time. Is this true?

Yes it is, Brother Max! Mr. T. is capable of seeing things no one else can see, doing things no one else can do. For the Great Mohawked One, born under the sea in sexual union of Giant Squid and Sperm Whale, rising to the surface after one thousand years, utilizing effervescent gold chains to reflect Spaceship Jesus laser power, is beyond the mere prison of spacetime and exists both as man and in a tachyonic state, what particle physicists hypothesize as faster than light particles, for the electromagnetic spectrum is just one Kabbalistic emanation from Spaceship Jesus on-board central computers.

But, you already knew that as well.