The Church of Scientology Picnic

[Dr. Robert V. Young]

Hello everyone, my name is Dr. Robert Vaughn Young and I represent the Freewinds chapter of the Church of Scientology. My church, located in Freewinds, Iowa, is hosting a picnic open to the public on July 25 at Noon till 8 PM. There will be free food and drinks as well as free auditing for any who are interested. We will be exhibiting our newest E-Meter models including the EM512 and the very elegant EM120. There will be a special presentation on the benefits of joining the Church of Scientology, and it will include highlighting acts from bands such as the Insane Clown Posse and superstar rapper Vanilla Ice! We are expecting hundreds of attendees and we hope to get many new members. I welcome all members here to join us for a copacetic day of food and recognition!

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: The Church of Scientology Picnic

To be frank, as I usually am, I would rather share a band-aid with a leper; but thanks for the offer.

[Talitha]

Re: The Church of Scientology Picnic

Hello everyone, my name is Dr. Robert Vaughn Young and I represent the Freewinds chapter of the Church of Scientology. My church, located in Freewinds, Iowa, is hosting a picnic open to the public on July 25 at Noon till 8 PM. There will be free food and drinks as well as free auditing for any who are interested. We will be exhibiting our newest E-Meter models including the EM512 and the very elegant EM120. There will be a special presentation on the benefits of joining the Church of Scientology, and it will include highlighting acts from bands such as the Insane Clown Posse and superstar rapper Vanilla Ice! We are expecting hundreds of attendees and we hope to get many new members. I welcome all members here to join us for a copacetic day of food and recognition!

Son, I'm sure your Momma is right proud of you for getting an "Ology".
I'm afraid it doesn't impress us True Christians™.
Scientology is a False Religion which means you and your fellow Ologists are going to Hell.

[Shinigami]

Re: The Church of Scientology Picnic

Hello everyone, my name is Dr. Robert Vaughn Young and I represent the Freewinds chapter of the Church of Scientology. My church, located in Freewinds, Iowa, is hosting a picnic open to the public on July 25 at Noon till 8 PM. There will be free food and drinks as well as free auditing for any who are interested. We will be exhibiting our newest E-Meter models including the EM512 and the very elegant EM120. There will be a special presentation on the benefits of joining the Church of Scientology, and it will include highlighting acts from bands such as the Insane Clown Posse and superstar rapper Vanilla Ice! We are expecting hundreds of attendees and we hope to get many new members. I welcome all members here to join us for a copacetic day of food and recognition!

I would most likely call the FBI to report a CP ring meeting where you plan to have your event. I would either do that or I would get a bunch of protestfags (Project Chanology people) and have them do a raid. I might also mention the Xenu story in full as written by L. Ron Hubbard. That would really put you Out Ethics wouldn't it?

[Brother Lazarus]

Re: The Church of Scientology Picnic

Hello everyone, my name is Dr. Robert Vaughn Young and I represent the Freewinds chapter of the Church of Scientology. My church, located in Freewinds, Iowa, is hosting a picnic open to the public on July 25 at Noon till 8 PM. There will be free food and drinks as well as free auditing for any who are interested. We will be exhibiting our newest E-Meter models including the EM512 and the very elegant EM120. There will be a special presentation on the benefits of joining the Church of Scientology, and it will include highlighting acts from bands such as the Insane Clown Posse and superstar rapper Vanilla Ice! We are expecting hundreds of attendees and we hope to get many new members. I welcome all members here to join us for a copacetic day of food and recognition!

If you're going to believe in Scientology, you might as well believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Will you be serving any pasta dishes at your unHoly event?

Yours in Christ
Brother Lazarus

[Dr. Robert V. Young]

Re: The Church of Scientology Picnic

Hello and thank you for your prompt responses. I realize you all may not like the notion of our wonderful religion, but we are a recognized religion and we are here to stay. Our members have been converted from many sects of diffferent religions and they have mentioned they would not go back. If you would, just take some time out of your busy schedules to come celebrate Scientology with us on the 25th, you'll be sure to not regret it!

And I am happy to announce that we will be serving pasta dishes but I am sorrry, there will be no Flying Spaghetti Monster costume in attendance.

[JennyD]

Re: The Church of Scientology Picnic

Hello and thank you for your prompt responses. I realize you all may not like the notion of our wonderful religion, but we are a recognized religion and we are here to stay. Our members have been converted from many sects of diffferent religions and they have mentioned they would not go back. If you would, just take some time out of your busy schedules to come celebrate Scientology with us on the 25th, you'll be sure to not regret it!

And I am happy to announce that we will be serving pasta dishes but I am sorrry, there will be no Flying Spaghetti Monster costume in attendance.

I'll be there, and I'll bring along a surprise treat to share!



Bobby-Joe, what would you recommend? Tear gas canisters, or shall I break out the 12-gauge?

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: The Church of Scientology Picnic

[...]Our members have been converted from many sects of diffferent religions and they have mentioned they would not go back. [...]

I think, if they could find their way back and the $$$ they've paid, they might.

[Dr. Robert V. Young]

Re: The Church of Scientology Picnic

I'll be there, and I'll bring along a surprise treat to share!



Bobby-Joe, what would you recommend? Tear gas canisters, or shall I break out the 12-gauge?

I'm glad you will be attending. You will be able to learn more about our much insulted religion as well as meet new and interesting people. You may bring your own dish but please be sure to notify the proper staff of what the ingredients are. There may be people who are allergic to certain foods at this picnic. We also disprove of any weapons being brought but if you'd like to keep it concealed, there will be no concern.

[Baptists For The Win]

Re: The Church of Scientology Picnic

I'm glad you will be attending. You will be able to learn more about our much insulted religion as well as meet new and interesting people. You may bring your own dish but please be sure to notify the proper staff of what the ingredients are. There may be people who are allergic to certain foods at this picnic. We also disprove of any weapons being brought but if you'd like to keep it concealed, there will be no concern.

I have heard this same sales pitch from a Demon peddling Amway.

Stay out of my house Demon! I command the Lord to send you back to Hell!

[Dr. Robert V. Young]

Re: The Church of Scientology Picnic

I think, if they could find their way back and the $$$ they've paid, they might.

This is one of the many facets of our religion that the negative media coverage has overstated. While our religion does require money to be a member, does not every religion require some donation to keep maintained?

[Dr. Robert V. Young]

Re: The Church of Scientology Picnic

I have heard this same sales pitch from a Demon peddling Amway.

Stay out of my house Demon! I command the Lord to send you back to Hell!

Please, there is no need for this. I am simply trying to gather interest for my church's picnic. I am sorry you feel this way, but have you ever tried Scientology? We are offering free audits at this picnic if you are interested!

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: The Church of Scientology Picnic

What a coincidence! We were planning on several hours of low altitude flying exercises in that very area on that very day and time. I'll make sure to wave as I pass by at just over 200 feet repeatedly with all of the other Landover AirJesus pilots in our G550s.

They aren't nearly as loud as our old planes, so you should hardly notice us as we speed past just over your heads at around 550MPH.

[Baptists For The Win]

Re: The Church of Scientology Picnic

This is one of the many facets of our religion that the negative media coverage has overstated. While our religion does require money to be a member, does not every religion require some donation to keep maintained?

Do you still have Tom Cruise the Leopard in your church?

[Baptists For The Win]

Re: The Church of Scientology Picnic

Please, there is no need for this. I am simply trying to gather interest for my church's picnic. I am sorry you feel this way, but have you ever tried Scientology? We are offering free audits at this picnic if you are interested!

You are a Witch who is trying to trick and decieve true Christians.

I know what you are up to Witch! I will watch you from a distance. I do not want to be too close when the Satan comes to collect your soul at the picnic and cast you into the lake of fire.