Advice needed.

[New_Man]

Hi all,

I'm turning my back on my teenaged profligacy, and the liberal excesses of my past.

Time for a new start - and I'm deeply involved in my local baptist church.

I wanted to keep an open mind and become immersed in the most wholesome teachings I can find.

That's why I'm here. I know I have a lot to learn, and I can take criticism.

Any advice for a new Christian? I'm willing to abide by it.

Jason.

[Ritchie Mccrow]

Re: Advice needed.

You need a hair cut and you look like nancy boy.
We don't like your kind here boy.

[New_Man]

Re: Advice needed.

But I am willing to learn.

If you think I need a haircut, I will abide by it. I'd already discussed this with my church leader too.

[New_Man]

Re: Advice needed.

Or, rather, if enough people offer the same advice, I will abide by it. When we put our trust in authority, it must be the right authority.

[Father Maurice Lester]

Re: Advice needed.

...When we put our trust in authority, it must be the right authority.

...And Jesus Christ, our Lord and Saviour, is the right authority.

Did you know that Jesus has his own Church, a Church he himself built on the rock of St. Peter just before he died on the cross so that the sins of his children could be forgiven?

Yes indeed and that Church is the Catholic Church, The Holy Church of Rome and I am here to tell you that now is the time for you to embrace the words of Jesus himself and join the Catholic Church.

Since the days when Jesus walked this earth as a man we Catholics have been here fighting the good Christian fight and doing our best to ensure that young people everywhere get the chance to take into their hearts the wisdom and goodness that are the cornerstones of Christ's words and deeds.

I promise you that every Priest I know would be thrilled to have you visit and ask to be indoctrinated into the one true Church so feel free to rush down, any time of day or night, to any of our conveniently located houses of worship. Tell them Father Mo sent you and that you have accepted Jesus as your Saviour and seek the kind of special guidance and authority only a bona-fide Catholic Priest can offer.



Bless you, my potential Papist,
Father Mo

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Advice needed.

Hi all,

I'm turning my back on my teenaged profligacy, and the liberal excesses of my past.

Time for a new start - and I'm deeply involved in my local baptist church.

I wanted to keep an open mind and become immersed in the most wholesome teachings I can find.

That's why I'm here. I know I have a lot to learn, and I can take criticism.

Any advice for a new Christian? I'm willing to abide by it.

Jason.

First of all, welcome to God's gavorite church, son. I hope you'll take a look at our Church Doctrines and ask any questions you might have.

Please feel free to ignore unsaved fools like that Ritchie character. Neither he nor "father" Mo have any standing with Jesus, and they will guide you straight to hell (and leave you with a sore behind as well).

Please tell us about yourself. How old are you exactly? What church do you attend? What sort of sins and perversions have you been involved with? Please don't be shy about sharing your testimony with us. We want to help guide you into Christ's loving embrace.

[New_Man]

Re: Advice needed.

Nice to speak to you. I'm 20, originally from Missouri and attend a Baptist Church there.

Ashamed to say that I've been involved in fornication. No more.

If we were all perfect, there would be no need for repentance.

Although the poster above was a little outspoken I have felt convicted over the need to get a haircut!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Advice needed.

Nice to speak to you. I'm 20, originally from Missouri and attend a Baptist Church there.

Ashamed to say that I've been involved in fornication. No more.

If we were all perfect, there would be no need for repentance.

Although the poster above was a little outspoken I have felt convicted over the need to get a haircut!

Well you do look like a girl. I'm sure you'd rather not attract the attention of some muscular sweaty queer who wants to sodomize you and make you his wife...

What church do you attend? Have you studied the Holy KJV Bible from cover to cover? Why aren't you over in Iraquistan killing mudslimes for Jesus?

[New_Man]

Re: Advice needed.

I attend the Maywood Baptist Church, though I am willing to be open-minded and seek out other forms of authority and teaching.

I haven't read the Bible from cover to cover, because I am a new convert. However, I am more than willing to do so.

With career plans I am, again, willing to be led.

As I have been clearly convicted on this issue, I will go to the barbers today.

[Nobar King]

Re: Advice needed.

Time for a new start -

Time for a new shirt!!

[Lola Handcock]

Re: Advice needed.

Welcome
A word of advice.Pastor Ezekiel was warned you of Father Mo.He is a catherlik his church does not worship Our lord and Savior Jesus.His church worships false gods and is ran by the Devil himself.Yes the Pope is really Satan and Father Mo is a demon,he is a minion of Satan.He will steal your soul and turn you into a homersexural.Stay clear of him and his kind.If and when he contacts you he will tell you that we lie.Report him to one of our Pastors immediately.Good luck in your journey to Salavtion and may the Good Lord Bless You

Job 2:3
And the LORD said unto Satan, Hast thou considered my servant Job, that there is none like him in the earth, a perfect and an upright man, one that feareth God, and escheweth evil? and still he holdeth fast his integrity, although thou movedst me against him, to destroy him without cause.

[New_Man]

Re: Advice needed.

Action is needed - not words, or our witness is empty.

There is a long way to go for me, but I have followed advice and conviction today -

[Lola Handcock]

Re: Advice needed.

Now that is a good hair cut, a Marine High and Tight.
Come join the army of Jesus and fight Satan to the end.
Get yourself a KJV 1611 and get yourself Saved.

[Emil Sledge]

Re: Advice needed.

Now you mind what Lola said. Shes only tellin you things for your own good. You steer clear a that Maurice creep. He said what you need is a bonerfide preist and thats the last thing you need is to end up bonerfide your self by a catlick preist and thats just what they gonna wanna do to you.

I gotta get a sip a something got a little puke taste in my mouth just then.

Anyhoo after you get your self pointed in the right direction by our pastors here at the Landover Baptist Church and you know you have given it up for Jesus then if you want to you maybe can go to a catlick church and sit in the back and just watch till you get throwed out for laughin. Its lots a fun specially if you go with a friend. But dont go on the little room with the ggreen light over it cause it aint a privy at all. No theres a bonerfide preist lurkin in there just a waitin for a unsuspectin young man like you to bonerfy soon as you close the door.

But get right with Jesus first before you go lookin for fun like I did. Nice haircut by the way much better then lookin like you want go get bonerfide like you did in your first pitcher. Are you still in school? Im goin again and its kinda fun actually gonna get my GED real soon!

[Ofc. Don W. Richards]

Re: Advice needed.

Well you look more respectable now. I arrest little punks that look like your pre-haircut picture on a daily basis.

Have you ever considered becoming an Officer of the Law? It is an esteemed and rewarding profession for a True Christian Manly Man. Of course I don't think you're a True Christian yet, but you could be with the right coaching.

I would actually advise you to steer clear of the military. Obama is turning it into a gay pride parade. The Army is for sissies. They turned me down because of "high blood pressure, diabetes, and obesity." That's crap, I know why they turned me down: Because they were afraid of letting a real man join the forces, that's why.