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Greetings fellow Jesus Lovers!
Lord knows my 13 children keep me busy, so I can't get to the computer machine as often as I'd like, but it's good to be a part of the godly Landover church. Sometimes Jebediah Senior leaves the farm to go to PK meetings and I can have some fun! I am a righteous defender of traditional marriage and my quiver is always full!
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Re: Greetings fellow Jesus Lovers!
Praise Jesus and welcome to God's favorite forum. Please tell us about your church and your family.Originally posted by Leviticus Lizzy View Post
What's your husband's favorite pie?
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!! -
Re: Greetings fellow Jesus Lovers!
I welcome you in Christ's abundant love. What is your favorite verse from Leviticus?This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.
Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance
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Re: Greetings fellow Jesus Lovers!
Welcome Lezzy! Lawd, I know how dem kids kin keep you busy! I got my-self a couple of big fat ones and jist feedin dem is a chore.Originally posted by Leviticus Lizzy View Post
Anyways, I be back from my Perillo tour of Israel and da Holy lands and is ready to give you all my Gawdly opinions agin.Everybodys Blested Ole Mammy
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Re: Greetings fellow Jesus Lovers!
Pie-wise, Jeb likes Cherry, so if I'm not spinning, I'm usually pitting cherries. We recently moved to Ohio from Iowa because of that dern homersexual marriage (at least that's what Jeb says...I think it was that unfortunate incident at Kids on Fire camp that got him all riled up).Comment
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Re: Greetings fellow Jesus Lovers!
There are so many, Pastor. But my personal favorite has to be Chapter 15 about uncleanliess and all that. I showed that to my husband Jeb and bless him, he built me a mentstrual shack out back behind the trailer -- heated. My gal pals are so covetous!Originally posted by Pastor Isaac Peters View PostComment
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Re: Greetings fellow Jesus Lovers!
I'm sorry, I can't understand you, Mrs. Johnson. Please speak English. I love Israel too, although I'm not sure why.Comment
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Re: Greetings fellow Jesus Lovers!
Well, you obviously don't speak Gawds English, Miz Lezzy.Originally posted by Leviticus Lizzy View Post
Jeezus understand me jist fine!Everybodys Blested Ole Mammy
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Re: Greetings fellow Jesus Lovers!
You're not even actually a black woman. You're a member of this forum inventing a character to fit your stereotypes of blacks. No black person would call them self an ''ex-negress'' and join a community of white racists, and then buy into a belief that all blacks are evil because they're ''descended from Ham."Originally posted by Vavoline Johnson View Post
Thou shalt not bear false witness.
You have broken a commandment, you are condemned to hell.
Unsaved trash.John 8:10-11
Jesus straightened up and asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?" "No one, sir," she said. "Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin."Comment
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Re: Greetings fellow Jesus Lovers!
Sorry, 'Bob', wrong... again. Missus Vavoline is indeed black, black as the ace of spades. There are many ex-negroes and ex-negresses here. There are few in the process of converting too.Originally posted by A sub Human View PostIsaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.Comment
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Re: Greetings fellow Jesus Lovers!
Well, since you believe in Hell, you obviously THINK you are a Christian. Why do you think you know better than the literal word of God in the Bible? Are you one of those Convenience Store Christians that thinks that God gave us some sort of Jumble Puzzle that means things that it doesn't say? Gods word is plain and clear, why do you feel compelled to twist it to make yourself feel better?Originally posted by A sub Human View PostYours In Christ,
Gabriel Reproba, Esq. (Lawyer for the Lord)
Further reading to help you become a True Christian™
Stoning Sinners: A How-To Guide
Scientific Study: Bible is NOT "All About Love"
The One Sin Jesus Says He Won't EVER Forgive!
Should we only follow SOME of the Bible?
How will YOU sacrifice your kids?
20 Questions To See If Your Son Is A Fag
God: Dress Like A Whore...Get Raped!
Bible: If You Love Your Wife, Beat Her!
Logic and Bible Agree: Gay is a choice!
Nursery Rhymes Teach kids that Christ is Lord!
There is no such thing as an "agnostic!"
Science: People are Only Islamic Because They are Depressed!
Reading only the parts of the Bible your pastor tells you to (those that make you feel warm and fuzzy) is nothing but mental and spiritual masturbation. Read the WHOLE Bible to find out what Christianity is REALLY all about! Only then can you talk to us about why we try so hard to save people from Hell.Comment
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Re: Greetings fellow Jesus Lovers!
How dare you besmirch our sister ex negress Miss Vavoline. We do allow some Ebonics here as long as it isn't that jungle rap ghetto garbage. We are a very tolerant church but we do not tolerate agents of Satan like you!Originally posted by A sub Human View Post
Jesus loves Dick
Cheney/Palin 2012Comment
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Re: Greetings fellow Jesus Lovers!
Lizzy, just visit us when you are able -- a lady who loves Leviticus is truly a lady who loves the LORD.Originally posted by Leviticus Lizzy View Post
How edifying that will be. Praise!Originally posted by Vavoline Johnson View Post
No, she isn't:Originally posted by A sub Human View Post
My heart was black with sin,
Until the Savior came in.
His Precious Blood I know,
Will wash me whiter than snow.
And in God's Word I'm told
I'll walk the streets of gold.
I'll read my Bible and pray,
And Grow in Him every day!
(by Frances J. Roberts)
Black is associated with sin, and white is associated with being cleansed of sin; therefore Sister Vavoline is whiter than snow. Unless you think that such colour associations are racist, which would be an absolute nonsense! An innocent, Godly song wouldn't perpetuate racism, would it? Of course not.True Christians are Perfect!
Signs that you belong to a FALSE Christian Church.
Persecution You Have Endured for CHRIST: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger in Christ.
For True Christians™ only: please send me Project Habakkuk updates at gertruderogers@landoverbaptist.net. Thank you.Comment
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Re: Greetings fellow Jesus Lovers!
May da Lawd hab mercy on yo soul. I have never in my life been so insulted, cept the time that unGodly Miz April practically called me da "N" word cause I corrected her spellin and puncuation.
The Lawd washed all the blackeness off my body as Miz Rogers jist done tole you. I am so close to Jeezus his-self the color comes off on his hands when he touches me.Everybodys Blested Ole Mammy
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Re: Greetings fellow Jesus Lovers!
Ex-negro?Originally posted by James Hutchins View Post
I'm not a proponent of the idea of discrete biological races, since a given race often has constructed boundaries built on a social rather than biological basis. However, one should note that the phenotype of "black racial" characteristics is hard wired to one's DNA and totally immutable. One cannot be an ex-black person.The world itself is the will to power - and nothing else! And you yourself are the will to power - and nothing else!Comment
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