[Mistress Cookie]

Re: New recruit.

Excuse me, sir, are you maybe possessed by demons? Your mood swings so abruptly from friendly and polite to rude and hateful that it is hard for me to believe that it is one person speaking.

That was my second thought, though I was hoping it may be a mere split personality.

Either way, I fear we're in for more of this*




* thanks to petal for the extraordinary scientific footage

[peterjohansson]

Re: New recruit.

This didn't came unexpected to me. Somehow I had foreseen that this black buck isn't to be trusted

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: New recruit.

piffle YOU ALL EAT SHIT GOD DAMMIT

You see? You see how wild and violent these boys can get? We treated him nicely and this is how he repays our Christian kindness?

[Mistress Cookie]

Re: New recruit.

But maybe if we can smooth over this initial hurdle, Mr. Wimbley has good Christian thoughts to offer?

I think a Pastor or Male Elder should pm him.

With this member, we're all sort of still on our "first date", a situation that's traditionally rife with awkwardness and confusion.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: New recruit.

But maybe if we can smooth over this initial hurdle, Mr. Wimbley has good Christian thoughts to offer?

I think a Pastor or Male Elder should pm him.

With this member, we're all sort of still on our "first date", a situation that's traditionally rife with awkwardness and confusion.

Maybe after he sobers up he'll come crawling back and ask our forgiveness. He may be on a three day drunk though. That malt liquor makes the coons run wild in the streets.

[True Disciple]

Re: New recruit.

I think we need to be very considerate. This man is clearly mentally ill, though it is unclear to me whether this is the result of demons or the result of him just being a negro.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: New recruit.

My pies I had cooling on the windowsill are GONE!

[Mistress Cookie]

Re: New recruit.

I have something to say.

Everyone here knows I am as devout a True Christian™ as the next, and I think my tithing proves that.

But just as I have pushed and worked for reform within the Quarantine Unit and the Landover Baptist Church Psychiatric Institute, I sometimes feel we can review our policies here, as well.

Mr. Wimbley came to us in trust. He opened his (alleged) Christian heart, and now he is gone. Even if he was not completely, 115% what some in the Church would want, he was perhaps salvageable. But we drove him away with what some would see as undue harshness.

Now, I take no position as to whether or not anyone was harsh...but it was perceived by our guest to be harsh. Is there not some way we can all be patient with the outsiders who wend their way here, at least for, say, 24 hours? This man was broken in a matter of minutes, and in my heart of hearts, I don't know that it was really necessary. There is, I don't know...something on all our hands.

As to Sister Thumper's missing pies...well, perhaps we all, in some way, caused Mr. Wimbley to snap, in some way. Or, they could have been eaten by a bobcat or something, in some way. Are the tins still there?

[Steve Wimbley]

Re: New recruit.

Well what the f**k?

I can't curse on here, but you can all call me a nigger and talk about me as if I were a slave. Well I'm not you're f**king slave.

You can all burn in hell, and I'll look down smiling up in heaven. Laughing.

I was trying to be nice, but apparently that did me no good to begin with.


Perhaps I should consider Buddhism. The people over there seem much more peaceful.

[Mistress Cookie]

Re: New recruit.

Mr. Wembley!!! Oh!!! You're back!!!!

Now just think carefully about how you're going to procede and choose your words carefully, Brother.

You could be a precedent-setting case here at Landover™.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: New recruit.

Mr. Wembley!!! Oh!!! You're back!!!!

Now just think carefully about how you're going to procede and choose your words carefully, Brother.

You could be a precedent-setting case here at Landover™.

He's all hopped-up on the malt liquor, I'm telling you.

[Mistress Cookie]

Re: New recruit.

He's all hopped-up on the malt liquor, I'm telling you.

Please let's be patient, dear Pastor.

I was trying to be nice, but apparently that did me no good to begin with.

Now Mr. Wembley, we all learn as very small children that goodness is its own reward.

And I'm sure you impressed more than just me with your (initial) manners. We have thousands upon thousands upon thousands upon thousands of readers here each and every day, and like snowflakes, no two are exactly the same.

Now merely as a formality, before everyone in the Church™ trusts you, I think you should make a statement about Sister Thumper's missing pies. THIS IS NOT MY IDEA BUT I JUST KNOW IT'S GOING TO COME UP.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: New recruit.

Well what the f**k?

I can't curse on here, but you can all call me a nigger and talk about me as if I were a slave. Well I'm not you're f**king slave.

You can all burn in hell, and I'll look down smiling up in heaven. Laughing.

I was trying to be nice, but apparently that did me no good to begin with.


Perhaps I should consider Buddhism. The people over there seem much more peaceful.

Is that blueberry I see on your collar? I hope you enjoyed the pies you stole off my windowsill!

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: New recruit.

We know you're not a slave, Steve. That RINO Lincoln and all of his liberal God-hating friends made sure of that. We also know that if you get over your inherent laziness, and with the help of Jesus, you can overcome your inborn faults and become an ex-nigra!
Wouldn't you like that? A normal-speaking boy like you has the potential, and God can help you realize that potential! But you have to want it, Steve. You have to want to become an ex-nigra bad because it's a lot of work!

I'm praying for you, Steve.

[MormonBrother]

Re: New recruit.

Is that blueberry I see on your collar? I hope you enjoyed the pies you stole off my windowsill!

Baby, I stole the pies, I love pie! All Mormons do...I notice you didn't mention the $20 I left on the windowsill...