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  • ilovetehjeesus
    Unsaved trash
    Under Investigation
    • Mar 2010
    • 22
    #1

    Hi Guys, I Love You All!!!

    Hey everyone! I'm so psyched to be here with all these like-minded and intelligent individuals!

    Believe me when I tell you that I've been searching God's green Earth for decades in a vain, or so I thought, attempt at finding souls who will not be damned to Hell! Let me say that is is an HONOUR to be amongst such prolific and educated servants of God!
    Tags: None
    • Ezekiel Bathfire
      Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
      Christ's Rottweiler
       
      • Jan 2008
      • 22898
      #2
      Re: Hi Guys, I Love You All!!!

      You spell 'honor' a strange way. Are you a Brit?

      Anyhoo, we really need to know you a little better.
      Which church do you attend?
      What's your favorite Bible verse (please don't give us no garbage, like a nancy boy, about "Ooo, I like them all")
      How many sons do you have?
      What's your favorite pie?
      How long does it take you to field dress a deer?
      sigpic


      “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

      Author of such illuminating essays as,
      Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

        Comment

        • True Disciple
          True Christian™ Creation Scientist
          Landover Baptist University Associate Professor
          Smashing atheist science one fact at a time
          True Christian™
          • Nov 2009
          • 2445
          #3
          Re: Hi Guys, I Love You All!!!

          Originally posted by ilovetehjeesus View Post
          Hey everyone! I'm so psyched to be here with all these like-minded and intelligent individuals!
          You have been telling a different story up until now. Why should I believe you have changed your mind?

          Believe me when I tell you that I've been searching God's green Earth for decades in a vain, or so I thought, attempt at finding souls who will not be damned to Hell! Let me say that is is an HONOUR to be amongst such prolific and educated servants of God!
          Well, let's get on to business then. What is your gender? What church do you attend, and what is the name of your Pastor? What is your favorite Scripture Verse? What is your favorite brand of beer?
          Sweet Lord Jesus,
          I want to pray for those who persecute me, my Lord.
          Please, treat their children as you treated those of Egypt, when they upset you! (Psalm 135:8-9)
          Dash their little children against the stones for their fathers iniquity! (Psalm 137:8-9)
          Hit them on the cheek, and smash out their teeth! (Psalm 3:7)
          Make their death and descent into Hell swift and terrible! (Psalm 55:15)
          Scatter their broken bodies over the streets of their evil cities, like Benghazi, Amsterdam, Tokyo and Mecca! (Psalm 110:6)
          Praised be Your Glorious Name™.

          Amen.

            Comment

            • ilovetehjeesus
              Unsaved trash
              Under Investigation
              • Mar 2010
              • 22
              #4
              Re: Hi Guys, I Love You All!!!

              Originally posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
              You spell 'honor' a strange way. Are you a Brit?

              Anyhoo, we really need to know you a little better.
              Which church do you attend?
              What's your favorite Bible verse (please don't give us no garbage, like a nancy boy, about "Ooo, I like them all")
              How many sons do you have?
              What's your favorite pie?
              How long does it take you to field dress a deer?
              That's right, I am a Brit. I hope that's not a problem.

              I attend a small church in the middle of my village of Tilmanstone (I live int he middle of nowhere, practically) and, while I do like all Bible verses, this one sticks out particularly to me:

              "The king shall joy in thy strength, O LORD; and in thy salvation how greatly shall he rejoice!"

              Favourite pie is cherry, and I'm afraid I have no idea how to field dress a deer.

              Originally posted by True Disciple View Post
              You have been telling a different story up until now. Why should I believe you have changed your mind?

              Well, let's get on to business then. What is your gender? What church do you attend, and what is the name of your Pastor? What is your favorite Scripture Verse? What is your favorite brand of beer?
              I'm afraid it is entirely your choice to believe me. Embrace me as a brother or shun me, but ultimately God will decide my fate.

              I am male, and my Pastor is Luke Evans. See above for my favourite scripture verse and church, and I like to keep my kidneys pure, so no alcohol here.

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