Let me please introduce myself

[Minisink]

Hello everyone! How are you doing today?

My name is Ted Smith and I'm very interesting about what you folks are doing here. I hope I'm welcomed with warm hearts.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Let me please introduce myself

Hello everyone! How are you doing today?

My name is Ted Smith and I'm very interesting about what you folks are doing here. I hope I'm welcomed with warm hearts.

Please tell us about yourself. That's what "introduction" means. What church do you attend? How old are you? Where do you hail from? Fill in the details, and let us welcome you True Christan(tm) style.

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

[James Dewitt]

Re: Let me please introduce myself

Hello everyone! How are you doing today?

My name is Ted Smith and I'm very interesting about what you folks are doing here. I hope I'm welcomed with warm hearts.

Welcome Ted, pull up a chair and tell us about your personal relationship with Jesus. Ted how many sons have you fathered for Jesus? Are you a Baptist, ya know real Christians are.

[Minisink]

Re: Let me please introduce myself

Ah, I'm very sorry, Pastor Ezekiel. Let me re-evaluate my introduction.

My name is Ted Ursaring. I am 25 years old. My family hails from Russia. I have not attended church in quiet some time, because where I went to school, it was mainly filled with people of the Jewish religion.

Hey James! I have not fathered any children as of yet, for I am still an untouched virgin. I have not yet found a woman blessed enough to accept my seed.

As for more, I am a disciple of the art of pharmaceuticals. I am still on my way to earning my degree, but it should all be accomplished with time.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Let me please introduce myself

I see, a communist, huh?

Would you be interested in turning your life over to Jesus instead of Stalin or Mao?

[Minisink]

Re: Let me please introduce myself

Oh no, I'm sorry sir, but nothing can change my path from the glorious, righteousness of Communism.

But of course, I jest. In all actuality, my family came to the United States just as Communism was taking over our home land.

May I ask where your ancestors hail from, Pastor?

[Before The Mast]

Re: Let me please introduce myself

My name is Ted Smith...

My name is Ted Ursaring.

As I just made a request to have my name here on the forum to be changed to my real name now that I feel more comfortable with the staff of LBC, I am curious, why the name change in 2 posts?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Let me please introduce myself

May I ask where your ancestors hail from, Pastor?

My church bio is HERE.

As I just made a request to have my name here on the forum to be changed to my real name now that I feel more comfortable with the staff of LBC, I am curious, why the name change in 2 posts?

Please answer the question posed above, "comrade Ted."

[James Dewitt]

Re: Let me please introduce myself

Oh no, I'm sorry sir, but nothing can change my path from the glorious, righteousness of Communism.

But of course, I jest. In all actuality, my family came to the United States just as Communism was taking over our home land.

Did they sneak in like the Messicants?

May I ask where your ancestors hail from, Pastor

I think the Pastor's family is from Iowa. My family is from New York, New York. Now I live here in Iowa with my lovely wife Phebe.
Tell me son has Jesus touched you today? Do you follow the entire KJV1611?

[Minisink]

Re: Let me please introduce myself

As I just made a request to have my name here on the forum to be changed to my real name now that I feel more comfortable with the staff of LBC, I am curious, why the name change in 2 posts?

Seems as though you kind people have put an infraction upon me.

I should have explained myself more thoroughly. Forgive my misguided actions.

Ursaring was actually my family's name before we came to the United States. In Russia, it was Ursaring. Because I was explaining where my ancestors hailed from, I thought I may as well go all the way back and explain my entire lineage.

Also, may I ask why I have this infraction on me now?

Dear Minisink,

You have received an infraction at The Landover Baptist Church Forums.

Reason: Being a Russian church avoider

This just doesn't make much sense to me. Perhaps some light could be shed upon this?

[Minisink]

Re: Let me please introduce myself

Oh wow, I can see a lot of pathetic faggotry in this message board.

Christians - The Cancer Destroying Our World

[James Dewitt]

Re: Let me please introduce myself

Also, may I ask why I have this infraction on me now?

This just doesn't make much sense to me. Perhaps some light could be shed upon this?

Jesus guides the hands of our moderators, have you been 100% truthful?

[Minisink]

Re: Let me please introduce myself

Honestly James, are you a mormon?

[James Dewitt]

Re: Let me please introduce myself

Honestly James, are you a mormon?

Watch your step bub, I am an Independent Baptist, I dont belong to a damn cult! Mormons aren't even Christians. Do you hate Jesus, you must. You insulted a True Christian. I am afraid that I must inform the on hand moderator!

[Titus Templeton]

Re: Let me please introduce myself

Russians...useless people who sleep in their own vomited vodka