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  • God Allmighty
    Unsaved trash
    Under Investigation
    • Sep 2010
    • 6
    #1

    Hello!

    You probably already all know me,i am the Lord allmighty,i have a son named jesus,and i enjoy golf,movies,facebook,and heavy metal music.I like making new friends,especially those who read my book (the bible),which im surprised became so popular.elvis and zeus said hi everybody by the way
    Tags: None
    • Mrs. Rogers
      compassion personified
      True Christian™
      • Sep 2006
      • 2692
      #2
      Re: Hello!

      Your delusions of grandeur can be treated, son. Do you have a brother named Napoleon, by the way?

      I am praying for you, dear.
      True Christians are Perfect!

      Signs that you belong to a FALSE Christian Church.

      Persecution You Have Endured for CHRIST: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger in Christ.

      For True Christians™ only: please send me Project Habakkuk updates at gertruderogers@landoverbaptist.net. Thank you.

        Comment

        • Lisa H
          Proud to be Blonde, Beautiful, and Baptist
          True Christian™
          • Jun 2010
          • 5070
          #3
          Re: Hello!

          Really. What an imagination you have, are you planning on writing fiction stories.

          Now write a real introduction.
          Genesis 1:1 In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth
          Proverbs 19:25 Smite a scorner, and the simple will beware: and reprove one that hath understanding, and he will understand knowledge.
          Ezekiel 16:14 And thy renown went forth among the heathen for thy beauty: for it was perfect through my comeliness, which I had put upon thee, saith the Lord GOD.
          Proverbs 6:25 Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids.
          Genesis 24:16 And the damsel was very fair to look upon, a virgin, neither had any man known her: and she went down to the well, and filled her pitcher, and came up.
          Song of Solomon 1:15 Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves' eyes.

            Comment

            • God Allmighty
              Unsaved trash
              Under Investigation
              • Sep 2010
              • 6
              #4
              Re: Hello!

              You dont have to tell me youre praying,i can hear you.Im God,how many times to i have to say that?Jesus Christ...............

                Comment

                • Lisa H
                  Proud to be Blonde, Beautiful, and Baptist
                  True Christian™
                  • Jun 2010
                  • 5070
                  #5
                  Re: Hello!

                  Originally posted by God Allmighty View Post
                  You dont have to tell me youre praying,i can hear you.Im God,how many times to i have to say that?Jesus Christ...............
                  You should be careful when being blasphemous towards the Lord. You sin will never be forgiven.


                  Matthew 12:31 Wherefore I say unto you, All manner of sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven unto men: but the blasphemy against the Holy Ghost shall not be forgiven unto men.
                  Genesis 1:1 In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth
                  Proverbs 19:25 Smite a scorner, and the simple will beware: and reprove one that hath understanding, and he will understand knowledge.
                  Ezekiel 16:14 And thy renown went forth among the heathen for thy beauty: for it was perfect through my comeliness, which I had put upon thee, saith the Lord GOD.
                  Proverbs 6:25 Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids.
                  Genesis 24:16 And the damsel was very fair to look upon, a virgin, neither had any man known her: and she went down to the well, and filled her pitcher, and came up.
                  Song of Solomon 1:15 Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves' eyes.

                    Comment

                    • God Allmighty
                      Unsaved trash
                      Under Investigation
                      • Sep 2010
                      • 6
                      #6
                      Re: Hello!

                      Listen,i am the Lord,i live in heaven,and its freaking boring!why do u think i got internet?dont tell me i wont be forgiven.........oh yeah and steven hawkings was right.

                        Comment

                        • Lisa H
                          Proud to be Blonde, Beautiful, and Baptist
                          True Christian™
                          • Jun 2010
                          • 5070
                          #7
                          Re: Hello!

                          Originally posted by God Allmighty View Post
                          Listen,i am the Lord,i live in heaven,and its freaking boring!why do u think i got internet?dont tell me i wont be forgiven.........oh yeah and steven hawkings was right.
                          HA HA HA. If Steven Hawkings is right, then you would not exist, so you would not be here. Now try and explain that.
                          Genesis 1:1 In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth
                          Proverbs 19:25 Smite a scorner, and the simple will beware: and reprove one that hath understanding, and he will understand knowledge.
                          Ezekiel 16:14 And thy renown went forth among the heathen for thy beauty: for it was perfect through my comeliness, which I had put upon thee, saith the Lord GOD.
                          Proverbs 6:25 Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids.
                          Genesis 24:16 And the damsel was very fair to look upon, a virgin, neither had any man known her: and she went down to the well, and filled her pitcher, and came up.
                          Song of Solomon 1:15 Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves' eyes.

                            Comment

                            • God Allmighty
                              Unsaved trash
                              Under Investigation
                              • Sep 2010
                              • 6
                              #8
                              Re: Hello!

                              I Dont have to....im God!

                                Comment

                                • Lisa H
                                  Proud to be Blonde, Beautiful, and Baptist
                                  True Christian™
                                  • Jun 2010
                                  • 5070
                                  #9
                                  Re: Hello!

                                  Originally posted by God Allmighty View Post
                                  I Dont have to....im God!
                                  Now little boy, it is about time you stop your blasphemous talk. Does your mother wash your mouth out with soap when she hears you talk like this.

                                  Colossians 3:8 But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth.
                                  Genesis 1:1 In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth
                                  Proverbs 19:25 Smite a scorner, and the simple will beware: and reprove one that hath understanding, and he will understand knowledge.
                                  Ezekiel 16:14 And thy renown went forth among the heathen for thy beauty: for it was perfect through my comeliness, which I had put upon thee, saith the Lord GOD.
                                  Proverbs 6:25 Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids.
                                  Genesis 24:16 And the damsel was very fair to look upon, a virgin, neither had any man known her: and she went down to the well, and filled her pitcher, and came up.
                                  Song of Solomon 1:15 Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves' eyes.

                                    Comment

                                    • God Allmighty
                                      Unsaved trash
                                      Under Investigation
                                      • Sep 2010
                                      • 6
                                      #10
                                      Re: Hello!

                                      *profanity removed*
                                      Last edited by Phebe Carlyle; 09-22-2010, 11:10 AM. Reason: to remove profanity.

                                        Comment

                                        • Lisa H
                                          Proud to be Blonde, Beautiful, and Baptist
                                          True Christian™
                                          • Jun 2010
                                          • 5070
                                          #11
                                          Re: Hello!

                                          Originally posted by God Allmighty View Post
                                          no,your mother does.........and she doesnt use soap hahahaha IM GOD HOE BOW TO ME!
                                          You really do think your funny. It must be a disappointment to find no-one is laughing at your attempted humour.
                                          Genesis 1:1 In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth
                                          Proverbs 19:25 Smite a scorner, and the simple will beware: and reprove one that hath understanding, and he will understand knowledge.
                                          Ezekiel 16:14 And thy renown went forth among the heathen for thy beauty: for it was perfect through my comeliness, which I had put upon thee, saith the Lord GOD.
                                          Proverbs 6:25 Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids.
                                          Genesis 24:16 And the damsel was very fair to look upon, a virgin, neither had any man known her: and she went down to the well, and filled her pitcher, and came up.
                                          Song of Solomon 1:15 Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves' eyes.

                                            Comment

                                            • Titus Templeton
                                              Director of the German "Holy-caust" Evangelical Crusade
                                              Jesus macht frei
                                              True Christian™
                                              • Aug 2010
                                              • 5912
                                              #12
                                              Re: Hello!

                                              You think it is funny to mock God?
                                              Please go away, scum.
                                              -The Parable of the white laundry and the black man
                                              -Scientific proof that GAY SEX IS UNHYGIENIC!
                                              -Holocaust Jokes
                                              -Diarrhea: The Va​ginal Lubrication of the Homosexuals
                                              -Anne Frank vs. Adolf Hitler: Who was the worse person?
                                              -10 Reasons why GOD HATES FRANCE!
                                              -5 Reasons why GOD HATES LEAGUE OF LEGENDS!
                                              -Today I am declaring War against Woman's Rights!

                                                Comment

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