[Redeemed Papist]

Re: I come crying to you!

I type quickly, and there is no edit button on this website!

It's always someone else's fault with teenagers.

Micah 2:1 Woe to them that devise iniquity, and work evil upon their beds! when the morning is light, they practise it, because it is in the power of their hand.

God is speaking to YOU, young masturbator.

[Isaac Fisher]

Re: I come crying to you!

Don't be too snappy. Once you are deemed responsible to edit your posts you will be able to.

Also, your profile picture is sorta... uhg.

[James Hutchins]

Re: I come crying to you!

20 years old and not 3 or 4 four sons yet??? What do you do, masturbate all the time looking at pictures of black bucks in Sports Illustrated?

[Brother Temperance]

Re: I come crying to you!

Welcome, friend. I understand how hard it is coming from an unsaved family. Just count yourself lucky that you weren't born to wiccans, they tend to gobble their offspring up before they ever have a chance to hear about Jesus. But if you're willing to work hard, humble yourself, completely renounce your disgusting, sinful past and all your earthly lusts, and study the Bible intensely, I'm sure God will find it in His infinitely merciful heart to wash you free of your revolting sinful human nature with His Son's cleansing blood. Amen.

[Humongous]

Re: I come crying to you!

well, welcome Jovahiah! I hope you done stopped cryin whenever I get all sad like, I just pop in an old VHS of one of Peyton Mannings Tennessee games, and pray a little pray. then i go out back, and slaughter some of them sick hogs what Farmer Petrie gave me on account of they failin they USDA inspections? look it, a little hoof and mouth disease never hurt me none! it always does the soul right, with a little home cookin!

YIC,
Lori Humongous

[Jovahiah]

Re: I come crying to you!

Everyone seems to be welcoming me with such wide arms. The Lord would be proud of you all!

[Sister Kitty]

Re: I come crying to you!

Everyone seems to be welcoming me with such wide arms. The Lord would be proud of you all!

It is true that we are renowned as the friendliest forum on the internet.

About this woman you are soon to marry, have you introduced yourself to her yet?

[Neutronite]

Re: I come crying to you!

Hello fellow new guy!
Is there any chance you could tell me how you came to find enlightenment so i can join you and bath in Gods glory?

[Deaner]

Re: I come crying to you!

Hello fellow new guy!
Is there any chance you could tell me how you came to find enlightenment so i can join you and bath in Gods glory?

Why would you ask a new guy how to join and bathe in God's Glory? Are you a pie-stealing negro friend of satan?

My advice to you unsaved trash, is to ask Pastor Ezekiel (in the introductions forum) how you can be filled to the nostrils with the Heavenly scent of our Sweet Baby Jesus.

Keep your eyes closed, and your mouth wide open and wait for the flow of warm, sticky love that only our Saviour can produce.

Then get on your knees and thank Pastor Ezekiel for the sweet taste of God and His Disciples. Good luck and God speed sinner.

[Neutronite]

Re: I come crying to you!

Why would you ask a new guy how to join and bathe in God's Glory? Are you a pie-stealing negro friend of satan?

My advice to you unsaved trash, is to ask Pastor Ezekiel (in the introductions forum) how you can be filled to the nostrils with the Heavenly scent of our Sweet Baby Jesus.

Keep your eyes closed, and your mouth wide open and wait for the flow of warm, sticky love that only our Saviour can produce.

Then get on your knees and thank Pastor Ezekiel for the sweet taste of God and His Disciples. Good luck and God speed sinner.

You want Pastor Ezekiel to masturbate into my mouth? Whats wrong with you?

[Deaner]

Re: I come crying to you!

You want Pastor Ezekiel to masturbate into my mouth? Whats wrong with you?

Tell me where I ever said that Pastor Ezekiel should masturbate into your mouth you homo gear-box?

[James Hutchins]

Re: I come crying to you!

You want Pastor Ezekiel to masturbate into my mouth? Whats wrong with you?

What are you, some sort of basement bear loving homer? God does not think you are funny, not one bit.
You should be begging Deaner for forgivness for his reaching out to your in an effort to have the good Pastor share his love of Jesus with you.

[Deaner]

Re: I come crying to you!

What are you, some sort of basement bear loving homer? God does not think you are funny, not one bit.
You should be begging Deaner for forgivness for his reaching out to your in an effort to have the good Pastor share his love of Jesus with you.

Thank you for your support Brother. I hold my arms out in a warm embrace and this sinner spits in my face. Go to hell sinner.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: I come crying to you!

I am not easily shocked, but I must say I am appalled by the turn this conversation has taken! Is there some way we can petition another pastor here to delete those filthy statements before Pastor Ezekiel lays eyes on them?

I know he is strong in the Lord, and would take it like a man, but I see no reason to burden him with the knowledge that somebody put his name in the same sentence as a description of such a vile act.

[Deaner]

Re: I come crying to you!

I am not easily shocked, but I must say I am appalled by the turn this conversation has taken! Is there some way we can petition another pastor here to delete those filthy statements before Pastor Ezekiel lays eyes on them?

I know he is strong in the Lord, and would take it like a man, but I see no reason to burden him with the knowledge that somebody put his name in the same sentence as a description of such a vile act.

Not to worry FM; it is only more evidence that Christ may write in his Book of Words. Pastor Ezekiel is glad to be insulted for the Lord. Your concern has been duly noted.