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  • Jovahiah
    Unsaved trash
    Under Investigation
    • Sep 2011
    • 8

    #1

    I come crying to you!

    I have been raised in a Christian family, but need to be saved from those around me who claim to be praising the 'true Bible'.

    I know for a fact they are wrong because my mother has a job at an office, and makes more money than my father does (this obviously is a problem according to the Bible) but my parents refuse to believe that's true!

    I have joined your community in hopes to convert from my evil ways of my Christian parents and become part of the Landover Baptist Church!

    I want to feel the Lord move inside of me! I need Him to fill me with all of His Truth and Well Being!

    Blessed be His name!

    Hopefully you all welcome me with open arms!
  • Jovahiah
    Unsaved trash
    Under Investigation
    • Sep 2011
    • 8

    #2
    Re: I come crying to you!

    Silly me! I forgot to include my favorite verse and church!

    Favorite Bible verse would have to be Genesis 1:1 in the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.

    Because it's the hardest evidence to disprove non-believers! It says RIGHT THERE! God created the heavens and the earth!

    And the church I go to: Currently I'm going to
    "First Assembly of God" which obviously is NOT the "first assembly" because they don't follow the Bible in the correct manner!

    I am hoping to stray away from this church and become part of yours! I can fly to Iowa!

    Comment

    • Faith_Machine
      Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
      True Christian™
      • Mar 2011
      • 10050

      #3
      Re: I come crying to you!

      Not so fast, partner! You'll need to go through a considerably long vetting process before you'll be allowed anywhere near Freehold. You're on the right track, though.

      Not quite sure why you've delayed leaving that Assemblies of God church. Every day you spend in a false church is one less day in the Lord.

      And let me tell you, friend, every day in the Lord is a good day!


      WARNING:
      In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
      REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

      Comment

      • Jovahiah
        Unsaved trash
        Under Investigation
        • Sep 2011
        • 8

        #4
        Re: I come crying to you!

        A good day it is indeed! Praise Thee!

        Upon taking your KJV1611 quiz (http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0800/biblequiz.html), I got every answer correct! (which was easy when you know the TRUE word of the Lord)

        I'm glad I found you kind folk when I did! All these false words of the Lord coming from my parent's mouths were giving me nightmares!

        Comment

        • Faith_Machine
          Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
          True Christian™
          • Mar 2011
          • 10050

          #5
          Re: I come crying to you!

          Don't worry if all their nonsense has caused you to hate your parents just a little bit. God approves. In fact, he wants you to hate them even more:


          Luke 14:26

          26If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.
          WARNING:
          In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
          REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

          Comment

          • Jovahiah
            Unsaved trash
            Under Investigation
            • Sep 2011
            • 8

            #6
            Re: I come crying to you!

            You, my friend are truly blessed by the One and Only!

            I feel an incredibly warm welcome shooting out of you all over me! And it is good!

            Comment

            • Faith_Machine
              Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
              True Christian™
              • Mar 2011
              • 10050

              #7
              Re: I come crying to you!

              Much as I'd like to take credit, I think the spirit you're being bathed in is the Lord's.

              SHOUT GLORY!
              WARNING:
              In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
              REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

              Comment

              • Pastor Ezekiel
                Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                 
                • Sep 2006
                • 78556

                #8
                Re: I come crying to you!

                Originally posted by Jovahiah View Post
                I have been raised in a Christian family, but need to be saved from those around me who claim to be praising the 'true Bible'.

                I know for a fact they are wrong because my mother has a job at an office, and makes more money than my father does (this obviously is a problem according to the Bible) but my parents refuse to believe that's true!

                I have joined your community in hopes to convert from my evil ways of my Christian parents and become part of the Landover Baptist Church!

                I want to feel the Lord move inside of me! I need Him to fill me with all of His Truth and Well Being!

                Blessed be His name!

                Hopefully you all welcome me with open arms!
                How old are you, girl? Tell us about yourself.

                If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

                If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

                You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

                Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.
                Who Will Jesus Damn?

                Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                Comment

                • Jovahiah
                  Unsaved trash
                  Under Investigation
                  • Sep 2011
                  • 8

                  #9
                  Re: I come crying to you!

                  Thank you for the warm welcome Pastor Ezekiel, but I assure you I am not a girl!

                  I am 20 years of age, but hoping to start my learning in the Landover Baptist Church as soon as possible!

                  Comment

                  • Redeemed Papist
                    Former Mary Hailer who has seen The Light(c)
                    True Christian™
                    • Jul 2011
                    • 10409

                    #10
                    Re: I come crying to you!

                    Originally posted by Jovahiah View Post
                    Thank you for the warm welcome Pastor Ezekiel, but I assure you I am not a girl!

                    I am 20 years of age, but hoping to start my learning in the Landover Baptist Church as soon as possible!
                    Which of the ungodly habits of your parents particularly offended you?
                    sigpic
                    Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.

                    John 5:46,47 For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me: for he wrote of me. But if ye believe not his writings, how shall ye believe my words?

                    Join me in scoffing at backwards Muslims clinging to their beliefs in the face of the evidence!
                    The truth about volcanos
                    Sex and debauchery in public schools
                    Faith wins over science (explained for even the very stupid)
                    God Cures AIDS - GLORY!
                    Desert whale bones prove Great Flood once and for all.

                    Comment

                    • Pastor Ezekiel
                      Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                       
                      • Sep 2006
                      • 78556

                      #11
                      Re: I come crying to you!

                      Originally posted by Jovahiah View Post
                      Thank you for the warm welcome Pastor Ezekiel, but I assure you I am not a girl!
                      Really? Well you talk like one.

                      Are you a queer?
                      Who Will Jesus Damn?

                      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                      Comment

                      • Jovahiah
                        Unsaved trash
                        Under Investigation
                        • Sep 2011
                        • 8

                        #12
                        Re: I come crying to you!

                        I am not of queer decent. I do hope to have a wife in the near future.

                        And my parents have offended me by letting my mother have a higher paying job than my father. She should be staying at home! Why should she be making more than him? It upsets me that they do not follow the Lord's words!

                        Comment

                        • s. warnin
                          Forum Member
                          Forum Member
                          • Aug 2011
                          • 168

                          #13
                          Re: I come crying to you!

                          Originally posted by Jovahiah View Post
                          Silly me! I forgot to include my favorite verse and church!

                          Favorite Bible verse would have to be Genesis 1:1 in the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.

                          Because it's the hardest evidence to disprove non-believers! It says RIGHT THERE! God created the heavens and the earth!

                          And the church I go to: Currently I'm going to
                          "First Assembly of God" which obviously is NOT the "first assembly" because they don't follow the Bible in the correct manner!

                          I am hoping to stray away from this church and become part of yours! I can fly to Iowa!
                          Actually, Genesis 1:1 reads "In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth."

                          There is only one Heaven. You won't make any friends by misquoting the Truth, or presenting mormonian lies, boy...or girl...or whatever.
                          Jeremiah 23:29 Is not my word like as a fire? saith the LORD; and like a hammer that breaketh the rock in pieces?

                          Ephesians 6:11 Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.

                          Comment

                          • Jovahiah
                            Unsaved trash
                            Under Investigation
                            • Sep 2011
                            • 8

                            #14
                            Re: I come crying to you!

                            I type quickly, and there is no edit button on this website!

                            Comment

                            • Pastor Ezekiel
                              Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                               
                              • Sep 2006
                              • 78556

                              #15
                              Re: I come crying to you!

                              Originally posted by Jovahiah View Post
                              I type quickly, and there is no edit button on this website!
                              Stop complaining.


                              Why are you here instead of over in Iraquistan sending sand nigras to hell for Jesus?
                              Who Will Jesus Damn?

                              Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                              Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                              Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                              Comment

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