Introduction

[Stephen Hurley]

Okay then, I was told via private message to introduce myself after voicing my opinion on a certain thread so here I go!

I have a 17 year old atheist, anarchist, non-conformist New Zealander (YAY!). I don't care for your opinions and found them by a friend telling me about how pathetic they are. My girlfriend and I enjoy Anal sex and treat it as a rare delicacy on Sunday mornings.

That's just me

I have never read the bible, and refuse to even look at it. I have burned several copies before because I couldn't get the fire started; but my fucking god did it get that fire burning!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Introduction

Dear Godmocking Maggot;

Thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule of worshiping satan, drinking Foster's Lager and dropping to your knees for anyone with an American dollar to post this hateful message. The Holy Bible tells us that we are actually Blessed by your persecution! Thanks for proving that we're right.

Matthew 5:10 Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
5:11 Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.
5:12 Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.

Enjoy hell. I know that Jesus and I can't wait to watch you burn in hell for all eternity. Oh, how we'll laugh at you as you scream in agony! Shout Glory!!

YIC,

--Pastor Ezekiel

[Stephen Hurley]

Re: Introduction

Obviously I don't worship Satan if I am an Atheist. Does that make you mad?

At least I won't need a sweater in hell, me and 'Satan' can be nice buttbuddies.

[Nobar King]

Re: Introduction

Any more lies that you want to get off your chest before you start telling us about your journey with Jesus?

[Stephen Hurley]

Re: Introduction

Well.. that one last time in bandcamp; the big man with the tuba served hotdogs every night. But for some strange reasons we weren't allowed to chew!
Though, cheese filled sausages are just fantastic, I buy them every time now; but for some reason they never taste the same..

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Introduction

Let me explain to you how being unsaved trash works when you die.

You're dead. Whether due to your own disgusting sinning or the Lords divine will, you are dead. Instantly your soul begin falling towards the black abyss above Hell. The falling seems eternal as you gather speed and the heat begins to grow. Then you notice a red dot below you growing larger by the second, this is the Lake in the center of Hell. It is the brightest point in Hell therefore it is visible for a great distance. Keep in mind that the farther you fall, the further from Christ you are.
As you gain speed and the flames become apparent you may wonder how you can stop this from happening. The answer is simple. It's too late and you can't, you're doomed. Your soul is damned and it WILL happen. The temperature is now approaching the unbearable limit as your flesh begins to smoulder and ignite and you continue to build speed as you plummet toward the now visible boiling Lake of Fire. You can almost make out individual souls thrashing in the magma with your flaming eyesockets. Soon you will join them, your terror mounts as your screams become gargled with the stench of Hells evil smell. The heat becomes excruciating as you notice your skin peeling away and your bones becoming visible and black. Flaming and screaming in anguish, you splashdown into the acidic brimstone of Satans Lake at around 250 MPH. You are instantly vaporized and reformed as a tormented soul writhing in absolute terror in the deafening depths of the Lake that Burns Eternal. The pain is beyond comprehension as you gnash your teeth so hard they shatter in your mouth. Satan periodically plucks you from the flames to savagely rape repeatedly and casually tosses you to his infernal minions to rip apart and rape at will, only to be reformed and have this scenario repeated...over and over and over, forever.
Is it still funny mocking our mission to Save your soul? We want you to enjoy Heaven and eternal praise and worship at the feet of our Saviour the Lord Jesus Christ.

Unless you are Saved™ by Jesus Christ and His Holy website and favorite church, Landover Baptist, there is no other way to avoid this.
Contact our team of joo accountants at once to set up a Salvation™ guaranteeing tithing schedule.
Surrender you soul to Jesus and
JOIN US.
Praise Jesus!

[Josh Blount]

Re: Introduction

Obviously I don't worship Satan if I am an Atheist.

At least I won't need a sweater in hell, me and 'Satan' can be nice buttbuddies.

Wow atheists can't even keep from contradicting themselves in TWO SENTENCES.

I bet you think you also think we came from monkeys, despite the fact monkeys still exist

and you say we're ignorant

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Introduction

I think the only shocking part of your posts so far is your claim that you have a girlfriend.



Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth
Posted via Mobile Device

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Introduction

My girlfriend and I enjoy Anal sex and treat it as a rare delicacy on Sunday mornings.

There is nothing rare, or delicate, about anal sex. Anal sex is a practice engaged in for no other reason than to obtain sexual pleasure, massage the anal sphincter muscle and thereby improve bowel movements, stimulate the prostate gland increasing blood flow to this hard to reach area and thereby decreasing the chance of developing cancer, or to foster intimacy in a sexual relationship. There are definitely NO other reasons to engage in it! AND it is disgusting!

Despite all of the obvious reasons not to engage in anal sex, it is fast becoming a cultural norm and losing its stigma among sexually active people of all ages and walks of life. This just adds to the mounting evidence that these are the end times, and Jesus is in control.

All of this talk of anal sex makes me vomit a little bit in the back of my throat. What a disgusting and unnatural way to offend Jesus!

[Stephen Hurley]

Re: Introduction

I will pray that the Holy Spirit enter you and chase the demons out of your rectum and let Jesus fill you with His Grace. If you use your God-given free will to reject Christ and His temporary death on the cross for my sins, then you are sending yourself to hellfire.

And nah, why would I want to be saved by false hope? I'm good the way I am with my asspiffleing girlfriend. Sometimes she even puts the penis on!
Coo-ee thats some good lovin!

[VictoryOS]

Re: Introduction

I think the only shocking part of your posts so far is your claim that you have a girlfriend.



Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth
Posted via Mobile Device

If it is ok for me to add to the conversation, I would like to point out that when queers enter into a relationship, often one queer will take on the role of the "lady". Perhaps this is what our hellbound friend meant when he referred to his girlfriend.

How unbecoming it is for a Christian woman such of myself to be forced to speak of such disgusting subjects! Shame on you, Kotedato!

[Stephen Hurley]

Re: Introduction

Holy crap woman, just looking at your avatar I am in awe.. I DIDN'T KNOW FAT ALBERT HAD A SISTER! <3

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: Introduction

I always find it amusing when little boys try to shock the grown ups.

All in good time... God hates you, for He has told us so. I trust in the Lord to properly smite you when the time comes.

[Stephen Hurley]

Re: Introduction

Let him smite me. I bloody dare the old prick to do so.

How am I trying to shock the grown ups?
I'm speaking my mind

[James Hutchins]

Re: Introduction

Let him smite me. I bloody dare the old prick to do so.

How am I trying to shock the grown ups?
I'm speaking my mind

You were speaking your mind? Seriously?

Let me be the first to tell you, we are all mighty impressed, yes siree! Can you juggle too? Do you have to wear a helmet all the time so you do not bang your head?