Hello everyone!

[Steve Austin]

My name is Steve Austin, I'm 47. I go to the Lord Saint Master's Church in Texas. My favorite verse is John 3:16.

I came here to find Jesus. I think I had a horrible life and I want to change that now. Thank you.

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: Hello everyone!

That's one of my favourites as well.

John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

I love how it leads beautifully into underlining the subtle rebuke for waverers with the iron fist of God's hatred for the unbeliever.

17For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.

God's giving everyone a fair chance to believe in Jesus (even those people who live in rain forests and have never ever met anyone outside their own tribe) so everyone has a chance to stop listening to everyone they have ever met and to get with Jesus instead. It's all there and clear as anything. How can you not immediately see that Jesus' miracle-filled first life and temporary death was for this very purpose and no other?

18He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.

You burn if you don't believe. It's that simple. God speaks clearly and with no grey areas. He is a God of easy-to-understand and fair laws. You have no idea how refreshing it is to get someone coming into our Godly forums with the right attitude for a change instead of hateful atheists out to mock God.

Praise and Glory!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hello everyone!

Welcome to God's favorite forum, friend. Please share with us the sin and depravity you've been wallowing in. Let us help you walk in the light of Christ, and repent of whatever perversions you've chosen.

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Hello everyone!

Lord Saint Master's Church? That sounds like some kind of catlick country club.

Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth
Posted via Mobile Device

[Rapture_Ritual]

Re: Hello everyone!

You aren't by chance a pro wrestler, are you Steve?

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: Hello everyone!

You aren't by chance a pro wrestler, are you Steve?

Was that really called for? That man in that picture is quite clearly some sort of homer icon. In fact I've got my eye on you now, young man.

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Hello everyone!

Was that really called for? That man in that picture is quite clearly some sort of homer icon. In fact I've got my eye on you now, young man.

And look at his shirt, with the God-mocking "Austin 3:16" skull on it.

Well, the joke is on HIM. There isn't even a book named "Austin" in the Bible!!!



YiC,

Zech

[Rapture_Ritual]

Re: Hello everyone!

Was that really called for? That man in that picture is quite clearly some sort of homer icon. In fact I've got my eye on you now, young man.

I don't understand how that was offensive. If he's a homer icon, don't we want to know if this poster is the same person, or more realistically, idolizes him in any way?

[WinnerNotSinner]

Re: Hello everyone!

I don't understand how that was offensive. If he's a homer icon, don't we want to know if this poster is the same person, or more realistically, idolizes him in any way?

Well of course, it is our job to find out everything wrong about him and help him change for the better.

HOWEVER, we do this without posting big pictures of homersexual men on GOD's Favourite Forum™.

Tell me sonny, do you watch a lot of wrestling?

[Rapture_Ritual]

Re: Hello everyone!

Well of course, it is our job to find out everything wrong about him and help him change for the better.

HOWEVER, we do this without posting big pictures of homersexual men on GOD's Favourite Forum™.

Tell me sonny, do you watch a lot of wrestling?

Ah, I see how that would cause a disturbance. My apologies.

Do I watch wrestling? You may as well be asking me if I bathe in the blood of dead children. Who wants to watch greased up man slide around on each other except fags?

[WinnerNotSinner]

Re: Hello everyone!

Ah, I see how that would cause a disturbance. My apologies.

Do I watch wrestling? You may as well be asking me if I bathe in the blood of dead children. Who wants to watch greased up man slide around on each other except fags?

It's OK, don't sweat it. It just puts a bitter taste in my mouth of a morning when the first thing I see is some beefed up, muscle bound, ripped to shreds gentleman in an introduction thread. I get enough of that when I occasionally check the mirror.

My friend I think there may be hope for you yet. Here we have a zero tolerance policy to fag-enabling, so I'm glad you are with us there. Maybe one day the LORD will see it fit to bless you a True Christian™. Here, the only blood you will be bathing yourself in is the blood of Jesus Christ himself:

Revelation 1:5 And from Jesus Christ, who is the faithful witness, and the first begotten of the dead, and the prince of the kings of the earth. Unto him that loved us, and washed us from our sins in his own blood