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  • Swedish eskimo
    Confirmed Enemy of God
    BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
    • Feb 2012
    • 226
    #1

    Hi there brothers

    I am a blubber chewing, drooling, Bible-thumping Christian eskimo who eats baby seal eyeballs for breakfast and raw fish for dinner, living in Sweden (also known as Switzerland), i have seen some people on this forum saying that there is no eskimos in Sweden, well here is the truth: they are all lying! Infact the most Swedes/Swiss are eskimos, living in igloos in very cold weather conditions, eating nothing but raw fish, whale blubber and raw baby seal eyeballs.

    My favourite Bible qoute:
    For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts. (Isaiah 55:8-9)
    Tags: None
    • Redeemed Papist
      Former Mary Hailer who has seen The Light(c)
      True Christian™
      • Jul 2011
      • 10409
      #2
      Re: Hi there brothers

      Praise and Glory!

      Finally someone from Swedistan who knows that God doesn't want them to have opinions but just wants them to do His bidding or burn! I always suspected this about Swederland so it's good to have an honest soul come in to tell the behind-the-scenes truth behind the atheist façade we normally endure.

      Please tell us more about the ways in which your countrymen spit in God's face. Which Bible verses do they particularly despise and ignore?

      Also, how many sons has your wife given to you?
      sigpic
      Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.

      John 5:46,47 For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me: for he wrote of me. But if ye believe not his writings, how shall ye believe my words?

      Join me in scoffing at backwards Muslims clinging to their beliefs in the face of the evidence!
      The truth about volcanos
      Sex and debauchery in public schools
      Faith wins over science (explained for even the very stupid)
      God Cures AIDS - GLORY!
      Desert whale bones prove Great Flood once and for all.

        Comment

        • Swedish eskimo
          Confirmed Enemy of God
          BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
          • Feb 2012
          • 226
          #3
          Re: Hi there brothers

          I have 5 sons, named Sshghgdssöbøæ, Ysrhgfdvøøöty, Faøædshöashdhð, Hgdsdssddsgh and Pfasjaföjajafäå

          In Sweden we even have igloo hotel, anyone who says that Swedes aren't blubber chewing eskimos who lives in igloos, is clearly lying






          And, we also have igloo churches as well!

            Comment

            • Swedish eskimo
              Confirmed Enemy of God
              BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
              • Feb 2012
              • 226
              #4
              Re: Hi there brothers

              You may have heard that eskimos are hellbound nature worshipping heathens, while that is mostly true, i can tell you that i am not one of them, i am an eskimo who follows the word of God and worships Jesus. I have left my heathen eskimo beliefs behind and am now a Christian baptist who follows The Bible 100%, every single letter

              Here is an example of satanic eskimo paganism:

                Comment

                • Swedish eskimo
                  Confirmed Enemy of God
                  BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                  • Feb 2012
                  • 226
                  #5
                  Re: Hi there brothers

                  What is this forum's opinion on the ongoing eskimo holocaust in Finland?

                    Comment

                    • Faith_Machine
                      Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
                      True Christian™
                      • Mar 2011
                      • 10050
                      #6
                      Re: Hi there brothers

                      Originally posted by Swedish eskimo View Post
                      What is this forum's opinion on the ongoing eskimo holocaust in Finland?
                      Our opinion is exactly the same as God's opinion. Did these Finnish eskimos do something to anger Him?
                      WARNING:
                      In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                      REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

                        Comment

                        • Swedish eskimo
                          Confirmed Enemy of God
                          BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                          • Feb 2012
                          • 226
                          #7
                          Re: Hi there brothers

                          Originally posted by Faith_Machine View Post
                          Our opinion is exactly the same as God's opinion. Did these Finnish eskimos do something to anger Him?
                          I think that the Finns are killing them and also eating them, as you may know, Finnish people are cannibals

                            Comment

                            • Mary Etheldreda
                              Gushing for Jesus
                               
                              • Sep 2011
                              • 23775
                              #8
                              Re: Hi there brothers

                              Oh that's so sad.

                              Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

                                Comment

                                • Holyfield
                                  Forum Member
                                  Forum Member
                                  • Apr 2011
                                  • 245
                                  #9
                                  Re: Hi there brothers

                                  Welcome son of Caanan! To my astonishment there exists an eskimo that actually learned how to read and write! You are a walking testimony of the power of Jesus.
                                  Matt 5:17-20 "Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil. For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled. Whosoever therefore shall break one of these least commandments, and shall teach men so, he shall be called the least in the kingdom of heaven:..."

                                    Comment

                                    • Alphonse Alban
                                      Apostle to the Samites and Laplander Eskimos.
                                       
                                      • Feb 2011
                                      • 5724
                                      #10
                                      Re: Hi there brothers

                                      Originally posted by Swedish eskimo View Post
                                      What is this forum's opinion on the ongoing eskimo holocaust in Finland?
                                      What do you mean with this forum's opinion?

                                        Comment

                                        • James Hutchins
                                          True Christian™
                                          Just a Regular Nice Guy
                                           
                                          • Jun 2009
                                          • 29453
                                          #11
                                          Re: Hi there brothers

                                          Welcome friend. I have not heard of this holocaust that you talk about. Perhaps you can get one of the eskimoe participants to tell us first hand about it.

                                          I hear you are gettting a good winter there. Should be great fishing. Do you need hooks?
                                          Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                                          Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                                          Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                                          Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                                          Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                                          Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                                            Comment

                                            • Swedish eskimo
                                              Confirmed Enemy of God
                                              BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                                              • Feb 2012
                                              • 226
                                              #12
                                              Re: Hi there brothers

                                              Please Pray for Eskimos, Victims of the Finnish Holocaust - The Landover Baptist Church Forum
                                              http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=64745
                                              Please check regularly


                                              Thank you!

                                                Comment

                                                • Zechariah Smyth
                                                  Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
                                                  True Christian™
                                                  • Feb 2011
                                                  • 15251
                                                  #13
                                                  Re: Hi there brothers

                                                  Welcome my new eskimo brother! It's refreshing to see an arctic savage come in here and follow some basic forum rules instead of running around and demanding special favors and acting like a blubber-smeared madman.

                                                  In the pictures you posted, is that the church you go to? Do they use the KJV Bible there? Do you get piles from sitting on those frozen pews?

                                                  Yours in Christ,

                                                  Z. Smyth
                                                  sigpic

                                                    Comment

                                                    • Swedish eskimo
                                                      Confirmed Enemy of God
                                                      BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                                                      • Feb 2012
                                                      • 226
                                                      #14
                                                      Re: Hi there brothers

                                                      Yes, that's the church i go to, and yes they use the KJV Bible there. The seats are all covered with reindeer skins. Not even harsh Arctic climate stops me from worshipping Jesus! I have almost forgotten every single eskimo grunts and clicks that was my language before i learnt American which is God's own language, The Bible is written in it so it has to be God's language!

                                                        Comment

                                                        • Holyfield
                                                          Forum Member
                                                          Forum Member
                                                          • Apr 2011
                                                          • 245
                                                          #15
                                                          Re: Hi there brothers

                                                          Not that I have ever seen any eskimos here in Sweden but then again I wouldn't be able to tell them apart from their dogs. And we sure have lots of dogs.

                                                          I knew there were many barbarian savages of Asian origin stacked in our major suburbs. But that housing problems were so big there that now most people had to live in igloos baffled me. Well at least ice is more durable than crappy IKEA furniture.

                                                          Ice churches are really COOL! And totally immune to attacks from Norwegian Black Metal bands who like to burn things.
                                                          Matt 5:17-20 "Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil. For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled. Whosoever therefore shall break one of these least commandments, and shall teach men so, he shall be called the least in the kingdom of heaven:..."

                                                            Comment

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