Young Christian Boy Looking For Guidance

[Michael Phillips]

Hello. My name is Michael Phillips, and I am a young Christian boy living in the UK. I was sent here by my father after he found out I had been making contact with atheists, so, after beating me, he said I should come here to talk to some proper Christians. I look forward to meeting you, and I hope I don't offend you with my stupidity.

I am currently on my second reading of The Bible, as my father says I should learn all the verses so I do not commit any sins and worship Jesus properly. I like the verse Leviticus 20:13, as I think homosexuals are horrible, and they are also responsible for my Father having to beat me as I glanced at some while driving to church, and so my father had to beat me to remove any perverted thoughts from my head. I didn't have any, but I suppose it was best just to make sure. I think killing them would be a good idea, just like The Bible says!

[Brother Helge]

Re: Young Christian Boy Looking For Guidance

Welcome to our friendly forum!

What church do you attend?

You're not a catlick, are you?

[Holyfield]

Re: Young Christian Boy Looking For Guidance

Welcome young "Christian"!

What church do you go to? What is your opinion about your father? Are you being beaten often?

[Michael Phillips]

Re: Young Christian Boy Looking For Guidance

Hello, everyone! I attend the Haven Green Baptist Church, although most of my learning of The Bible comes from my father at home, as he feels that I should devote most of my time to learning it. And, I am beaten quite often, but only because I am foolish and often forget God's word. This is why I must learn the verses of The Bible, and speak to you so that I may become a good Christian. I think my father is a good man, as he tries to teach me what is right and what is wrong, even if sometimes my bruises take a long time to heal. I wouldn't say I love him, though. I save my love for Jesus, and the Lord! And, no, I am not a Catholic. My father says I should stay away from them.

[Hugues]

Re: Young Christian Boy Looking For Guidance

Wow your 'father' sounds like a very moronic person.

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Wow your 'father' sounds like a very moronic person.

On the contrary: it sounds like his dad loves him very much?

Proverbs 13:24 He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

My dad never beat me and it took me ages to find Jesus and let him enter me and fill my body with his love.

Think on
Posted via Mobile Device

[Hugues]

Re: Young Christian Boy Looking For Guidance

let him enter me and fill my body with his love.

Slightly homosexual.

[VictoryOS]

Re: Young Christian Boy Looking For Guidance

Slightly homosexual.

Well of course it would seem that way to you, given your filthy mind and predisposition towards homosexuality.

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: Young Christian Boy Looking For Guidance

Wow your 'father' sounds like a very mormonic person.

How so? If his father beats him then he is following God's instructions.

[Hugues]

Re: Young Christian Boy Looking For Guidance

Well of course it would seem that way to you, given your filthy mind and predisposition towards homosexuality.

Judging by your avatar it looks like you have a predisposition to eat way to much food.

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: Young Christian Boy Looking For Guidance

Judging by your avatar it looks like you have a predisposition to eat way to much food.

Why would you come here and pretend to be a Christian? What drives someone to do such a thing? You obviously know nothing about God.

[VictoryOS]

Re: Young Christian Boy Looking For Guidance

It saddens me that I come to this site in the spirit of giving and helping only to be attacked.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Young Christian Boy Looking For Guidance

It saddens me that I come to this site in the spirit of giving and helping only to be attacked.

Sister, we are all proud of you for your loss of nearly 150 pounds over the last few years. We know that before you found Jesus and let Him in, you filled that void with Twinkies, Ding Dongs, Ho-Hoes, and Negroes.

I'm sure you thank the Lord every day for your joyous, loving marriage to Officer Don, instead of those wild orgies of Hostess snacks, bourbon, and "Long" John Leroy and his pals with their "BBWW*" fetish.

* Big Beautiful White Woman

[VictoryOS]

Re: Young Christian Boy Looking For Guidance

Thank you Rev Rodimer. You words are a great comfort to me.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Young Christian Boy Looking For Guidance

Thank you Rev Rodimer. You words are a great comfort to me.

You're welcome, my dear Sister in Christ.

And may I congratulate you on your successful anus reconstruction! I'm sure it's a great relief to both you and Don not to have to deal with those adult diapers anymore.

Really, you should share that story in the Straight for Jesus forum, so the sodomites can understand what will one day happen to them when they get gang-banged by "hung studs" while drunk or high on highly-processed, sugary foods. Leroy and pals really did some damage, from what Don tells me.

That wasn't supposed to be a secret, was it?