Hi. Or whatever.

[annabethchase]

My name is Annabeth. I'm non-denominational and worship with my sister on Sundays at our house. We do actually worship, I'm not just saying that.
Anyways. I came here to look into Baptist religion to see if I wanted to convert. If you don't want me to yell at you for your opinions, don't yell at me for mine. I am not a violent person, but that doesn't mean I will stray from my morals to accommodate someone.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hi. Or whatever.

My name is Annabeth. I'm non-denominational and worship with my sister on Sundays at our house. We do actually worship, I'm not just saying that.
Anyways. I came here to look into Baptist religion to see if I wanted to convert. If you don't want me to yell at you for your opinions, don't yell at me for mine. I am not a violent person, but that doesn't mean I will stray from my morals to accommodate someone.

You've really got a chip on your shoulder there girly. Are you sure you're not a bull-dyke?

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

[Roberta]

Re: Hi. Or whatever.

worship my sister on Sundays at our house

Jesus does not smile upon lezbean incestuous females. Carpet munching is just as sinful as sphincter spoiling although I don't think that Biblically it's a capital offense.

[Nathan B. Forrest]

Re: Hi. Or whatever.

If you don't want me to yell at you for your opinions, don't yell at me for mine.

Well well, that's some way to introduce yourself: by making demands and threats. I see things going well from here...

~Nate

[Didymus Much]

Re: Hi. Or whatever.

Well well, that's some way to introduce yourself: by making demands and threats. I see things going well from here...

~Nate

She's probably one of those idiots who think that the free speech provisions in the First Amendment of the United States Constitution somehow apply on a privately owned Baptist Church's website.

[Nathan B. Forrest]

Re: Hi. Or whatever.

She's probably one of those idiots who think that the free speech provisions in the First Amendment of the United States Constitution somehow apply on a privately owned Baptist Church's website.

HAHA, I just LOVE those people that can't actually READ what the Amendment says.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Hi. Or whatever.

HAHA, I just LOVE those people that can't actually READ what the Amendment says.

Maybe they recognize that the USA is a Christian Nation, and assume this is a government website?

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: Hi. Or whatever.

Oh great! another one that makes God up in her own head to justify her entirely self-made moral code then gets angry with us if we don't magically think God is the same as she does.

[annabethchase]

Re: Hi. Or whatever.

Jesus does not smile upon lezbean incestuous females. Carpet munching is just as sinful as sphincter spoiling although I don't think that Biblically it's a capital offense.

Wow. You misquoted me to make me look bad. You must be so special.

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Hi. Or whatever.

Wow. You misquoted me to make me look bad. You must be so special.

You make yourself look bad without anyone's help. You came in here barking like some kind of rabid wolverine and then expected people to overlook your insolence.

NO.

This is not some feel-good church where you can do what you want and say whatever narcotic-inspired foolishness you can come up with. No: when you act like an idiot, you will be told exactly that, and given a scriptural basis for it. If you cannot comport yourself properly you will be asked to leave.

(Matthew 7:14) "Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it."

So stop your pathetic whining and start praising Jesus.



Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth

[Wide-Open]

Re: Hi. Or whatever.

Anyways. I came here to look into Baptist religion to see if I wanted to convert.

Friend, there's one thing that being a True Christian™ has taught me, and that's to recognize little white lies. Or, in this case, blatant lies.

No you didn't.

You came here to offend. To stir. To mock. To feel better about yourself.

You did not bother to read all the important stickies, all the information we kindly provide to people like you, in our never ending quest to spread the Holy Words.

Someone sent you a link, and you decided to insult us.

Am I right?

Be honest for ONCE in your life.

PS: insulting us is insulting the Baby Jesus.

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Re: Hi. Or whatever.

My name is Annabeth.

Welcome, Annabeth! It is great to have you here in the presence of God, where you can sit back, relax and enjoy your relationship with the One True God and His Flock

I'm non-denominational and worship with my sister on Sundays at our house. We do actually worship, I'm not just saying that.

I find it interesting that you feel the need to reiterate that. Who are you trying to convince, us/God or yourself? We are here to help you with your walk with Christ, to nurture you and to help you with the parts of the Bible that your feeble human mind (and even feebler female mind ) may have trouble with. We are very well versed in the Word of God here and we are not ashamed of the Bible!

Anyways. I came here to look into Baptist religion to see if I wanted to convert.

You forgot to mention whether you were Christian, Jewish or Methodist in your post! I think you're making the rookie mistake of confusing us for Baptists. Christianity is not a religion, as you may have heard: it is a walk with Jesus; a relationship, if you will. To fall into the categories of "Baptist", "Lutheran", "Episcopalian", etc is just a trap. Jesus wants us to follow Him, not some doctrine. That's perhaps the biggest thing that the Catholics missed: we Christians are not just some social club. We are followers of the One True God. Converting to Baptist is not how you should approach it. You should think of it as converting to being a Christian! Read the Bible -- that is the only error-free Book out there. Don't let some pedophile priest read it for you, or some whiskey-swilling Lutheran tell you what you need to know.

That being said, you will likely find that Baptists such as ourselves are far better versed in their Bibles than the alternative branches. We pride ourselves in accepting the Bible for what it is: the inerrant Word of God from Pg 1 through Revelations. So in that sense, you have come to the right place

If you don't want me to yell at you for your opinions, don't yell at me for mine. I am not a violent person, but that doesn't mean I will stray from my morals to accommodate someone.

You seem to be getting awfully defensive in your first introductory post here. We are not here to attack anyone or anything. We have one purpose here, and that purpose is to shine the Light of Jesus on every person who stumbles across our humble website. Spreading the Word is our only mission, and if you have a disagreement there, then frankly you're barking up the wrong tree. We are all Jesus, all the time, and if you don't like it, then I suggest you take it up with the Creator of the Universe!

That being said, I hope you don't take us as being attacking. In our zeal for the Lord, we often find that those with lesser faith can be intimidated. As long as you're receptive to the Lord's Will and open to receiving direction in your walk with Christ, you will have a blast here. Welcome!

[WWJDnow]

Re: Hi. Or whatever.

My name is Annabeth. I'm non-denominational and worship with my sister on Sundays at our house. We do actually worship, I'm not just saying that. Anyways. I came here to look into Baptist religion to see if I wanted to convert.

Welcome. You couldn't have come to a better place to learn what Christianity is all about.

If you don't want me to yell at you for your opinions, don't yell at me for mine. I am not a violent person, but that doesn't mean I will stray from my morals to accommodate someone.

Nor will we. Our morals all come from God's Living Word, the Holy Bible. Is that where you get yours, or do you just make it up as you're going along?

You misquoted me to make me look bad.

We are Christians. We would never misquote anyone to make a point.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Hi. Or whatever.

...that doesn't mean I will stray from my morals to accommodate someone.

I'll believe that when you close your legs, sweetheart.