Hello everyone.

[coreyblundell]

Hello to everyone on this lovely forum. My name is Corey, and I'm an America currently living in Australia.

I currently go to a local church, which needs a lot of improvement. (Which is why I suspect everyone here is either a violent drunk or drug addicted lunatic.) The church doesn't even have a name, just a cross up the top and a tiny little sign. The people who claim to be Christians there seem to be nice enough, but clearly not on the path to salvation.

Although I have a lot of favourite verses in the holy Bible, I have chose to Genesis 1:27

I hope you all accept me as a member of your community, and help me come closer to Jesus.

[Noah Sole]

Re: Hello everyone.

Hello to everyone on this lovely forum. My name is Corey, and I'm an America currently living in Australia.

I currently go to a local church, which needs a lot of improvement. (Which is why I suspect everyone here is either a violent drunk or drug addicted lunatic.) The church doesn't even have a name, just a cross up the top and a tiny little sign. The people who claim to be Christians there seem to be nice enough, but clearly not on the path to salvation.

Although I have a lot of favourite verses in the holy Bible, I have chose to Genesis 1:27

I hope you all accept me as a member of your community, and help me come closer to Jesus.

Welcome to God's favourite forum. I'm sure you didn't mean to say that about us did you? Or am I reading it wrong?


YIC

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: Hello everyone.

Welcome to God's favourite forum. I'm sure you didn't mean to say that about us did you? Or am I reading it wrong?


YIC

I think he means the unsaved trash, Brother.

[coreyblundell]

Re: Hello everyone.

Sorry, my mistake.
The members here are all lovely people, and I wish the best for them. I was meant to type there, meaning the unsaved trash who I must unfortunately live near.

Again, sorry for any misunderstanding.

[Noah Sole]

Re: Hello everyone.

Sorry, my mistake.
The members here are all lovely people, and I wish the best for them. I was meant to type there, meaning the unsaved trash who I must unfortunately live near.

Again, sorry for any misunderstanding.

Thanks, I thought that was the case. It's unfortunate that you live near such human detritus, what do your family think of your neighbours?

YIC

[coreyblundell]

Re: Hello everyone.

Well, they're all disgusted. Quite frankly, living here is our biggest mistake ever. We're trying to find a more fitting community to live with, but there isn't any available places to live in those areas.

There's a gay couple living next to us, and they've "adopted" a young boy from a third world country. Who knows what they do to the poor child. I feel sorry for the kid, if I could, I'd tear the kid from those beasts and give them the stoning they deserve. There's also an old gypsy lady across the road. Sometimes, you'd smell something weird and hear faint chanting if things are quite enough, and she hosts loud parties every couple of months, whenever there's a full moon.

I'm quite scared for the safety of my family right now.

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: Hello everyone.

What in the wide, wide world of sport made you move from God's favourite country to a jumped up open air prison?

YIC

[Pastor Ed Lowman]

Re: Hello everyone.

Quite frankly, living here is our biggest mistake ever.

Welcome, Corey.

I'd imagine living where you are is bad enough just from kangaroos jumping around everywhere and bringing out the creepers with those "pouch" fetishes.

You have my prayers.

Pastor Ed

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Hello everyone.

Hello to everyone on this lovely forum. My name is Corey, and I'm an America currently living in Australia.

I currently go to a local church, which needs a lot of improvement. (Which is why I suspect everyone here is either a violent drunk or drug addicted lunatic.) The church doesn't even have a name, just a cross up the top and a tiny little sign. The people who claim to be Christians there seem to be nice enough, but clearly not on the path to salvation.

Although I have a lot of favourite verses in the holy Bible, I have chose to Genesis 1:27

I hope you all accept me as a member of your community, and help me come closer to Jesus.

Friend Corey, I admit I'm loath to ask, but what does the tiny little sign say?

[coreyblundell]

Re: Hello everyone.

Friend Corey, I admit I'm loath to ask, but what does the tiny little sign say?

It's just a little sign that says church, but the paint is extremely faded, and there's weeds and bushes covering the sign itself. I was surprised to find the church myself.

I've starting to get the funds to fix the place up, and asking the community to help, but most of the money is mine; nobody even cares for the church.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Hello everyone.

It's just a little sign that says church, but the paint is extremely faded, and there's weeds and bushes covering the sign itself. I was surprised to find the church myself.

I've starting to get the funds to fix the place up, and asking the community to help, but most of the money is mine; nobody even cares for the church.

The sign isn't broken and missing any parts, is it?

There are no odd symbols inside, are there?

I have my reasons for asking.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hello everyone.

Judging from your command of the American language, you're about as American as a chinaman. I know that all you Austrians would give anything to be America's 51st state, but this isn't the way to accomplish that.

So which is it; are you a member of the drunken criminal tribe or the drunken abo tribe?

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

[coreyblundell]

Re: Hello everyone.

The sign isn't broken and missing any parts, is it?

There are no odd symbols inside, are there?

I have my reasons for asking.

Well, there aren't any odd symbols, if there were I would have burned the place. The sign was pretty old though, so it is leaning to the side. I'm going to fix it tomorrow afternoon, when I buy some tools.

So which is it; are you a member of the drunken criminal tribe or the drunken abo tribe?

With all respect, sir, I am not worthless scum. To be accused as an Australian, I am greatly offended. I may not have been raised by the best of people, nor have quality education, but I am certainly American, I can tell you that.

[Levi Jones]

Re: Hello everyone.

With all respect, sir, I am not worthless scum. To be accused as an Australian, I am greatly offended.

I would be too, but the Pastor knows. He has Jesus guiding him.

I may not have been raised by the best of people, nor have quality education, but I am certainly American, I can tell you that.

Not when you misspell favorite like that!

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Hello everyone.

Not when you misspell favorite like that!

He could just be a pretentious twat. We do have a few of those here in America, who insist on Brit spellings.