X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 2
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous 1 2 template Next
  • #1

    Hi, I feel like I am retarded

    1I was recently in an accident that left me with around 20% of a normal brain.

    And I wanted to know if anyone else here has had this done? It felt weird at first but now it just feels normal

    Tags: None
  • #2
    Re: Hi, I feel like I belong here

    Originally posted by god4ever View Post
    1I was recently in an accident that left me with around 20% of a normal brain.

    And I wanted to know if anyone else here has had this done? It felt weird at first but now it just feels normal

    I'll be honest...20% sounds a little optimistic.

    Now, how about telling us about yourself: where you go to church, what your favorite Bible verse is, how Jesus made today better for you.

    Yours in Christ,

    Z. Smyth
    sigpic

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: Hi, I feel like I belong here

      Plenty of retards find Jesus. In fact they just soak up the witnessing like sponges.

      With time they can become ex-retards and join a congregation praising Jesus for every little thing like anybody should. Bless baby Jesus for mommy's booger cloth, I heard one say the other day. Jesus makes my wheels spin, howled another. Sometimes they even sing the right hymn.

      So don't be downhearted. You'll soon fit right in if you follow the Lord.
      sigpic
      Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.

      John 5:46,47 For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me: for he wrote of me. But if ye believe not his writings, how shall ye believe my words?

      Join me in scoffing at backwards Muslims clinging to their beliefs in the face of the evidence!
      The truth about volcanos
      Sex and debauchery in public schools
      Faith wins over science (explained for even the very stupid)
      God Cures AIDS - GLORY!
      Desert whale bones prove Great Flood once and for all.

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: Hi, I feel like I belong here

        Originally posted by god4ever View Post
        1I was recently in an accident that left me with around 20% of a normal brain.

        And I wanted to know if anyone else here has had this done? It felt weird at first but now it just feels normal


        Hi friend, you must be comforted by the fact that your retardation is all part of His plan.

        Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the Lord do all these things.


        When you are drooling over your keyboard remember God is just, he might have rightly smited you for something your ancestors did.


        Numbers 14:18
        The LORD is longsuffering, and of great mercy, forgiving iniquity and transgression, and by no means clearing the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation.


        Glory!

        Jack
        Genesis 22:2 And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.

        sigpic

        I know God wouldn't let me believe in Him if He didn't exist.

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: Hi, I feel like I belong here

          Originally posted by god4ever View Post
          1I was recently in an accident that left me with around 20% of a normal brain.

          And I wanted to know if anyone else here has had this done? It felt weird at first but now it just feels normal

          I'm a bit puzzled, friend. How would you know you only have 20% of a normal brain? Is this something some doctor told? I don't trust any doctor who's not also a Christian.
          WARNING:
          In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
          REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: Hi, I feel like I belong here

            20%?

            Now I know I slept through a lot of my neuro lectures but I can't help wondering how this could be.

            I'm sure this is not just leading up to a poorly concieved joke about Christians and brain power so I'm really puzzled.

            I hope you get better soon.
            1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

            Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

            Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: Hi, I feel like I belong here

              Originally posted by Laurence Niles View Post
              20%?

              Now I know I slept through a lot of my neuro lectures but I can't help wondering how this could be.
              post traumatic pneumocephalus

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: Hi, I feel like I belong here

                Originally posted by MitzaLizalor View Post
                post traumatic pneumocephalus
                I suggest trephination.

                Does anyone have a drill?
                1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

                Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

                Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: Hi, I feel like I belong here

                  Originally posted by Laurence Niles View Post
                  I suggest trephination.

                  Does anyone have a drill?
                  yes, I have a number of suitable appliances available currently this is one of my favourites

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: Hi, I feel like I belong here

                    You are all mirin me, and who the piffle edited my thread dumb piffles

                    piffle GOD, piffle JESUS. I ARE NOT REALLLLLLLLLLLL

                    /END

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: Hi, I feel like I belong here

                      Originally posted by god4ever View Post
                      You are all mirin me, and who the piffle edited my thread dumb piffles

                      piffle GOD, piffle JESUS. THEY ARE NOT REALLLLLLLLLLLL

                      /END
                      Oh dear, it looks like the demons are escaping.
                      Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Re: Hi, I feel like I belong here

                        Originally posted by god4ever View Post
                        You are all mirin me, and who the piffle edited my thread dumb piffles...
                        What is "mirin"?

                        ...piffle GOD, piffle JESUS. THEY ARE NOT REALLLLLLLLLLLL...
                        Prove it, or STFU, thanks.

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Re: Hi, I feel like I belong here

                          Originally posted by Didymus Much View Post
                          What is "mirin"?



                          Prove it, or STFU, thanks.
                          Bro check your rep. i think i'm crushin on you

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Re: Hi, I feel like I belong here

                            Originally posted by god4ever View Post
                            You are all mirin me, and who the piffle edited my thread dumb piffles

                            piffle GOD, piffle JESUS. I ARE NOT REALLLLLLLLLLLL

                            /END
                            Yes, 20% was optimistic. Did you type those words or were you just chewing the keyboard?

                            Do you have your carer with you?

                            YIC

                            Jack
                            Genesis 22:2 And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.

                            sigpic

                            I know God wouldn't let me believe in Him if He didn't exist.

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Re: Hi, I feel like I belong here

                              Originally posted by god4ever View Post
                              Bro check your rep. i think i'm crushin on you
                              Oh great, now Didymus has a gay groupie.
                              WARNING:
                              In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                              REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

                              Comment

                              Previous 1 2 template Next
                              Working...
                              X